When Girls Open Up to Me on the First Date- What to do?

I have had dates with a lot of gals who are beautiful and awesome but can't seem to get the next second date with them. The one thing they all have in common is they open up to me sharing one or multiple stories of their flaws or life struggles. Examples:, my smile is ugly, I hate the way my leg and knee cap looks (lol), their dad walked out on her family as a kid, they used to be shy and weird, or they have never had a real relationship before.

I believe this is a good sign that these gals feel comfortable with me to share their story but why? How should I handle such a loaded conversation on the first date with someone I don't even know? I usually listen but am quick to switch to a more up beat topic. Any suggestions?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you're doing it wrong personally. I would take the conversation. Show them that you can handle it, then make a very clam and relaxed transition to a more comfortable topic. Making extra certain to make her smile as you do.

    Getting an opportunity to display that level of depth at a first meeting is quite the prize. Might as well seize it. The real jewel of it all is of course being able to handle and swap effortlessly between heavy and lighthearted topics.
    And for crying out loud, don't forget to flirt.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • What you're doing is right. They shouldn't be talking about such heavy topics on a date. It just spreads negative energy and if you were to go along with it you'd kill your chances of being able to develop interest and sexual attraction. You're there for a date, not to be her counselors. To be honest if they're going to start doing that on a first date, that would be red flag to me, dating them could be a big drama.

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  • The moment you are their emotional tampon, is the moment you are friendzoned. A girl trying to impress you would NEVER point out her flaws on a first, second or even third date.

    Why they do it? Probably because you don't excite them enough for whatever reason. You're being too nice to them.

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