How do I tell him to slow down and not take it too seriously?

To be honest, I'm not even sure what I want with him but I do know that I don't want a relationship. The thing is I do have feelings for him and told him already where I stand. However, because I do have feelings for him, we have been hanging out and been affectionate here and there but no sex. But I actually don't want us to be something, maybe flirty friends? I just don't want to be something where I put myself in a bad place like a "booty call." I'm not having sex with him and I don't plan to to be honest so friends with benefits is out of the picture. He does seem really into me, he puts a lot of effort in me such as making time to see me, making me feel good, etc. It does make me feel good to have a guy show me love especially after coming from a relationship where I didn't get much and I was the one giving it. So I can't help but want to hang out with him and you know eventually that leads to us being affectionate, playful, basically the things I am trying to stay away from. So as you can see, I don't know how to tell him since I don't even know exactly what I want but I think it's pretty clear I don't want anything serious.


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's pretty clear that you're not over your last relationship. It's not fair to compare the new person to the old one. If that guy is attractive to you and has the right qualities you should open up and give him a chance. Not all men are pigs. The key to having someone right where you both want eachother is to have an equal balance. If you like him let it happen. Open up just as much as he does. If he opens more and you like it, do the same. That's how people fall for eachother and have strong relationships. If one heart is more closed off/ open then the other it will never ever work. I got my heart broke from that same experience. allowing yourself to be vulnerable to someone who is not into you is a recipe for disaster, but allowing yourself to be vulnerable to someone who to me sounds like they are trying could possibly make you a very happy girl.

    • I'm not over my last relationship for sure and he knows that yet he continues to pursue me. Like I said it is nice that he cares and I'm still trying to see if it's genuine or he's just trying to hook up with me cause guys do that; they can be all nice in front of your face until they get what they want or until they get tired of waiting. He seems like that type of guy but I'm trying to keep an open mind. Either way though, I'm not ready to get with another guy but whenever he comes around, I enjoy it cause I do have feelings for him. So its like I want him to be around but not in a serious way. Not sure how to tell him that

What Girls Said 1

  • You need to tell him that you're not ready to have sex with him yet.

    • I already told him that but it's also not just the sex. It's the emotional part too. I don't want anything with him but I do like him and so far enjoy his company so do I just let it be? Or actually tell him where he stand?