Did you wait until you met to "define" the relationship?

Talking to those who are in or have been in long distance relationships that STARTED long distance.

Currently in this situation. And I feel like he's waiting until he flies me down to see him next month to make anything "official" even if neither of us are entertaining anyone else currently.

Like we'll send each other "memes" about being a boyfriend or girlfriend but we've never like officially talked about it.

We've talked a lot about future plans and it's always "us/we" so I don't know.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't think labels the terms will naturally evolve, when it feels right you will feel comfortable using the term GF/BF - Take a step back and think about when you meet someone and click becoming friends, is it 37 minutes into your 4th conversation that you say that you are friends, no just one day you start talking about that person as your "Friend" - It is the same with relationships.

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    • 1mo

      We have no issue referring to each other as such when we're talking to one another but we don't like publicly announce it.

      Or rather I don't because he doesn't. Because we haven't talked about it so I don't know where he sits on the matter.

      When I mentioned we never discussed it he just said "yeah I know".

    • 1mo

      That will come in time once he gets used to it - Sometimes us guys are a bit slow on uptake about things like this, we are "It just happens" type of people.

Most Helpful Girl

  • My boyfriend and I didn't start or at any point have to be long-distance but.. we did still DTR. We went through the whole thing of referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend indirectly, the 'we' and 'us' business. I still felt like sitting down and making it clear that we're both cool with being exclusive and have similar long-term goals in respect to the relationship was super important before I let myself get any more emotionally invested, though. Which I'm happy about having done, and think it's something that would be especially important if you're in a LDR.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I never found the point in LDR. You'll hardly ever see him.

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  • Yeah I guess it's easier in person.

    Can u help me out on a question?

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What Girls Said 11

  • In my opnion there should be urgent need to define any relationship. You have to let it unfold, enjoy the moment and trust how it feels when you are interacting.
    People put too much importance on the title. If it feels amazing, if you love each other's company, then who cares about definitions.
    The best relationships happen when you let the love unfold without expectations.
    Wether it's friends with benefits, long distance, short distance, serious, not really... same logic applies.
    I guess advice to you is to "let it be" and enjoy :)

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  • Maybe you both want to make sure you actually go through with meeting and make sure it goes well when u meet before making it official , also its hard to make it official when you're not there phisically with eachother and you have to be able to trust eachother

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  • Yes, I waited.
    I'm in a long distance relationship now. But you guys have to meet up and see if your feelings are true and mutual and that you can connect with one another, which can't happen over the phone or internet.

    For me it was when he kissed me that I felt like yes I want this to be a relationship and it's real, when as before everything was based on my imagination.

    You can't think yourselves into relationship, in my opinion at some point there needs to be a physical connection where it's based off a real mutual connection rather than your imaginations because otherwise things start to become unclear and go wrong.

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  • Been there done that, he had convinced me to not wait and just be his girlfriend over the distance. It made things very hard honestly and I'd much rather have met him in person first, things are almost always different offline.

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  • absolutely! 100% he's not your boyfriend until you meet at the very least
    but more realistically dont define it until the visit is over. After you've spent time together

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  • I think meeting is very important, that way you can define the relationship. As of now it can just be defined as online/over the phone and although two people can truly care about each other this way, you don't know if you can care for each other in person fully until you meet in person.

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  • He probably wants to spend actual time with you before he sets anything in stone. People are sometimes different in person than they are online. He sounds like he's somewhat smart. He may met you and realize he doesn't like you in that way or vice versa.

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    • 1mo

      I mean we've already told each other we love each other 😂 We talk on the phone and FaceTimed, which is as true to my real life personality as it gets. but yeah I get it.

  • I did. He didn't. Lmao. When we met the first time he was all like I love you. (previous dude)

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  • my boyfriend called me his "girlfriend" even before we met. but we became official after that and made our anniversary after that as well.

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  • I'm in an LDR and the term boyfriend/girlfriend just came naturally months before we meet.

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  • I was with my long distance boyfriend for nearly 2 months before we made it official even though it was quite clearly official from the start. I think he just wanted the right moment when we were together to ask :)

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