She hooked up with another guy but when weren't exclusive... your take?

Technically it was not cheating because we never had the "talk". We hung out at least every week for three months and yes having sex. She would text almost every day. I was the one she would tell about all the good and bad going on in her life. She would want me to sleep over the whole night at her house. It was definietly not friends with benefits type behavior, it was more. Well, when we were hanging out last she said she hooked up with the dj at this rave she went to over the weekend after I found out. I mean now it's like she doesn't care at all. I NEVER acted needy or anything. Background on her : She's 22... busy with grad school, was married at 18 and divorced at 20 because her ex ended it/cheated. Maybe that's why... but still I don't get how someone can go from hot to cold just like that. It's like she goes from this sweet girl to soulless in a few days out of now where. Has this happened to anyone before? I know we weren't official but the way she was acting like it was much more which is weird how she could just change like that


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it's okay. Even if you're just talking I feel like you should only be talking to one person at a time. I don't think dating around and playing the field simultaneously with a bunch of people is okay. It's disgusting and shows what kind of partner you'd be. It's even more disgusting when it involves kissing and sex. Honestly if I found out I wouldn't want anything to do with them. That's just despicable.

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    • 1mo

      True, I mean I just don't see how someone goes hot to cold like she did. I know divorced women don't want anything serious are protected and are very cautious. Again I wasn't needy. I tried to stay exciting but all she ever wanted to do was watch Netflix and go out for food because of how tired she was from school. And she was still practically begging for me to hangout even after she hooked up with that guy. I don't know maybe hooking up with a "DJ" was like hooking up with a rockstar like a chance of a lifetime type thing. Just crazy to me

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    • 1mo

      I agree and I wouldn't care really if she wasn't acting like it was more but she was acting like a girlfriend almost and then out of nowhere, but thank you

    • 1mo

      No problem, good luck man.

Most Helpful Guy

  • if she had the hint of a reason to assume that you "could" expect her to be exclusive, it is already cheating in my opinion...

    i mean i don´t want to double dip. if i´m having sex with a person, i don´t want her to have sex with other people in between. i´m interested in my health!

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    • 1mo

      I agree... I mean I'm not stupid, I know the difference of when someone acts like it's friends with benefits and when someone acts like it's something more... and she was acting almost like a girlfriend then boom

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    • 1mo

      Yeah, thanks. I knew she didn't want anything serious yet but not to the point where she would just slut around esp from the way she acted with me. I remember when I was young like that but still I wouldn't slut around if I was seeing someone like that. Some girls are just terrible people even if they've been messed up before by another guy

    • 1mo

      not wanting something serious doesn´t mean you´ll fuck around. not even for a player. even players usually just fuck one girl at one given time.

What Girls Said 3

  • She is acting like that so you go quietly... she doesn't want to face conflict with you, but she doesn't want you either... I am not being mean, but the reason she went cold like that was probably to get you to put your head down, and just leave her alone... Since she has already been burned or once, she is probably still having a lot of internal issues as well. Move on, find someone who will appreciate you, and let her keep 'hooking up"- Best of Luck

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    • 1mo

      I understand what you're saying... but I just don't get why she would practically beg me to hangout with her on Sunday when it happened Saturday if she wanted to be cold. But you're right about the internal issues.. At least once a week or so she would say how she was feeling depressed for no reason. Anyway, I hate to be judgmental but I am going to make a rule to not date a woman who has been divorced for less than 3 years.. before her the rule was less than two years

    • 1mo

      And that Sunday she was still calling me babe, baby... just weird

  • I would certainly be kinda pissed if the guy I was dating (even if not exclusive) just slept w/a random person. That would mean he was a guy that was easy and I couldn't trust that he wouldn't go and sleep w/someone else. When you start dating someone and you really like them most likely you won't be seeing other people, much less sleeping w/them. I would look elsewhere.

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    • 1mo

      I am pissed. She goes from acting like I'm her guy two days before by being excited to tell me all these things, calling me babe and saying how excited she is to see me to not caring in an instant. That's what I can't make sense of. Would her being cheated on before in her marriage before have anything to do with that?

  • Don't go back she cheated it was said without words that you two were together

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What Guys Said 1

  • don't go back to her run

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    • 1mo

      I didn't do anything wrong her and it happened out of nowhere. I think she has low esteem issues as well. Have you found that some girls are just terrible people/sluts?

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    • 1mo

      I'm not with her. She hasn't contacted me again when she was the last to reply. If she does I'm not interested. She probably will in a few weeks when she realizes what she had. She might think she's better she can get with almost any guy she wants along with the fact that she is a party slut and was hiding it very very well from me.

    • 1mo

      get away from her

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