What makes a guy want to date a girl and want her for more than just hookups?

It seems like a majority of guys know only want hookups so I was wondering what makes a guy want a girl for more than just a hookup what makes him want to date her/ be with her. What's that thing you're looking for


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd say it's very rare indeed for a guy who's hooking up to think, "Isn't this random woman just perfect for me?" And if that actually happened, would it be based on anything more than superficial qualities?

    He's got to be in a place in his life where he wants a permanent relationship more than he wants to fuck random women. There's no magic beyond that. If you're looking for "the one" in a place where guys look for hookups, you're in the wrong place. Trying to "make him," as you say, is the wrong strategy.

    It's not that I don't find many, many women sexually attractive, but I've never felt comfortable having sex with anyone who wasn't already a good friend. It just felt weird. I don't know if that makes me the best or the worst person to answer your question, but it seems to me you've got the order all wrong. Relationship first, then sex. Not sex, then relationship. Because you're right, guys who are hooking up will have already gotten what they wanted. Online dating might be your best bet for finding someone who is compatible with you insofar as wanting the same thing out of a relationship.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Need some examples from you. what have your experineces with guys?
    There have been guys looking for hookups, but i pay no attention to those... so i dont remember any of them. They are not important to me.

    I only rmember, know the ones that want me and have only wnated me girlfriend.

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    • 1mo

      Girl you're lucky! For me how I could tell when a guy wanted hookups is when we would talk have lots of stuff in common and just get along so well but then one day he'd ask to do sexual stuff and we weren't even dating and after I say no they ignore me/stop talking to me

    • 1mo

      wow!! good for you!! you said no :) then you got your answer. they are not what you want.

      so... dont waste too much time with one guy. talk to a few at the same time. the one that wins your heart, you give more attention.
      keep it sweet, then ask to talk over phone. you dont want to be string along as text buddy.
      over phone, be sweet, flirty (has emotions)... share common things... wow.. yeah i would love to visit this place, i wold love to do that...
      if the guy is not interested in phone calls. dont waste your time.
      yeah... my exs. only wnat me to be their girlfriend and said i m gf/wify material... make yourself more valuebale :P
      you can do it girly!!

What Guys Said 22

  • It sounds like you had a bad run - My advice is be patient, you could meet a decent guy soon, they are out there

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  • Hook up culture doesn't exist. If women are hooking up, they're doing so with top tier males. Average males do not have the pull to hook up with chicks in the majority of circumstances.

    Either the feelings are there, or they're not. If you want to make a top tier male commit, you're going to have some trouble; because he doesn't need to commit, as he has access to all the sex he wants.

    Casual sex doesn't exist. At least, not nearly close to the level that everyone thinks it does.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LbofwUoB8CU

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  • You're attractive and have the characteristics he would want in a serious girlfriend. Those characteristics will varry depending on who you ask. Part of it could be the vibe you give off, like if he thinks you are slutty then guy might put you in the sex only category and avoid committing to you.

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    • 1mo

      Lol the thing is I haven't even had sex before and I wojdlnt wanna do it with just anyone

    • 1mo

      Yeah, but he doesn't nessesarily know that.

  • Because she's good company and they share common interests beyond knocking boots.

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  • Minimal drama
    Isn't boring
    Similar interests
    Isn't a bitch
    Supportive/affectionate
    Attractive
    Isn't a prude

    If she can check these boxes, she's a keeper
    If she can't then meh, I can't be bothered.

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  • Depends on what the guy wants in a girl. Like for example if a guy is mature then he'll be attracted to more mature women.

    It just depends on what a guy wants in a girl

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  • If I have long-term personality and lifestyle compatibility with the girl, then I would want more.

    Otherwise most dudes would not want nothing serious and just want to have sexual play.

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  • I can't speak for all guys but I look for commonalities in hobbies and values. I think that with maturity there comes a desire to settle down. Personally, I think the more people hook up, the less they value sex and true intimacy. Some people never change and don't know how to pair bond or don't care to...

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  • Go for the guys with low confidence, they'll be glad of the company of a women haha! Guys that can pick up easily won't feel so privilged to have your company cause they have more options.

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  • A heart. I don't want someone who looks like a model if they're going to be dead inside or not caring. Of course looks matter somewhat, but even if she's remotely attractive then it's all good.

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  • Friendship, buddy, pal, real lover, history, best friend, confident, girl friend.
    Those are the reasons why I want to get back into a relationship again.

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  • Have you seen bechelloret? First of all men are not a fool. They are meterailiatic just like a woman. So if you are poor girl, you are out of luck. Men compare and calculate gain and loss. If you are pretty and poor, the chances are you will become a hooker. Nothing more nothing less. Money rules anything even hearts.

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  • If a girl is hot but we share different interests, then I would only want to hook up with her and not dare her.

    If I share similar intersets with a girl, I would date her whether she is attractive or not.

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  • Your looks attracts but your personality which determines whether or not we stay or go

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  • Being able to be comfortable with them. She needs to be caring. Show interest in me. Down to earth. Not hate sports lol

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  • Well, it really isn't making a guy not want a hookup, but rather the type of guy. :/

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  • Growing up? Focus on having fun for now whilst you still can :p

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  • It's what the guy is looking for. If a guy doesn't want a relationship and just wants sex essentially no girl will be able to change his mind. He won't want a relationship. Likewise a guy who wants a relationship will want one because he wants one and is looking for one. There is nothing you or any other girl can do to change a guy's mind on whether or not he wants a relationship or not.
    If you're looking for a relationship guy you've just got to be persistant and not settle for a not relationship guy because you get something in the moment. I know it's lame, but it's true. You also have to be willing to look in the right places. Go to class/church/a club (a group of people with similar interests) to find a guy. Don't go to a bar.

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  • big tits.

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  • Showing a guy that you are really into him is important. Knowing what type of guy he is also. If he is just the I want sex and done then the quote long term dating isn't for him. I have actually had the issue of girls not showing interest and I'm not the hook up type meaning sleep and leave. I have fun and do a lot stuff that's cool interesting and am totally loving. Be yourself, and showing them how much you care. My girlfriend texted me even when she had a migrane headache she wouldn't stop texting even tho I was like rest. So things like that can show how much you love. I had only known a friend that would that before her.

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  • Her to be sweet and a cute person. And being flirty with just me.

    Can u help me out about what a girl would do? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2149531-do-women-let-some-men-get-away-with-more-see-description-first

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    • 1mo

      Hope that helped. Any chance you can check mine out? I clarified in the description

    • 1mo

      Very helpful +1

    • 1mo

      @pnl86 Thanks, can u help me out on my question?

  • Well not only is it just looks but it depends on her personality and if we have a lot in common

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