Why do men express their interest in me, but then out of the blue start to hard core avoid me?

Hello! This is a weird question , but I need advice! It's happened to me THREE TIMES THIS YEAR. First guy I met online, we hit it off great , went out on dates, and we even hang out regularly most weekends. Here's the thing, he tells me I'm his ideal woman, I'm fantastic , he adores me etc. but only wants to be friends? Second guy I found out had a huge crush on me for months, I liked him too but didn't think he was into black women. Well after a week of talking and hanging he tell me how amazing and cool I am, but he slowly starts drifting away. Eventually I questioned him and he confessed to only wanting to be friends. Third guy is a close guy friend, he told everyone and their mom how much he liked me for two whole years! But once we talked and laid out our feelings we decided to take it slow and see we're it goes. Well after a few times hanging out one on one he started avoiding me!! He told me I was wonderful but he wanted to get his life in order before a serious relationship. That's fine, I wasn't upset and still wanted to be his friend. Fast forward a few weeks until now he's talking to some girl and that's why he hasn't been hanging out with our group of friends! It's whatever, but what the hell? Is it me? I'm not clingy, im very independent with my own life, I'm kind and witty, goofy and passionate. People love being around me and I make friends easily. I just don't get why men don't want to date me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Something you said or did is waving a red flag at them. You might consider asking your friends to be blunt and honest with you if there's anything they notice like that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It might just mean they know you are relationship material and are not ready for one, find one that is ready and/or be just friends with one's who aren't or not friends if they aren't friend material. The right guy will come along, and kudos for wanting a valuable relationship.

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    • 1mo

      Thank you , and I'm trying! I'm taking a break completely from the dating scene. Too much disappointment this year so I'll try next year I guess.

    • 1mo

      I hope it goes good for you, you seem like a great person!

What Guys Said 4

  • It's the dating scene. Usually when men are looking for women we try to find multiple options. Odds are he found a girl he prefers over you.

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  • They might not want to seem needy, because women view that as a turn off

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    • 1mo

      This is true for some woman , but not me honestly.

    • 1mo

      They don't realize that though, because they don't know you too well so they may wonder

  • You might have an ugly personality

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    • 1mo

      lol I guess that's up to them, I feel I have a great personality but that's also just my opinion.

  • You showed that you lost interest?

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    • 1mo

      Im totally up front about my feelings, you'll never has to guess because I'm very lovey toward guys I like.

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    • 1mo

      I mean I don't do it with my other guy friends? If I like a men I'll ask them to hang out or go get coffee. Maybe touch their arms or hands, or just do things that show I'm interested.

    • 1mo

      Then he lost interest it happens.

What Girls Said 2

  • From what I read, it must be something about you... I've had a very similar problem myself. I realized that my problem is that I'm awkward and I turn guys on without realizing it, then immediately turn them off haha! So I'm working on my social skills and working on.. Well, it accidentally turning guys on 😂😅😅

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    • 1mo

      Must be! 😩😂 I love who I am and I know I can be a weirdo at times ( can't help it) so I'll just have to wait for someone to love me and my faults or just continue being alone for the rest of my life! Lol

    • 1mo

      Haha!! We're in the same boat sister!! I'm just much too quirky for most people to handle! 😋 But that's okay with me! I'll just wait for the right one to come along!

  • I've had a similar problem. I'm the girl before the one or the like a lot but not enough like to date.

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    • 1mo

      😂😂 yup, that's me alright. They usually find the girl they want to actually be with right after they friend zone me. Almost immediately sadly.

    • 1mo

      Please tell me if you have a break through! I have a vague theory that when my 10 year relationship ended, I was so hurt I never wanted to experience that again. Ever since I go for people that are unavailable emotionally so that it ends before it begins and I don't have to go through that pain again.

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