I Kind Of Cheated?

I have been living with my 25 year old boyfriend of 2 years. 2 weeks ago I met my 33 year old neighbor (who met my boyfriend & knows we live together). My boyfriend left the state for work for 1 week, and I agreed to coffee with my neighbor... who told me that he liked me? We hung out for a few dates (nothing intimate), except he rubbed my shoulders and hugged me. Anyways, I don't know what to say or do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't see it necessarily as cheating but you are flirting with danger. You should stop seeing him at all. This way you won't be tempted.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I view what you did as cheating and don't think you should "date" him at more. We told you not to go when you first asked about this neughbor. Why would you listen to our advice now?

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    • 1mo

      oh she asked this before?

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    • 1mo

      @BertMacklinFBI What is there to update? Yeah I went for coffee with him, where he told me he liked me. I didn't sleep with him, nor do anything intimate. I just don't know which way I want to go... my boyfriend isn't open to my having guy friends, and at the same time I am almost ready to leave, but am uncertain.

    • 1mo

      i think you answered your own question leave the guy since you let another guy touch you. its that simple. i mean if you were serious about the guy you would have never had that cup of coffee.

What Guys Said 10

  • you hang out with a guy who told you he likes you and ask if you cheated, you haven't cheated but you have scarped the surfaces. I personally frown upon that pretty hard.

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  • i don't think that's really cheating unless you let it happen and enjoyed it.

    like as he went for the shoulder rub, did you stop him at some point or just let him touch you intimately like that.

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    • 1mo

      I LET it happen, didn't stop him

    • 1mo

      okay well i could just tell you how I'd feel if my girlfriend told me that she met up with my neighbor WHILE I was away and when he went to give her a nice shoulder massage and hugged her and she didn't stop him, meaning she liked it, I'd be kinda pissed

  • Didn't really cheat but that's very inappropriate. Set boundaries that are not to be crossed. Should your boyfriend ask questions, don't lie to him.

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  • You see it as dates, then yeah you cheated. You knew it was a date and you still went for it. Now, ban this neighbour to the friendzone

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  • your boyfriend should kick the guys ass for touching you unless you dont mind other guys doing that while your boyfriend is away.

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    • 1mo

      And the boyfriend should spend a long time in jail for it. As far as I know, That guy didn't cheat. SHE would be the one in the wrong here, not him. Leave the guy alone.

    • 1mo

      No, he should kick the ho to the curb. White knighting is a good way to end up in jail or the hospital (or morgue).

    • 1mo

      @Barrabus_the_Free thats true but i would keep away from a mess like that if the girl didn't mind the fact another guy touched her. its trouble no one needs. lol

  • Yes you Cheated... you feel proud of yourself don't you?

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  • i wouldn't class it as cheating but i do think you and your boyfriend may be done.

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  • put it to it! do it do it!

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  • Leave your boyfriend

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  • Okay yes you were cheating. You went on 3 dates with this dude while you had a boyfriend? Come on man. I would of probably left you if i knew as your boyfriend.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Its not really cheating. But I wouldn't recommend doing something like going on dates with other guys. More like don't call it a date (cause thats more romantic), rather just call it hanging out. As long as there's no romantic or sexual shit going on I don't think its cheating.

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    • 1mo

      Wowww your thinking is just like OP completly lose charactered

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    • 1mo

      Hugging yeah, shoulder massage hm no that's pretty intimate but it's not cheating in my books, would just make me very uncomfortable to know some girl did that to him.
      But I have some pretty uncommon opinions when it comes to relationships so... I'm just really not that bothered by a lot of things.

    • 1mo

      I'm not so bothered by that but the idea that the neighbor is so clearly pursuing her for obvious reasons... I would steer clear.

  • Don't say anything, nothing happened really. Avoid the guy from now on. Don't be an ass. That was a close call, so you just need to control your feelings from now on.

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  • In my book that would be cheating. I don't think it's kind of cheating, it is cheating.

    Think of it this way, if you left town for a week and found out that your boyfriend was went out on some dates and then accepted a shoulder rub and a hug from a girl that admitted she liked him... and then was aware enough to know that it was something not acceptable in his relationship with you so he decided not to say anything to you because he didn't want you to know.

    I'd dump my boyfriend over that. So at the end of the day you need to ask yourself why you did that and if you really want to be in this relationship... and some things are better left unsaid.

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    • 1mo

      Thank you for your thorough and honest reply. My boyfriend and I have been having lots of fights... and on top of that my boyfriend doesn't let me have any guy friends. I guess I enjoyed the freedom?

    • 1mo

      Lol, he doesn't let you have any guy friends. Well, having guy friends isn't cheating. You do what you want to do so long as it doesn't break YOUR rules. You want to have a guy friend and have it be platonic, perfectly ok, but be up front about it, but what you did was not cool but i think you already know that.

      All that said, it sounds like you really don't want to continue this relationship under the context that has been placed around you by your boyfriend so either change it or break up.

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