Why doesn't he text me first anymore?

So I met this guy a little over a month ago, and we've only hooked up three times so far because he lives more than 30 minutes away. Before, he used to text me first to make plans or ask how my day is going every couple days at least. It wasn't only him initiating first because I would also always take his lead and initiate too, and he would always reply quickly and enthusiastically and keep the conversation going. However, after the last time we had sex a little over a week ago, he never texted me, so I texted him four days later asking how his week was going, and he again replied in five minutes and kept the conversation going. It's been four or five days now, and no initiation from him. Should I text him again, or just wait for him? Our initiation is now about 50/50, but I don't want to come off as too clingy because I really like this guy. What should I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Come off as yourself, you are going to have to be that anyway at some point. If you want to text him text him, if its clinging he can either like that, who you are, or not. At some point in the relationship you are going to have to be yourself and ask of him what you need him to do to make you happy. You might as well start now.

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    • 1mo

      The thing is, I don't know if he's even into me at this point. Would a guy reply within minutes and keep the conversation going if he wasn't interested? If so, why hasn't he texted me since Wednesday? I feel like he's stringing me along.

    • 1mo

      My point is, and I am not in anyway lessening your concern, that there is no good time to be someone else. People often spend the first part of a relationship pretending to be what they think the other person wants. If it doesn't work out, you have no way to know if he would have liked the real you or not. If it does work out, you have to start the process of unraveling the truth so that you can both love who you really are.

      Ask for what you want. Be yourself. He can either like that or not. If you want to text 100 times a day, then you will need to find someone who likes that about you.

      Talk to him about what you want and what you expect from a relationship. If you want the same things, great you will be stronger for having talked about it. If you do not want the same things, you have saved yourself a lot of heart ache.

What Girls Said 2

  • If you feel that strongly reach out again.
    But the following time, wait it out.

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    • 1mo

      Thanks! So I was planning on waiting until Sunday and then reaching out next week if I don't get a message from him. Is that too long to wait?

    • 1mo

      It's not too long but why not sooner?

    • 1mo

      Because he usually reaches out during the weekend to hang out so I want to see if he does this weekend

  • I think you should reach out again, but this time ask him to go out with you to do something. Make it casual but fun (examples: going bowling or ice skating or go kart racing or a picnic). At the end of hanging out, say I had a fantastic time today and if you ever want to do this again just let me know. That gives him the indication that he has to initiate it next time.

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