How do you handle being single?

I'm a huge hopeless romantic and I'm completely and utterly single. In school, couples are literally suffocating me and my friends have gotten into relationships, and I've wanted a relationship for a long time now. Today I just watched this cute couple who sits near me for half the lunch period because I was so jealous.
So, how do you deal with being single? And how do you stop being single? Advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay truthfully 90% of high school relationships don't go anywhere, another words don't get jealous of the couples around you. Their experiencing puppy love.
    You need to get involved with hobbies. Focus on your academics, prepare for college. Another thing, if you play an instrument or in art or etc... become the best at it then apply for scholarships you will go far.
    One more thing begin a diary write your thoughts, ideas on a paper. You will look back a year or two from now and see how much you matured.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Trust me, I'm going through the exact same thing! Been there done that and doing it now! It's really tough on your self esteem because you're left alone thinking "well, am I just not good enough?" That's not the case! In our current society people will date whether they truly like the person or not just to show that they aren't single. Most relationships don't have deeper meanings! Yes, people will hold hands and kiss because they think that's what they're supposed to do, but there's usually nothing much deeper behind it. People like you and me take relationships more seriously and we're naturally more conserved, so it's harder for us to find someone and vice versa. It doesn't mean that we're unlovable or anything!! We're just taking our time in finding the right one! You're perfectly fine! You're also not the only one going through this same exact thing! There's so many people around you in the exact same position and feeling the exact same way! You're not alone! So don't feel badly about it, you just have more respect for yourself by not throwing yourself from relationship to relationship :)

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What Guys Said 76

  • I stop caring about it altogether. I remind myself that no relationship is ever guaranteed to last anyway and people can and will change over the course of their lifetime. To me, it's all a complete lie and a bunch if delusions and illusions coming from the hormones and chemicals within our brains and bodies. Eventually those feelings are going to fade away completely. I learned to look on the bright side. By choosing to remain indefinitely single for life I will never have to deal with breakups since I have no one, I have no one to lose. Never have to deal with the dramas like possible cheating in relationships and blah blah, can't ever be cheated on by someone else, nor could I ever be accused of cheating on anyone else.

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    • 1mo

      I agree with the comment and feel the exact same way about relationships. Its no guarantee that it will last. And I dont have to deal with a heartbreak or stress in the event that it doesn't last. Then there are obligations of dates, phone calls, texting and sometimes just not in mood to be doing all that. So I definitely can understand where you are coming from.

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    • 1mo

      @SinghSong

      Well I know I don't want children, I rather they never come into existence to this kind of a world, as I believe that ultimately the bad that comes with this world will outweigh the good. Suffering and pain is essential to meaning, and then it comes down to whether someone is willing to endure through it or not, but if they had never existed and wasn't born, then they don't have to choose between to endure through it, or to give up and not endure through it. Believe me, there are many unhappy people in this world and they take their own lives all the time.

      And even beauty is in the eye of the beholder, entirely subjective. If anything such as beauty mattered, then it's only because we desire it, or want it to matter or felt that it mattered to any of us in the first place.

      Concepts like beauty are filtered through are sense perception and cognition. Without a thing to witness the "beauty of a flower" it couldn't be characterized as beautiful without an observer.

    • 1mo

      So then, if you yourself hold that attitude, why haven't you taken your own life yet? Why still suffer the torment of your continued existence when you can end it?

  • It's the sorrow of beingetting young. Your emotions rage and you don't know which was is up. The sad truth is you're not going to have a clue what real love is unail you're in your thirties and experienced loss, rejection, true sacrifice, pain, and longing for years.

    Stop worrying about it. It'll all work out so long as you do not squander your innocence on anyone who shows you the slightest affection.

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  • Pray. Keep on good terms with family if possible. And be ready for a rough ride anyway. Be careful not to fall for someone just because you feel sorry for them. They may turn out to deserve neither from you.

    I've discovered that even those who like to tout themselves as being highly religious will still be capable of being substance abusers, marriage haters, gold diggers, cheaters, manipulators, of joining gangs, of throwing you under the bus for stupid reasons, of joining racist cults and then ditching you so you can't argue with them, of sabotaging your work for shitty reasons, using you, selling you out to your unknown haters, etc. Sometimes, even singleness is better. That way, they have to dagger you from the front.

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  • Don't be in a rush darling. They are overrated and annoying and if you are a romantic, you probably like those "happy ending" stories. damned near ALL of real life relationships don't end like that. Look at me.. I've been single (by choice) for 3 years.. and i have to tell you, its been drama free. Trust me, you don't Need a relationship.
    Start with a friend. a REAL friend.

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    • 1mo

      Says ur under 18 so this may not qualify, but to handle being single..."fuck a lot"...

  • Stop thinking so much about others and how their life is going compared to yours. Live happy, enjoy every moment while you can, get closer with your friends-especially male ones, have some faith, and let nature take you through its path. Don't force yourself to try to date someone cause that is unnatural and nothing will work out for you in the end. Try to find out who you really are as a person. Find your hobbies, interest, clothes style, hair style, etc and become your true self so you can find a guy that is a perfect match for you! Never go into the negative world where you question your self and if you are ugly or not because that does lots of harm and ZERO good!

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  • Being single isn't bad its actually better in my opinion. The pros of being single out ways the cons of being single. You shouldn't be jealous because, those couples you see probably will breakup and their hearts will be broken. You know you seem eager for a relationship. But why? You know, there are some good guys in this world but there's always more bad guys. You don't want to date a bad guy and get your heart broken because, that will be even worse then being single. You can't get into a relationship in my eyes unless you find someone you want to be with and makes you happy. "The right person for you comes along while you're improving yourself not while you're looking for them"

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  • Dealing with being single?

    I would say that really depends on the person, the motivation the person has to stay single, the mental strength of a person and so on. It's subjective actually.

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  • You either might get happiness being in a relationship or end up feeling a lone in a relationship but don't stop looking and don't get into the thinking of your always going to be single tomorrow does not exist yet all it takes is to meet that one person but their is no harm in being single

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  • Im fine with being single since i dont want a relationship at this age , and i have a lot of trust issues on other people and my capabilities of being loyal so yeah, relationships are not my thing. How do you handle being ALONE that would be a great question doe.

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  • Learn to be single, once you have learned that. Then you will be ready for relationship. Otherwise you have really bad mentality for any kind of relationship.

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  • Just realize that what you are feeling is peer pressure. There is no need to jump in to anything if you're not ready or if you're not in a hurry. Everything will come with time.

    Hopefully.

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  • I like being single, I don't enjoy being dependent on other people's emotional reciprocity.

    Also, what is life without death? love without hate? joy without sadness?
    They're nothing. Enjoy being single for a year or three, and then when you do get a relationship, it'll make you even happier, when you contrast it to the years you were single.

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  • Before I felt that I should seek a relationship, I decided that I needed to know how to be content on my own. I have learned this.

    To date, just meet people. Mingle and such, you'll run into guys who are attracted to ya. Then understand them and their motivations so you know if you can trust them.

    The dating part should be fun though, and not too serious. That's when you get to know each other. So if ya date someone and then break up, don't treat it as a bad thing. Since it's just the trial and error part of finding someone.

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  • You wank

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  • I'm also a hopeless romantic, and have been utterly single my entire life, but I'm a graduate. Because of my epilepsy though, I can't yet look offline for women because I'm in the protective custody of my parents home... I typically just play games or sleep.

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    • 1mo

      Well, hello. That sounds crazy familiar...

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    • 1mo

      @SinghSong Wow. Any advice?

    • 1mo

      Diversify your pastimes and activities? Other than that, I'm still in the same situation now, so I can't be much help.

  • I'm a romantic too, but I like being single cause I can be with whoever I want, whenever I want, and do whatever I want.
    Until I find the right girl to date, I enjoy my single days.

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  • Some days it hits you hard and you hate being single, then some days you're like "Thank god I'm single!" It just comes and goes, at least it does for me. If you don't want to be single, I'd say as a Girl it's easier to be not single than it is for guys.

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  • I've never renew in a relationship, it's not that hard. I've never dated either so you just go with the flow. If a relationship happens, great, if not don't fret

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  • yeah tell me about it. Just focus on you and do what you enjoy.

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  • I think about all the troubles couples face and thank God that isn't me. I prefer not to be in drama and being in a relationship would do just that. Being in a relationship isn't necessarily all that great. i'm just happy that I have the freedom to do whatever I want.

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  • I've been single for like my whole life and the only thing I've learned so far is that you may not take the first chance to get into a relationship. You'd better wait until you think you have found the one who suits you perfectly and takes you for who you are. Also never adapt yourself, always be your own.

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  • Find your Christian Grey and rub it in their faces.

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  • I'be learned something over he years. Its nice to be in a relationship but you do appreciate being single more when you have moved on romantic your last ex.

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  • Hopeless Romantic and being single sucks. I just try to enjoy the hobbies I like and keep my mind busy.

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  • Hun, we can't be jealous of a couple together. Be happy for them and the
    right guy will come into your life. The same way i feel about myself.
    Hey you know jealousy is the root of all evil. We can't have a evil heart
    we must have a loving heart and be grateful for those couples you see.

    Best Wishes

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  • I can't that's why I'm insane.

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  • Oh it's great. Stay up late at night watching anime, adventure time or even spongebob. Doing exercises and Bing eating zebra cakes. I have no problem Bing eating for I'm only a 6 foot 130 guy. Sometimes I break into a sobbing vagina when I drink. It reminds of how lonely I am. It's the best! 😂🔫

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  • Honesrly, it's better to be single than in shitty relationship. Rather use your single time to further your relationship with yourself, you will be thankfull for that once you get in relstionship. Do as many hobbies as you can, and do your best to meet yourself. Somewhere in this process you will meet the right man and will know that because you will know yourself.

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  • Well you're still young and you will find someone if you're willing to be in a relationship. Work on your outward personality and smiling character and always show your self glowing from the inside out. The further away from home you look , the better your chance will be.

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  • You just deal with it i rely on myself I don't have to wait around and rely on others

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What Girls Said 36

  • I assume you're in high school, which means the relationships you're witnessing will usually not last more than a month. Just that alone prevents me from being jealous of the relationships within my age group. If it helps, I'm a senior in high school who has yet to date. Friends have pressured, but I don't want to date just to say I have a boyfriend, which is the motivation behind the majority of those high school relationships. Wait until you meet a guy you really like, then you can amaze your friends when your first relationship lasts longer than theirs, even if it's a while before you meet them. But seriously, please don't jump into a relationship for the sake of having one. You could end up hurting people that way, and you won't really be happy unless you truly like the person you're with.

    To help your chances, I recommend getting involved with clubs inside and outside school, specific to your interests. Also, try to hang around your friends and their boyfriends because you might be introduced to their boyfriends' guy friends. Just don't ask them to set you up because blind dates are not ideal in high school.

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    • 1mo

      Also, I agree with some of the others on here. You need to learn to be happy single so that you don't use a relationship as a sole source of happiness. Use that single time to work on yourself as a person. Work on your passions and interests alone, and really think about what you want in a relationship so that when you are ready, you aren't settling, and can be in a long lasting, healthy relationship.

  • It can suck sometimes being single. I think the key to being a happy single person or at least being able to manage singledom, is to keep busy. Keep yourself preoccupied with friends and events and just meet new people.

    I totally know how you feel because I am that way myself. I've just gotten to the point of realizing that yes, being single can be tough. But it's far better than being in the wrong relationship. I've seen so many people who are so happy turn into super unhappy individuals when their relationships go downhill. While you are single, you only have to worry about yourself.

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  • Well, after high school lets see if they are still together. Dont pay what goes on in high school any attention. Usually high school relationships dont last. Everyone wants the feeling of being in love and feeling wanted. But its something that you shouldn't rush into just because everyone else is doing it. You may end up falling for a guy that treats you horribly.

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  • I'm a very independent person so being single isn't an issue for me. Although, it's nice to share quality time with a guy I care about, and who cares about me .. I don't fall apart if a relationships ends.

    People come and go in your life, so it's not wise to place your happiness in someone else's hands, because once they are gone so is your happiness. People who come into your life should only enrich your life, and only add to your existing happiness.

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  • Just know that you will be fine, all their "experience" doesn't mean anything in the future for them if they don't "learn" from them.
    While you are single, focus on making yourself a better person. Just focus on reading self help books and making lasting friendships with guys and girls.

    My sister was always in a relationship once she was 13-14 years old.
    Do you know where that got her?
    I met a few girls who were the same, not that all of them are like this but they had boyfriends for years and I never had.

    I am now married, 90% of them who were in a relationship are divorced, or single or having problems with life (single parents, ex won't pay child support or other issues).

    I worked on myself, I figured out what I wanted out of life and I got it at an older age of 24.

    That's what you need to be focused on. What you really want your character to be like, what you want your spouses to be like.

    Work on that, you have time. You're under 18. Don't rush it. You'll know when the time comes, when you have your college degree or your full time job and your own place. When you know how to take care of yourself and love yourself. Know that before starting a relationship.

    there's more to life than a relationship.

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  • I'm also a hopeless romantic, but single and not complaining. Love will come when the time is right so don't worry. Focus on making sure you're the best you that you can be so when you get into a relationship you have lots to offer... Also remember when you relax and stop worrying about it, it will happen.

    Remaining as you are now; longing for a relationship, makes you vulnerable because you would be more likely to latch on to the first guy that comes instead of being able to rationalize on who you are compatible with. I hope you understand what I'm saying

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  • think of the plus sides
    *you can do whatever you want
    *you are not limited by someone else's schedule
    *you can flirt all you want and no one will get on your case
    *you can use the "me time" for improving yourself so you can get the best boyfriend

    everything on the other side is not always rosy. remember that. most important, you must be happy with yourself before you can be with someone else.

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  • How do I handle? I really like being single at that stage of my life, I mean I wouldn't reject a guy If I liked him very much just I am quite busy with my life right now.

    That's how I handle it, I have many guys around me, I don't feel lack of attention from men, I have friends with whom I can spend my time happily, I love them and they love me.
    If I have a free time, I try to spend it doing my favourite activities, for example this week I am gonna go on karting and airsoft. Wohoo I am so happy!

    I have goals that need hard-working and concentration and when I am in love or when I like someone very much, gosh, I just think about them in every situation.
    I don't really want some guys to pop in my mind during doing my things.

    I like being free like a bird, that's how I do it and I enjoy my life very much.

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  • Why do people think like this? People with this mindset don't need relationships at all. Also you're a child, worry about school and becoming a good person. You've got like 70 years to worry about relationships.

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  • I was single for the longest time, I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 18. I dated him for almost two years and now I'm single again. Honestly, I'm happier now that I'm single than when I wasn't.
    The best advice I can give you is to focus on your passions and cultivate new ones. It will help take your mind off of your loneliness and possibly allow to create new friendships that would enrich your life. If you are lucky, maybe then maybe friendships will blossom into something more and that's how you will find yourself someone special.

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  • It's not that hard lol
    Just focus on yourself.
    You are very young.
    You have much more to do now than be with some guy, tbh
    Develop your character, develop good habits, learn the importance of family by being with your family/focusing /spending time with them, and so on.

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  • If you go on dates here and there like I do, it's actually not hard. Don't take your love life so seriously - it's less stressful that way. However, if there's someone you like, you should definitely pursue them.

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  • Once you're in a relationship you're going to miss being single XD

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  • well i love being single, you don't spend money on ANYONE. you don't have to worry about impressing or looking good for anyone and your basically not like most people

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  • Well I always thought being single was fun, especially when you develop a crush on someone because then you have to see if they like you while trying to hide the fact you like them and there's always moments when your heart beats really really fast.

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  • Not well

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    • 1mo

      How come?

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    • 1mo

      Allow yourself to be vulnerable to the next man you meet and if he wants to make you happy then he's a keeper

    • 1mo

      @cchris987 I hope i'll meet someone soon. If he will be a nice man, then I will definitely do anything to make our relationship work.
      Why does a girl like me, who will do anything to make the man she loves happy, have such a bad luck in relationships?

  • It's way more fun being single and how to deal with jealousy just don't let it control you (they may e perfect in front of others but behind closed doors it's an entirely different story). And how to stop being single, well that's an obvious answer :-D

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  • Been single for years, for the longest I didn't even think about guys or a relationship. Just focused on me, I'm on my grind, school, gym, work, volunteering. Flirt around and stuff but I'm so busy, if something happens it happens, if not eh

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  • You enjoy it, relationships aren't always what they're cracked up to be. They're hard work. Think about it you are free to do whatever you want and flirt with whoever you want. Then when the time comes a relationship will come to you

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  • Dude I've been single for almost a year by choice. You've gotta learn to be content being single! I don't date a lot, not even before we broke up. Be confident with who you are, this is the time to get to know yourself, build better friendships/relationships. You'll be fine I promise ;) haha

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  • Lmao you need to find a hobby

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  • I've always been single so I'm just used to it.

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  • I've been single my whole life and in the beginning I wanted a relationship until I realised if I'm not the best me then me being in a relationship was worthless.

    So I say get to know yourself while your single so you can set standards for yourself while your dating and don't lose yourself in a relationship

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  • Stop complaining and do something about it. Currently you sound like more of an observer rather than someone who gets what they're looking for.

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  • By making male friends to fill that gap

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  • Same.

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  • find someone. get to know someone.

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  • I like to be left alone, that's about it

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  • I'm not single and my boyfriend is a complete lunatic. Be grateful.

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