Is he talking to other girls?

I've been talking to my boyfriend since June, and since we've met, and had our first kiss last month - we're in a relationship.
This isn't the only reason why I'm in a relationship, there's been romantic moments which just made me fall for him, like the first time we met he held my hand and was looking into my eyes, I could see how he felt for me, and before kissing me he put his hand flat against my chest feeling my heart beat fast, and told me I'm beautiful (maybe I'm just really falling for it, I don't know... but I find it romantic)

Anyway I'm really insecure because of my last relationship. I didn't even want to be in relationship ever again, but he crept up on me, he was talking to me everyday and night since June I guess I got attached.

The problem is that we barely talk on the phone anymore and he doesn't talk to me like he used to.

Like I said he would talk to me everyday and message me all the time, to go from that to not talking on the phone for 3 weeks just feels as if something is up - I've moved out for uni, I'm a 100 miles away - I'd expect there to be more contact because I'm far away.

Also he doesn't really message me much, sometimes it's a good morning, a bit of banter and goodnight. He's not romantic towards me as much as he used to be either. And the past two weeks when I message him (whatsapp) I can see that he's online but he doesn't open my message and goes offline then replies hours later even though he's been online in between, it makes me think he's talking to another girl, the attention he used to give me, he's giving it to someone else.

2 weeks ago (when all this started) I told him straight up that if he doesn't want to be with me then he's free to go, and I told him how I felt; that we don't talk anymore etc but then he says he loves me, doesn't want anyone else, that's why he's waited months to be with me etc and will make sure that we're still ok...

... But then he hasn't changed... it's making me really insecure and I hate it.

  • Yes, he's talking to other girls.
    25% (1)43% (3)36% (4)Vote
  • No, I'm over thinking and he wants to be with me.
    25% (1)0% (0)9% (1)Vote
  • He's lost interest.
    50% (2)57% (4)55% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's hard to tell, if he's really good looking then yeah most likely he's talking to someone else since it's long distance. If he's average/ugly then obviously not. Could be wrong though, my best friend from high school looked exactly like Chris brown 6'1" and had a long distance relationship with his girl. She was in college like 200miles away. They kept it up for like 2-3 years. I don't know why it ended. Those shits never work trust me

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    • 28d

      He's average looking, but he's 6'5 and has a great personality, so it's not hard for him to get girls.
      I said this all to him before, I had literally 101 excuses to not be with him... I even made him wait months so he wouldn't act like a idiot... I don't know what to do, I think I'm going to end up breaking up with him because I can't deal with feeling insecure like this.
      Thank you :)

What Guys Said 3

  • I am sorry to hear that - Honestly it is impossible to know without talking to him - My only counsel would be talk to him but you already have, I would say do it again tell him you deserve and need more attention, Say if he has lost interest or moved on, it is only fair that he tells you or commits to the relationship

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    • 28d

      If I have to ask for commitment I'd rather not be with him, I'm not ready to deal with another relationship where I'm putting in the effort... thank you :)

    • 28d

      No, I am not recommending chasing more making a stand, this is what I deserve, I give it to you, are you willing to meet me halfway, if not I am gone.

  • Sounds like you've been moved onto the back burner. He's just keeping you around for the moments you come back home. Sorry, 100 miles is no distance at all if you care about the other person, it's 10quid in diesel and a couple of hours in the car. It sounds like he enjoyed the chase and that was it when he got you, you moving away just gave him a the final excuse (yes excuse not reason) to chalk it up. I would ask if he wants to come out and see you every other weekend at least, lets see if he's serious about it.

    It's a shame such a pretty girl has been messed around to the point of being insecure about guys.

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    • 26d

      Thank you :)

      After talking to my friend, I think he's pulled away because I'm not showing him how I feel... He has wanted to come visit me here at uni many times, but I keep telling him no, and I keep saying no whenever he wants to see me too. And it's literally because something always pops up and I don't want to move too fast either... I think that's why he's taken a step back. I'm going home next week, and he wants to go out on a date, so I'll talk to him then and if nothing changes then I'm ending it.

  • He's lost interest.

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What Girls Said 4

  • it does sound fishy actually
    I really can t help you with that, you d need to gauge his reaction when you confronted him.
    does he sound credible or not? try increasing the meet ups and see if the spark is there.
    if not, he doesn t have to be really talking to someone else but he might have lost interest.

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    • 28d

      It's hard to meet up because of our schedules I have uni monday-thursday, and works every day except wednesdays and sundays, both of those are hard to go visit him.

      But he does sound sincere, we went back and forth for two hours before we fell asleep and then the next morning too talking about it... so there is effort, but then he doesn't change anything despite me telling him

  • I went through something similar. It's possible he lost interest because well some guys like the chase mostly. Or maybe he just doesn't like the distance between you all.

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    • 28d

      When I try to ask him, he says I'm being stupid and overthinking it, but what Mr Clever Clogs doesn't understand is that heee is giving me reasons to over think and feel insecure... I feel like breaking up because I hate feeling insecure, especially after what I've been through with my ex I never want to be in a position where I'm the one chasing after him - that's not how a relationship should be. It really messes with me badly feeling this way.

    • 28d

      Yeah I feel you girl. He clearly doesn't wanna put in effort anymore I guess so maybe just give him space until he's ready to act right lmao.

    • 28d

      Thank you :) I'll probably end up doing that.

  • I would really move on if I were you. This doesn't seem worth it at all and he's going to disappoint you when you could have your mind on better things.

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  • You're definitely not overthinking it.
    He's being immature and irresponsible AND a pussy on top of that.
    Making you wait 3 weeks for nothing is very dishonest from him. You should confront him and if refuses or fails to give you a legit explanation, leave him, he's either confused and unsure about the relationship OR he lost interest.
    You should never be with someone who isn't willing to burn the world for you and prove his love through CONTINUOUS attention.

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    • 28d

      And by the way words can be worthless, take in consideration his actions, not words.

    • 27d

      I'm soo confused.
      He doesn't let me break up with him whenever I try.

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