When a girl tells a guy she isn't looking for anything serious, will he automatically try to cover up his feelings by saying "me neither"?

Being a single woman, who is not looking for a relationship or even sex seems to confuse men. I personally don't want a relationship until I see a true future with a guy and really fall for him. Till then, why get stuck with a boyfriend I'm not that into and miss out on meeting the right guy?

I often run into problems simply talking to guys or being friendly. Everyone always gets the wrong impression, no one can seem to accept that I'm not seeking a boyfriend, just making friends and maybe along the way I'll meet the right guy. With that being said, each time I start talking with a guy, I tell him I'm not looking for a relationship right now and am focusing on my career till I find the right person. Automatically, he then assumes I just want to hook up with him. Again, I tell him I'm not looking for sex right now. I want the freedom to get to know a guy and be friends without being pressured into making a decision on our status. If I get to know him and fall in love, great. If not, then I don't want to lead anyone on or hurt their feelings. This is why I make things clear from the start.

With all this being said, my question is this: After I tell guys I'm not looking for anything serious right now, they often reply with "Me neither". Is this a truthful answer or just an automatic instinct as to not feel rejected?

I ask because if I was to ever fall in love with them, I'd want to know if they would be open to a relationship. I just wouldn't ask them as to not lead anyone on in case I don't end up liking them...

What do you think?
Thanks!


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What Guys Said 1

  • In general, and with a few notable exceptions, guys don't have much interest in female friends. Men's interest in women is sexual and sometimes romantic, and if it isn't that, and there is no "business reason" to be friends, then guys usually don't really want a friendship.

    When you tell guys "I'm not looking for a relationship", they're hearing "I'm open to casual sex/FWB." When you then say "I don't want sex", guys will be confused - because (they think) you just told them previously that you wanted casual sex. Once they figure out you're serious about not wanting sex either, they're going to walk away, because now you have nothing to offer them that they're interested in.

    I know that sounds cruel, but if you think about how most guys actually act, you'll see that it's true. You may have guys as acquaintances, but you probably won't have them as friends - and if you think you do, they're probably hanging around you waiting for an opportunity for sex.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think there exists a guy who is actually looking for something serious from the get go. I think they don't look for anything, they just follow their instincts and don't think too much ahead. Then if the things go well they start thinking about it... It's us girls who think million years ahead lol.

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