Guys, is what my friends are saying true or should I believe him?

I was seeing a guy who I fell in love with. I could tell he deeply cared about me too. We were basically in a relationship but with out the title (met all his friends, would stay at his house 3-4x a week, cooked together, went on date nights and he told his family about me etc). I asked him whether he saw a future with me and he said definitely that he was at the age where he wouldn't waste time with anyone he didn't see a future with. Basically last year he went through a terrible breakup. After 4 years his ex stole some of his money and changed the locks to find out she was with another guy. I met him at the end of last year and basically he's said I mean so much to him but isn't ready to commit because he hasn't gotten over everything yet from his past. He was extremely upset and said he doesn't want to lose me but I said we aren't on the same page because I do want more.
People keep telling me if he really liked me he would have been with me regardless. When I look at him I see the pain when he says he's not ready just yet. I don't know what to believe? Is what my friends are saying true?

  • Yes you're friends are right
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  • No they aren't. Sometimes people aren't ready even if they do really care
    100% (4)
And you are? I'm a GuyGirls can not vote on this poll

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is one of the few times I'm going to agree with him. He told you the truth and I admire his unwillingness to get in a rebound with you. All you can do is get on with your life without him

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What Guys Said 1

  • What more are you wanting that he isn't giving you, official title of BF/GF? Did you break up?

    I'd say if you really care about him, just be patient and don't push him into something he's not ready for, but let him know that what you want is important too.

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    • 27d

      The title yeah. It sounds stupid but I find it really hard to let my guards all the way down (I've been hurt quite badly too) if I don't know exactly what we are. Can't say relationship because that's not what we are. Well basically we have but have both said we don't want to lose each other completely and he sent a message saying I mean a lot to him and we'll get to where we want to be eventually. I am torn because I don't want to stay and wait and still be waiting for months and months to come because I know I'll get anxious and I'm scared I'll end up hurt and hating him which I don't want either.

    • 27d

      His message seems sincere. Tell him your point of view, and ask that he take it into consideration, knowing it will hurt you to wait months and months. It takes two people to make a relationship work.

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