Should I worry about an ex still living with the guy I'm dating?

Buy So this current situation is kind of a mess but I'll start from the beginning. I've known this guy for 5 years and he went to the military and just came back and we hit it off like he never left. He and I would joke around and flirt but nothing serious, he was dating someone and so was I. I broke up with the person I was dating and talked about it with the guy casually. Everyone from work goes to the bar that night and he pulls me off to the side and kisses me. We start becoming close and seeing each other and he decides to break up with his girlfriend, especially because of the problems they were having before me. That was about a month ago. He and I agree to take it slow considering we both jump from relationship to relationship. Here's where it gets weird. They were living together, and she's from the completely other side of the country. She took the break up kind of rough so she's been acting crazy, and most of her stuff is packed up but she hasn't moved out yet. It was pretty hostile for a long time, she's threatened to kill him, she's slapped him, it's all so weird, but things have calmed down since and they haven't fought and screamed like they did a week ago, he's packed up her stuff, told her he hates her, plenty of things that would make me leave if I were in her position honestly. But I asked about it yesterday and he said she still lives there and helps her daughter with her hair for school, which isn't her daughter by the way, and things have calmed. He said since the rest of his life is finally starting to go well he doesn't want to deal with it. So I guess I'm wondering if he's still making time to drive an hour to see me every week but he and I aren't in a serious relationship, just taking it slow, if I have any need to worry about his ex still living with him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd make it known to him that you're not ok with her staying with him. He needs to deal with that whether you two get more serious or not. If he can't handle that, then he's an emotional coward. I'm not saying give him a timeline. But he should have his own exit strateg that is currently going on. Like 3 weeks until a she can move into a new place. Or finding housing back where she is from.

    Because right now he is her lifeline. He is who she knows and likely can't afford living on her own. If the little girl is in school, then she's probably leaving friends. New environment switch. There's levels to this. He's using the new thing he has with you to take him away from his home life, rather than deal with the struggle. It's only a matter of time, before it gets worse.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Or, things have calmed down enough for him to see she wasn't so bad and they're physical again.
    He cheated on her with you, and his ex lives with him while you're an hour away. Men (and women) who cheat and don't even wait for their ex to leave before saying they're in a new relationship are the worst kind of people.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You're stupid for being with him. Wtf is wrong with you?

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  • Probably.

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What Girls Said 0

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