How come guys hardly ever approach me?

Random people and my friends tell me I'm pretty all the time. I dress nice and put effort into my look everyday. I surround myself with friends, I'm sweet, friendly and I have a fun personality but guys never approach me. I've been single all my life and I'm ready to start dating but it's not happening. Please tell me what I'm doing wrong!!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. If you're surrounded by friends, guys will be much less willing to approach. Most guys can and will approach lone girls who look like open to approaches. I don't bother putting in the effort on girls in a group. Why bother? It takes more effort and nets sooo much less success.

    2. Make sure you're places where guys would approach. Sociable places.

    3. Make eye contact. Smile. be approachable.

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    • 1mo

      Yeah, I always wonder why girls hang out in groups of ten and wonder why no one approaches them.

    • 1mo

      @zagor What's even more ironic is when they aren't very attractive and they hang out in groups constantly, then expect to be approached. It's like, seriously? Sex with you is not worth the effort haha

Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly there can be a lot of reasons. Maybe it's just that you're always with friends. It's intimidating. Do you give them a look when a guy seems interested. Maybe when you're out with some friends you can ask one of them to help you approach a guy.

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    • 1mo

      Not a lot of guys would had admit this but it can be very intimating asking a very attractive girl out on a date especially if she is with her friends and their good looking too - if notices a guy looking at her checking then maybe the best thing for her to do is smile at him

    • 1mo

      I can agree with you. I know really shy when I see an attractive guy especially if he's around his friends. It's intimidating. It sucks that us girls assume the guy should approach us. I mean it would make things easier but that's nerve wrecking. The problem I have is, if I see a cute guy, I avoid eye contact and not look in his direction. I know that's the opposite of what u should do ahah. But yeah if u see a guy looking at you then look at him and smile

    • 1mo

      Yeah what's worse if the girl is always with her friends and when they walk past you their looking at you go all red and nervous and arkward its suck for both guys and girls when it comes to likening someone especially if your shy I recently asked a girl out she was in a relationship but I don't regret asking her sometimes that's better then not doing anything at all better it's hard I wish there was easier ways for people to deal with this stuff

What Guys Said 17

  • Being pretty and being approachable are very different factors. I myself can turn that switch on and off at will.

    Smiling is a big invite. If you have a chance to spark a conversation do so and don't give up if the guy seems shy. Women are a very defensive species because there are a lot of weirdos out there. As men we want to know its safe to go in without you feeling nervous about our intentions.

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  • Welcome to a guy's world... this happens to almost EVERY guy so my advice would be do what we do.. aproach them instead flirt a bit put on some game and ask him out guy's like that , just as you would like someone to aproach you too, if you are a shy girl just work on your confidence and work on your game, you might fuck up a bit at the start but you will get there.

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  • Just thought maybe guys find you very attractive and think your out of their league If people tell you your pretty then I am sure you would get plenty of dates in no time

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  • I think your problem is simple, your not actually putting in effort to find one, simple as that, ya guys should approach you, but guys are like dogs, gotta put your hand out so they can get to know you.

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  • More than likely they either think you're taken or you're out of their league. You've gotta show them that you're neither. As for how you do that, I don't know. I'm not a pretty woman.

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  • "I surround myself with friends," that's the problem. It's much easier to approach a girl who's alone because you don't have to worry about breaking into a conversation, or embarrassing yourself in front of other people.

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  • perhaps trying too hard?

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  • People tell me i am pretty i also have said qualities therefore guys MUST approach me.

    Thats not how dating works. You must invest in social life a lot to be able to date someone.

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  • Start approaching yourself.

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  • how do you look like?

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  • Ego?

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  • You're ugly.

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  • " I surround myself with friends"

    There you go. Guys are not going to ask you out in front of a bunch of people.

    If you see a guy you want to approach you make eye contact with him. Hold the eye contact smile and give a little wave to him.

    Or you know... ask him out yourself. But we both know you're not going to do that.

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  • Probably most of the guys around you assume since you are pretty, you only go for good looking guys, by the way, what kind of guy would you go out with?

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    • 1mo

      I don't really discriminate. I like nice guys who have a great sense of humor and dress nice. They don't have to be flashy but I think they should care about their appearance. I'm big on personality. If he has a great personality and I can have a nice, stimulating convo with him then that sparks a lot of attraction for me.

  • It's your looks probably.

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  • I used to approach women all of the time until one day, even despite success, I realised that the juice just was not worth the squeeze.

    Maybe more guys are starting to realize this. After all, I've met hundreds of women and I can't even think of one single genuinely interesting conversation or something new they have talked about. ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.

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What Girls Said 2

  • "I've been single all my life and I'm ready to start dating but it's not happening."
    -Then ask men out yourself.

    "Please tell me what I'm doing wrong!!"
    -You're not asking men out.

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  • Seems to be more of a problem today. Guys just not interested in asking girls out... hmmm, i wonder what caused that

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