I'm in love with him but I'm just the side chick?

The guy I'm in love with has a girlfriend and he's given me so many reasons to hate him but I just end up going back to him. He makes it very clear he loves his girlfriend and I'm just the side chick... what do I do to get over him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Start by actually wanting to move on.

    2. Think about yourself with other guys

    3. Actually go out with and flirt with other guys

    4. Realize that whatever feelings you have for him you can also feel with someone else (dating guys you're actually attracted to will make this infinitely clear).

    It's like this. You always get, what you actively "don't" want. If you're constantly thinking about "not having" feelings for him, then you are still focused on your feelings for him and will get more of the same.

    But if you focus on the actual feeling and having that with other guys, then you'll be more likely to move on faster. Moving on only happens after you accept what happened, let go of the obsession. Allowing yourself to have feelings with other guys is a part of that. Even if it's just a crush.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • cut him off. it's the only way. it will hurt but here's how you do it.

    start thinking about all his bad traits and how much you dislike him. then think about all the bs he's pulled on you. think "HOW DARE HE, WHAT A JERK."

    soon that anger will fuel your ability to stay away. eventually that anger will turn into indifference.

    get self righteous, love youself, ask about what you deserve.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Well, first of all, Don't listen to the girls on this one. You need a guy perspective.. You have to distance yourself as much as possible. I'm sure there's guys totally interested in you that have gotten "whatevered" This is the time to take a look at yourself and figure out what you really want!

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  • he should be ashamed for having a side chick and you should be ashamed of yourself for BEING a side chick

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    • 1mo

      we all make mistakes, man. that's how you learn. some people learn from other's experiences, some people need to go through it themselves.

      don't shame her. that's only going to fuel her self loathing and lower her self esteem. build people up, not tear them down.

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      at first i thought you might be mistaken and was just a guy who didnt' know he was doing wrong so i gave you the benefit of the doubt.

      but then you just proved to me that you're dismissive and ignorant. this is my last message to you.

    • 1mo

      @spassticer ok good night now

  • So you're in love with someone you know first hand is cheating?

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  • just do it

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  • You have to cut the string and stay away from him - Go cold turkey if needs be

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  • Stop seeing him. Done and done.

    He's not the only fish in sea

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  • Damaged goods alert.

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  • If he's going to do that to her, then, what makes you think he wouldn't do it to you?

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What Girls Said 14

  • What do you do to get over him? Cease contact and distance yourself.

    Clearly he doesn't care about you OR his girlfriend. Cheaters rarely care about anyone other than themselves. If he were to leave his girlfriend for you, he's already proven that he can't be faithful. If he cheated on her, what makes you think he wouldn't do the same to you?

    It's best to just let it go and move on and you won't be able to move on until you stop "going back" to him.

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  • From a Master Blaster's own Wise View, he is a Cheat Sheet and has Most Likely This "Full Circle Problem Pattern"of Going down a Bad Track Record that's Whack.
    Stay Clear Here, dear. If you Continue even Leading him on with your own "Hello's and Woes," You will be just this 'Side Chick' for this Dick.
    Many Here have Heard me for Nearly 3 Years and Counting, Refer to my own Same Saying of Something I use Quite Often: Don't end up in this "Triangle Triangle," Where you are Way at the Top, looking Down from Side to Side, at the Both of Them, even as His Friend.
    Good luck. xx

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  • Go out and meet new people. Delete him from your social media. You'll have to treat this like a break up. I always used to think about my ex and want to be with him. I was devastated when he got a new girlfriend. But I surrounded myself with my family and friends I burned pics of him and I together (which is extremely fun I really suggest it!) then I started talking to new people. He crosses my mind every once in a while by my heart doesn't break every time I think about him like it used to.. It'all take time but you'll get over it.

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  • Stop going when he calls... have self respect, you are not doing him or you any favors... find someone who wants you 100%

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  • If he really loves his girlfriend, then wouldn't have a "sidechick"... MOVE ON. He deserves none of you... it's easier to have one girl as a girlfriend and then give false hope to other girl who also into... that is not fair for you or the girlfriend whatsoever... move on, that's the only advice I can give, don't talk to him in person again, or try not to talk at all... try staying away or you can get more hurt...
    Just an advice, hope you feel better about this soon...<3

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  • Know that there's someone else for you who will put you in first place, he keeps you as a side chick because you let him.

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  • Assume your a joke that everyone laughs st, Get some self respect and never talk to him again. Time to make your own life happen. move on.

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  • lol. your under 18 . honey learn to respect yourself. No girl or woman who loves themselves will settle for being a side chick. And a man can't love a woman he has no respect for and he doesn't love his girfriend if he is cheating on her. He lack respect for himself and others.

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  • You get what you deserve. Sorry, I have no sympathies for hoes. Leave him alone and keep your legs closed and respect his girlfriend or continue being a the trashy option.

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  • First of all the love that he has for his girlfriend isn't real if he loved her he wouldn't be with you would he, secondly maybe he will eventually feel the same way about you

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  • Stay away from him and respect yourself

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  • you break up, block him, move on.

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  • This is one Shakespeare shot right here

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  • Maybe talk to a therapist or see if you can replace him with somebody else.

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