Not attracted to him physically?

I have been talking to this very awesome guy; his very sweet, romantic, affectionate and he makes me laugh and smile heaps! Although his very feminine I am attracted to his personality however Im not really attracted to his looks.. I feel so horrible for saying that but I've heard that some people fall for personality first then become attracted to them physically later. His such a cute, dorky quite guy and love that so much about him but at the same time I dont want to hurt him if I dont end up becoming physically attractive to him.. probably sound shallow as fk and want to roll over and cry about it but have no idea what I should do. His one of the very few guys I meet who actually treat me right; doesn't play me or use me but is upfront and honest and isn't afraid to be himself as well as accept my weird quirky behaviour as well
Feel like shit, what would you do in this situation?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do not feel bad, physical attraction is important is not everything but it is a lot, it just happens you can't change it, do not feel bad over something you can't control, just friendzone him, you are young at that age you shouldn't be looking to already settle down and shit , so even tho he sounds like a good person and maybe a bit too nice , its just part of your growth as a person, this is part of the process , once you have a guy wich is handsome and everything this guy is not, then you have the experience to decide what do you prefer, right now you want something that you dont have, but if this guy wasn't a good person but still handsome you would be wondering the opposite, " how would it be to have someone with a great personality", just move on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sometimes it helps seeing other women attracted to your guy. Him interacting with other females. Might wake some feelings of attraction in you, which you are currently unaware of because he seems "all over you". I know this has happened to me. I've lacked physical attraction to a guy until I realised other girls found him attractive. All of a sudden I realised his own unique handsome traits which were only enhanced by his incredible personality. xx

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    • 1mo

      Mm, if someone's desired by others it increases their status, but I think it's important not to let other people influence what you're attracted to. I've noticed that a lot with girls, one girl out of a group of friends in school started liking you and then suddenly the whole group did, to the point it caused a lot of drama. And even now, go to clubs, the number of girls who will look at me after they've seen me kiss one girl is crazy, if us guys saw a girl kissing a guy we'd assume they were together and have no interest in her.

    • 1mo

      @Kkaos Didn't say it was convenient or appropriate, just saying; that's how it works sometimes. It definitely is important not to let it get to your head, but nevertheless, in a situation like this; might help one out.

What Guys Said 10

  • It isn't his fault that he doesn't have a body that you are attracted to. Love is so much more about the person on the inside, rather then on the outside. I can understand where you might not be attracted to him now, but seeing as you are still young, puberty is a thing as well, and Ik for a fact that nobody even closely found me physically attractive before I was mostly through it. That said, hold on to him. He is giving you everything he can, be can't and shouldn't need to change his appearance to make him dating worthy. Now if he just doesn't try in terms of dressing or otherwise, that is a different story, but he soinds like an amazing guy. Keep trying. :)

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  • There is a place guys like this it's called the friendzone. If you aren't attracted to him you aren't attracted to him, not point in trying to force it. And honestly it's not fair to him. Would you want to be with a guy who deep down thinks you are ugly.

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  • Then just be his friend that's all you can do attraction is either their or not

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  • Just be friends with him, you don't need to date every single member of the opposite sex you get to know lol.

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    • 1mo

      Guys usually talk to me because their interested in me. So I see where things go but then later on when I dont feel anything for them I feel really bad and dont really know how to tell them Im not interested and I want to stay as friends

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    • 1mo

      Well first think you have to accept is that some guys won't want to stay as friends with you after getting rejected, not because they hate you or anything, but because it makes it easier for them to move on. I'm not saying that your friend is gonna be like that, but better to be at least prepared for the possibility.

      And you should be gentle but still honest enough, like don't say things like "I'm just not ready for a relationship" cause that might give him false hope that it might happen in the future. But you should tell him that you only see him as a friend, or that you don't think a relationship between you two would work out or something.

    • 1mo

      Okay thanks! And would understand why he wouldn't want to be friends; I occassionally cut off people so I can move on quicker so won't be upset if he doesn't want to :)

  • If you want to make it work, make it work. If his looks really bothers you, he still a friend. Still looks is nothing comparing to personality.

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  • welcome to being a normal girl. Now go date a guy who treats you like shit and complain about it to this great guy.

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  • there is no question here.. how exactly can we make you attracted to him?

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    • 1mo

      Sorry! I think the real question here Im asking is is it bad that I dont find him physically attractive; is it bad to date someone who your not physically attracted to?

  • If your not attracted to him it won't work better to stay friends

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  • You say you don't like him, and you say he is cute..

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    • 1mo

      I do like him and his definitely not the most manly man ever but he gets me and my weird behavior, which is hard to come by

  • Sounds like he would be better as your friend. Break up with him, and find someone you are attracted to.

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What Girls Said 0

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