Keep in mind that my girlfriend and I live about 40 miles away from each other so we mainly text. My girlfriend has been stressed at work recently. She has been telling me about her stress and I’ve listened and given her my thoughts/suggestions. The other day she was particularly frustrated and was texting me at work about it. I texted back and forth with her during the day when I had time. I got back home from work and sent her a quick snapchat and immediately started working on replacing a simple part in my car (she’s aware that I have car problems right now). I didn’t tell her that I was working on my car and it took longer than I expected (about 1 hour). I wasn’t able to respond back to her text that she sent me right after my snapchat. Her text after my snapchat read “have you voted yet?"
After finishing with my car I noticed that the tone of her texts were different. I asked her something related to her frustration at work, but she didn’t reply to it. I figured she was too frustrated to talk about it so I didn’t pursue the conversation. She tells me the next day that she was upset that I left without saying anything for the 1 hour and said that I didn’t care about her feelings. She also said I wasn’t supportive and wasn’t there for her when she needed me because she thought we would talk more about her frustrations after I got back from work. I apologized for not being there for her, but I told her that I do care and that I’ve been there in the past. She believes that I haven’t. On top of that, she tells me that I don’t need to worry about her problems anymore and that she’ll deal with them on her own. We had planned to watch a movie on the weekend, but she no longer wants to see it and would rather just stay at home.
I don’t think I did anything wrong. At the very least, I don’t think that I deserve this sort of treatment. She’s being very stubborn and I just don’t know what to say/do at this point.
Suggestions / comments?
Girlfriend is overly upset. What do I say?
What Girls Said 1
Simple suggestion, right or wrong she feels like she is not getting your support or attention. Not saying she was right to behave the way she did, but she does legitimately feel that way. Since you guys live so far away, either find a way to see her more often... or instead of texting, give her a call and that way you and her have eachothers undivided attention. Texting is not always the best means of communication and shouldn't be used for convenience sake to replace a good face to face or voice conversation. Calling her and speaking to her directly says... you are important enough to me to gain my attention and i want to hear what you have to say. If she doesn't want to do that then i say the problem is her. Though you didn't mean it, what you told her was fixing my car is more important to me than you are. Had you just taken 10 or 15 minutes to talk to her an a day when she was particularly frustrated could actually have reinforced your relationship with her.0
What Guys Said 2
Dude, pick up a book called "the way of the superior man" by David Deida. I don't care if reading isn't your thing but what he talks about in there will save your relationship.
#1 thing I noticed: She needs LOVE, AFFECTION and COMFORT. She doesn't need a solution to her problems - she needs emotional support. Of course you don't have to make her your number one priority in life all the time. Just dedicate some time to just talk to her for a while. Give her all your attention during that time.. Then continue doing your own thing.
Also, here's a quote from the book: "The feminine's moods and opinions are like weather patterns. They are constantly changing, severe and gentle, and they have no single source. No analysis will work. There is no linear chainof cause and effect that can lead to the kernel of the "problem." There is no problem, only a storm, a breeze, a sudden change in weather. And the bases of these storms are the high and low pressure systems of love. When a woman feels love flowing deeply, her mood can instantly evaporate inte joy, regardless of the supposed reason for the mood."0
Hmm she does sound stressed and when you are stressed you bunch up, and shut off. She shouldn't need that, get your car fixed and give her a good dickin0
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