When I confessed my feelings, he said I'm "just a friend" but?

So I developed feelings for a man at my church who I obviously see on a weekly basis. I told him this almost a month ago and he said I'm just a friend, but his behavior is incredibly confusing to me.

I was almost convinced he was interested in the first place or I wouldn't have had the guts to say anything to him. He always smiles when he sees me, gives me a hug--even gave me 9 hugs in a single day once, seemed like a lot at least--maintains eye contact when we talk (save for the couple times I caught him look at my lips), he's noticed/commented when I've changed my hair/makeup, is good about remembering details from our last conversation, blushes when I tease him, got annoyed when another guy was flirting with me (though he was explaining the rules to a game at the time?), he's stood close enough for the length of our arms to be touching, has a gift I gave him displayed proudly on his office desk (a mostly bare desk), people have said he seems awkward/nervous around me, we catch eyes across the room and I've caught him looking when he thought I wouldn't be, and when we aren't talking to each other he usually ends up standing within 10ft of me or at least has his body angled toward me wherever he's standing.

BUT he usually takes until the end of the day to get back to a text (if at all), and obviously the dreaded "just friends" line--however, all of the above behavior has continued since he said that and has left me incredibly confused. Please help me understand what he's doing/thinking!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I mean it could be because he is busy with work and his personal life to respond to your texts. Might be that he is unable to have free time to tend to his personal phone? From what your saying he seems like a very very good man. Good men are hard to come by these days. Have you asked him why he only sees you as a friend? I agree that his behavior clearly shows interest in you. But I would talk to him more about it and in more detail if you can.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah I know that feeling. I'm trying to see if my freind at church likes me. I think she does and we have gotten closer recently but she recently started ignoring me. Except when I talk to her. she seems to really like it when I talk to her. So I'm confused about her.

    It does seem like he likes you but he might just see you as a freind. Or he is not ready for a relationship. It might not have anything to do with his feelings for you. With the texts he probably is just not a texter. Some of my freinds do that also.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe he doesn't want a relationship in general right now. Maybe it has nothing to do with you. Or maybe that's the way he behaves towards his friends. Some people are like that.

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