Is it cheating when?

So a girl starts seeing this guy (they are both teens and new to dating) and they are still just getting to know each other better each time they go out (on weekly dates) but it isn't obviously serious yet. Then about 2-3 dates in, another guy friend calls the girl to talk about his ex (who is a friend of hers) and asks to meet up so they can talk more about the issue in person (note: he is 22 and she is 16). Is it cheating if she agrees to meet with him 'as friends' and he takes her to a movie and comes on to her at the end of the night?

If she is not yet serious with the first guy at that point (they've only just kissed goodnight), at what point would it become cheating?

In the case when the conversation never comes up, at what point do you know that you've become exclusive with each other? Is it when you say "I love you" or have sex the first time?


Most Helpful Girl

  • No! Not at all! He's just your friend and you're helping him out with relationship issues! Besides, it's not like the guy that you're dating is anything official or he's your boyfriend or anything yet. He should recognize that you're naturally going to have male friends seeing as roughly half the human population is male and understand and be mature about it. Also, it's not like you've made any official commitments with him yet or anything, so it's really not his place to say anything about it in the first place. He can feel any emotion that he wants about it, it'll most likely be jealousy or annoyance, but he should be mature enough to understand that you're just belong a good friend out. You shouldn't need to say no to a friend of they're having problems just because this new guy in your life is around. If the guy that you're dating really isn't okay with it though, he's probably not ready for a serious relationship and hasn't realized that it's pretty immature for him to make a big deal about you hanging out with your friend. I hope that this ain't the case, but it could be true! If it is true, just explain to him that you're only helping a good friend with his own relationship problems, so he shouldn't have to worry about him flirting with you or anything because he already has someone. And if he's still responding really negatively, this guy probably isn't the one for you or he isn't emotionally ready for an actual relationship.


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What Guys Said 5

  • Technically, you could do anything you want without it being considered cheating, until he explicitly asks you to be his girlfriend, or you ask him to be your boyfriend.

    However, if you are interested in him, want a relationship with him, or have any respect for him, you shouldn't "do anything you want". In my opinion (and probably his too), it is fine as long as you don't do anything physical with the other guy.

    When you say he "came on to you", I assume you rejected his advances? If I were your boyfriend, I would be hesitant to continue dating you if I knew you wwre even hanging out one-on-one with a 22 year old man to begin with, and I would surely make you cut ties with him after he came on to you - whether you accepted or rejected his advancements. (By "make", I mean offer an ultimatum.

    So if I were you, I would cut ties with the other man so that it causes no future conflict between you and the guy you are currently talking to. Also, as long as you rejected his advances, the guy you are talking to should have no grounds for being angry.

  • It's not cheating since you are just dating. You're still single

  • It becomes cheating to date other men when you agree to be exclusive with someone. If you only had the intention of meeting as friends and you he tries to get more it's not cheating as long as you say no. If you don't tell the guy that you are dating what happened and he finds out it will look very bad so if you have agreed to be exclusive I suggest honesty.

    • No one had agreed to be exclusive but the subject never came up. She wasn't sure how serious the first guy was and didn't know yet whether or not to call him her boyfriend. Thanks, you are right about the honesty. This happened to me when I was a teen. I waited until we were serious (four months later) to tell him about 'the movie' and he broke up with me because of it. I guess he viewed it as a betrayal. It broke my heart because I was deeply in love with him at that point.

    • I think he is ridiculous for breaking up over a friend coming onto you. What control do you have over that? Honesty is usually the best way to go but it doesn't always work even with honesty.

    • Thanks for your response. That''s true. Honesty doesn't always work in these situations. Maybe I should never have said anything. That said, things were already rocky when I told him. We had our first big fight to do with girls hitting on him, so I told him about the movie, maybe to test him/test how strong his love was for me. He failed.

  • what the fuck is a 22 year old doing with a 16 year old
    do women overall just prefer older guys?

    • This was me when I was 16. I didn't go for older, he came onto me. I just went to meet with him because I was naive and stupid.

    • Show All
    • Wtf he broke up with you over something that happened when you were 16? I personally think you dodged a bullet there

    • Yeah, thank you. It makes me think of that song "The Freshmen" by Verve Pipe "I can not believe we'd ever die / For these sins / We were merely freshmen."

  • what do u care. ur 30 years old

    • It happened to me and it still bothers me to this day (see above).

What Girls Said 1

  • It's wrong and emotional cheating but did neither of you ask to be each others boyfriend/girlfriend? The only way it's cheating is if it's actually your bf/gf. If she's just a friend then no it's not cheating even though it's still hurtful.

    • He asked me out on a date and we continued dating but we weren't exclusive at that point, no. We fell in love, though and I didn't know that would happen (first love) and tried to be honest with him about it later and he left me because of it. Said "We got too serious"

    • oh yeah. That is cheating since you guys were close and he should know better. "being too serious" is what a relationship is supposed to be so hm :\