Under any circumstance should you take an ex like this back if he's claimed he's changed?

i just want your opinion because i dont know what the general consensus is when it comes to this sort of stuff. Ok so weve been broken up almost 5 years now. he did some shitty things like curse at me when he was mad and didn't get his way, expected me to pay for pretty much everything (movie tix, show tix, gas, food), i bought him stuff like shirts and plushies and he never reciprocated and i took him out on several dates and he never took me out on one. he also hit me once in the face and yanked my hair and slept in bed with his ex and my best friend at the time. then when we broke up i found out he slept with his ex, asked out his friend and basically left me as his option. uhm i think i deserve better, we dated for 2 years and i understand sometimes people have the capacity to change but what do y'all think. is it worth even keeping someone like that as just a friend? i like dont even know anymore and im not going to care enough to make it a top priority bc whats the point in going gaga over a guy whos always putting his ex first? like because of him im jaded and dont trust men and i kind of prefer being alone bc its too much of a pain in the ass to date. i can't motivate myself to kiss or fuck anyone or to want to cohabitate with someone bc it scares me. and i feel like i dont need the bullshit. so should i allow him to hit me up and like if he was so bad to me why would he keep in contact? like i know i give more than i get in relationships but im tired. i want to be the bitchy witch for a change.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I would not. I would not even remain friends with this kind of X. I can partially empathize with your experiences because of the reasons I dumped X#2 (2015):
    1) She's NOT mother material, I don't want kids and can't talk her outta having 'em
    2) None of our mutual friends have her consent to know we even had a relationship, not even our most trusted mutual friend
    3) She said for the first month I was giving her the experience of a healthy relationship which she'd never had before, but when I couldn't contain the stress of hiding our relationship and buying everything she asked me to buy I ran away from her at program. From that point on she no longer felt that ours was the healthiest relationship she ever had. I knew I'd fail at giving her the experience of a healthy relationship, but she gave me more chances until I stopped taking them.
    4) She's too nocturnal and can't comprehend that just one night of low sleep ADVERSELY affects my mental status. I stay up until 4AM one night and if I do the same the very next night I start responding in ways she deemed wrong. She hasn't had a natural sleep schedule since high school.
    5) She feels that her current boyfriend won't give her the future she wants yet she just cheats on him instead of dumping him, getting over him and otherwise loving responsibly. She even told me not to look for another woman despite her already having someone.

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  • The things he needs to change on a part of his personality, not things like an addiction or something. Personalities don't change.

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