This guy I'm seeing, insists on paying for every date! Do you think that this is OK?

  • It's OK
    72% (88)64% (77)68% (165)Vote
  • Not OK
    28% (34)36% (43)32% (77)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

1|1
41|55

Most Helpful Guy

  • Probably old-school like me

    2|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      he is 33, and hasn't dated much at all...

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      Well i have a boyfriend, and we have been hanging out and he is trying to win me over so i leave my boyfriend... so hopefully him paying is genuine because he wants to, and not because he feels like money will get me to leave my man

    • 1mo

      I'm not denying that he may have an ultimatum but you said he never dated much so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt

Most Helpful Girl

  • Insisting that you should do him some favors as well is not being pushy.
    When it comes to paying or doing favors, I low key will keep pushing until they give in, because although it seems kinda forward, its the respectful thing to do.
    He is obviously just being a nice guy and obviously has very good manners.
    So its good, of course, but try to insist at times too.

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 54

  • Chivalry has been lost. I don't want a girl to pay for anything. If I am to marry her she is going to be under my protection, my provision, I need her to know I'm willing to care for her and be there no matter what. Asking her to pay for a meal is scummy to me.

    4|1
    1|3
  • Hmm. With so many replies already, I figured I would find the one that was the same as mine and upvote. But it's not here yet, so maybe I'm being too subtle.

    It's cool that he wants to pay and treat you and take care of you. It's gracious. But half of graciousness is also being able to accept a gift or favor and allow the other person have that awesome it's-better-to-give-the-receive feeling. Without that, it's a bit militaristic and not all the way grown up.

    So, because you used the word "insist", I answered no. If he *offered* to pay every time, that would be great, so long as he could also say please and thank you when you offered.

    Maybe I'm splitting hairs, but this would be important to me. If I were you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah. It's good he wants to pay for the dates as long as your fine with it.
    I got old fashion values so i like to pay for dates when I'm dating a girl.

    3|0
    0|0
  • don't worry about it

    2|0
    0|0
  • Hard to say depends on you being comfortable with it and if he insists then it is probably okay but personally I wouldn't be happy with it either being paid for or doing the paying.

    0|0
    0|0
  • it's ok if you're ok with it. if you're not you need to tell him

    0|0
    0|0
  • That means that he does really like you!

    When it comes to who pays for dates, I always go Dutch, unless I know she is either 1) not working, or 2) makes significantly less than I do

    0|1
    0|0
  • As long as you make a genuine offer to pay it's fine.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Back in the day we used to call a guy like that "a man". Anyway, if you really like him stay with him. If you much spend some money don't insist on paying for some or for the tip etc. instead buy some tickets to an event as a surprise or get him a gift, get something that both of you can share. If you don't like it let him move on to a woman that does.

    0|0
    0|0
  • its ok but you could just pay sometime yourself like if he goes to the loo just go settle your bill while he is gone

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's ok if he's ok with it and you are also. I personally believe it should be split 50/50 but to each his/her own.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If it really bugs you can always buy him a small gift to show your appreciation. By small i mean low in price.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Totally okay

    2|0
    0|0
  • He can do what he wants, but he better be rich xD

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't see why not. If he wants to pay and it doesn't bother you then let it be.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I always pay. ALWAYS! No discussion.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He's a true gentlemen. It's okay. I would recommend you be more assertive on trying to pay the bill or split the bill arbitration least. He will appreciate it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • As long as you genuinely offer to pay every date, you can't force him. Personally i want the girl to pay for herself (50/50 type deal) but maybe he is old fashioned.

    0|1
    1|0
    • 1mo

      so if you like a girl, you wouldn't want to treat her and take care of her?

    • 1mo

      Not in that way, i want a girlfriend not a prostitute.

  • Someday these types need to be bailed out, so SAVE your money, it might not be cheap

    0|0
    0|0
  • if it makes you feel bad, you should talk to him about it. but usually i don´t think it´s a badthing, if somebody likes to invite you a lot xD

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe next time you can set up the date and you pay for the both of you. Usually the one who ask out the other person pays but its not a big deal either way

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not okay, you should show him that you can take care of yourself too. That your love can't be bought

    0|0
    0|0
  • He said it because you're a boring texter, but awesome in real life. Don't read into it any more than that

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's ok

    1|0
    0|0
  • Women that are smart know not to do that. He will certainly feel you owe him eventually

    0|1
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Like how so?

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      @tyber1 you mean sexual favors or just self entitlement?

    • 1mo

      When someone develops feelings for you and you indulge those feelings they will feel like you belong together. And taking advantage of them will just make them feel used. So they will feel like they were entitled to something and cheated. Emotions at work, not logic.

  • I think it's fine. The question do YOU think it's fine.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Apparently, he doesn't mind paying. You can talk to him about it if it makes your uncomfy.

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's only not ok if you want to pay and he won't let you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I pay for every date. Pretty much for the entire of the relationship. I don't work for fun.

    1|0
    0|0
  • If it's ok with him wearing the pants

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    24

What Girls Said 40

  • Hey, he's offering so its okay. But I will say to always be mindful that he can always change his mind. So if this is the promise he is making, hold him to it. But if doesn't keep to that promise, then its either make or break. Nobody can tell you how you two should date. However, if you two are okay with this then fine. Its how your relationship rolls. But you should offer to pay once in a while. It really all depends on what your goals are for the relationship. Wither it lead to marriage or not. So make sure you figure all of that out now, before you continue.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's ok , but personally, I'd feel guilty if a guy paid EVERY TIME. I'd feel as though I was taking advantage of his kindness. That's just the way I am though

    I'd insist that I pay the next time if he paid the previous time. It's only fair. If he felt uncomfortable with that , then after our meal I'd take the initiative and" foot the bill "before he could. It may make him feel uncomfortable , but I'd also be in an uncomfortable position by him paying every time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's OK if he always wants to pay. What would be not OK is if YOU always insist on HIM paying. However, if it bothers you, maybe you could offer to pay some time. Tell him sweetly that you appreciate his spoiling you but you are self-sufficient too and would like to return the favor.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sometimes if a guy really cares for you, that's his way of showing it. Or maybe he's just old school. If he wanting to pay for the dates, then let him. He's an adult and can make his own financial and moral decisions.

    My boyfriend insists on paying for all of our dates. But he does get really happy when I give hhi gifts and stuff.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I guess it's okay if that's what he wants to do. But make sure he knows that you are okay with paying sometimes too.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No it's not, he's probably gonna use it against you some time in the future. Men NEVER do that stuff and not expect anything in return.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Its ok to pitch in every now and then. Usually if he insists on paying on the first date, I pay on the next date and vise versa, I will feel guilty if he pays every time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No put your foot down sometime and insist you'll pay. Good practice for down the road in your relationship.

    0|4
    1|0
  • Try paying half the tab sometimes. Some guys manipulate girls like that. I knew a guy that would buy me stuff all the time even though I told him no several times then in the end he used it against me by saying how he always bought me things and how I was ungrateful bitch.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its fine
    As long as he doesn't think you owe him anything. Some guys think that buying us stuff is license to get in our pants because we "owe" them.

    If he can do it without holding it over your head then who cares. Just let him do it

    0|0
    0|0
  • A bit strange... because no one does that anymore... But you do and go along with what you consider is fine for you. i'd be a bit sceptical.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Irs okay if he okay with that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't see anything bad about that, but I would feel bad and keep offering to pay or give him small gifts here and there (that's if the feeling was mutual of course)

    0|0
    0|1
  • It's totes ok, buttt try to offer to pay once and a while or go dutch eventually. He's just being a gent you lucky girl😊

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's hot.

    1|1
    1|1
  • If he wants to, let him. As long as he ain't stealing or going broke. Still, do something nice for him once in a while..

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you feel bad just let him know
    That's what I did with my boyfriend we went out to dinner and I ordered something and it was pretty pricey ( I didn't know because I just saw something that sounded good and told him to order it for me while I use the bathroom and I didn't check for the price ) . So I offered to pay for mines but he said that it's okay.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If he wants to sure. Otherwise no

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would then insist on getting the tip.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If he's okay with it it's okay, but offer to pay or grab the bill before he can. Either way it's cool that he wants to pay each time. Treat him well.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I think it's fine.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's totally fine. You should insist on paying every once in a while or reciprocate in some other way.

    0|0
    0|0
  • So basically you're cheating on your boyfriend with this dude cause he buys you free food... yeah good for you then

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      lol there is more than 1!

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      more than 1 guy, not cheating just exploring

    • 1mo

      You said you have a boyfriend. And going out with this other man is cheating boo boo. Don't act like that's exploring, that's cheating on your boyfriend clearly

  • HELL YEAH ahahahahhaah *evil laugh*

    But for real though I have been in this situation. You tend to feel like a hooker after a while. I offer once in a while. But he can pay 90% of the time. ;)

    0|0
    0|1
  • My boyfriend is the same way. I let him do it but I always offer to pay and if he buys dinner I'll surprise him with dessert.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah it is

    0|0
    0|0
  • Depends if he's a man ;)

    0|0
    0|0
  • I always offer to pay for myself but like if he insists, I'm not gonna refuse you know :D

    0|0
    0|0
  • yeah. he's probably a traditional guy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • if you both agreed, sure. its really what you two decide.

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Girls
    10
Loading...