Why is he being so clingy if he isn't ready to date me? What should I do?

I've been seeing a guy for a couple of months, and when we had the talk about "what we are" he said that he's not at all opposed to the idea of being in a relationship with me but that he wanted to take things slow (and he flirts with other girls).

But after he told me that, and I've tried to give him a little space, he's acted extremely clingy. He over analyzes every little thing I say and is constantly saying that I don't care or that I don't like him, and he gets mad if I don't text him every day...

I'm really confused. Could he just be using me for his ego?


Most Helpful Guy

  • My best friend had the same exact problem with her current girlfriend. She was getting over an ex and wasn't ready to date but knew she liked her. It took some time but she finally told my friend she liked her. I don't know the guy so it is posso let he's playing games but he also might not be ready. I'd suggest having another conversation and see if he feels comfortable telling you why he's not ready. If he's not comfortable maybe move on.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He's very insecure. You giving him space isn't understood as helpful. He sees it as rejection and that scares him. So he's trying to grab on without actually having to make the decision about a relationship. The balls in your court.

    • But really he can't be worried about rejection, because I told him that I was willing to be exclusive with him and he was the one who didn't want that right yet.

    • He's worried he won't be able Have his cake and eat it too, so to speak. Basically he wants you to fall all over him and be there for him while he is able to pursue others.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Why are you still with him? It won't change

    • Well see, I've been trying to back off because that's exactly what I think, and I told him that. But each time I do he won't leave me alone and will spend HOURS telling me how much he doesn't want "us" to be over...

    • Show All
    • I guess because I figured that if he's been willing to put in that much effort to fight for me to stay then he deserved another chance. But I'm also afraid that he never will want to date me, which I've told him that and he says he definitely does eventually

    • Oh bullshit. It won't change and you really want to date such a flake?

  • He doesn't want to let you go. But he's doing it totally wrong.

    • What do you mean he's doing it wrong?

    • He said he wants to take things slow, but when you give him space he cares too much. It's a contradiction.

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe by take things slow he meant that he didn't want to get engaged until around thanksgiving?