How do you know if they're "the one"?

About nine months ago, after meeting this guy at a party, I went on three dates with him. He was... amazing. He was everything I'd wanted and didn't know I wanted in a man, the sexual tension/chemistry between us was amazing (yes, I hooked up with him, though we didn't go "all the way"), and we had a mutual friend who vouched for him as a good person. I've dated before and not found a man like him.

Unfortunately, he decided that I wasn't "the one" for him and broke it off with me. Since then, I've gone on dates, met guys I liked, even hooked up with one. Still, occasionally, I return to thoughts about this guy and what a full life with him would be like. I know this is crazy, and I know that I'll never see him again.

I thought I would always know if I met "the one," but now I don't know. Clearly he's not "the one" or we'd be together. What "signs" or "criteria" do you use to know that the person you're with is the one for you? And for those of you who've found your "one," how long did you have to date them before you knew? Was it instant or did it take a while?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think that The One is your partner for life and, for me, that would mean marriage. Last year, I wrote a myTake about "who should you marry" and I think it gives a good summary of my answer to your question:

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10762-who-should-you-marry

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  • I know I'm nitpicking, but I really hate when people say shit like "the one"... just say a person you wanna marry or some shit 😑

    Anyways, you know when they have shit that would otherwise annoy the shit out of you if it were literally anyone else but that person

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What Girls Said 1

  • Not sure how to know if somebody is "the one", but I have a story about two people that were meant for each other.

    Girl drives with her friend to visit the friends mom in the next state over. They went to a party in that small town, and she was introduced to this guy, and they both had an "ah-ha moment" as if they already knew each other. They hit it off, but knew they wouldn't meet again. She went back home and had him in the back of her mind, thinking about what they would be like together. A year later she went with her friend again to see the mom, and when they got to the town, driving down the main street she saw him on the sidewalk, and at the same moment he looked up and saw her. They turned the car around.

    If you are still reading, that is how my parents met, and they will be celebrating their 25th anniversary in June. ☺️
    Sometimes, shit happens and if it's meant to be, it's meant to be If this guy comes back around, go for it!! All you can do is try.

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