Kinda unrelated to the topic but this website usually gives good advice.
i don't really want to say what the addiction is but in the end I feel all addictions are the same to an extent.
i feel like addictions are an alter ego that you do not want. While inside I want to stop and put feelings aside there's always a secondary voice in my head that always wins.
imy hurting my husband. He feels I'm selfish, and I'm far from it but in areas where it comes to the addiction I defintatly can see myself being selfish. It hurts me badly that he feels that way and I want to change.
this May get confusing but I hope I explain it in a way you can understand. While I can put my husband first most the times the emotions are sometimes still strong and I can't feel happy and myself when my addiction "needs" aren't met. As much as I inside want to be the negative emotions always win.
for example, sometimes he'll stay awake to try and make me feel better but my emotions can't calm down. So I tell him I'll sleep elsewhere so I'm my anxiety doesn't cause him lack of sleep for work.
i hate myself so much all the time with this. Growing up the last thing I ever was was selfish. I hurts so bad the man I married thinks this. But I honestly feel I can't change, I've tried so much and I have improved but I'm not completely better.
I've tried to let him go so he can have a happy life but when it comes down to it we both aren't strong enough to let each other go. I don't know what to anymore :( can anyone relate?
Most Helpful Guy
EVERYONE is addicted to something. It could be a substance, an activity, or a thing. That is the very definition of addiction. They can be good or bad addictions, but essentially everything we do is an addiction we just dont look at it that way. Not until it becomes bad for our health mentally and physically or it starts to effect how others interact with us does it become an "addiction". Once people discover your addiction and know when you are or are not using or doing something you can count on them telling you their expert opinion about your lifestyle and how their perfect life is a model for how you should live yours. Nobody will ever look at themselves and say they should change this or that and actually do it, but MOST people will never skip a beat in telling their loved ones, friends, or even strangers that they should or should not do something.
People know, as do you, that their addiction is either good or bad. They know if they should or shouldn't stop, and they know how they can get help if they need to. The only thing that will get an addiction to stop is if the person doing it actually wants to stop. Nobody, even your boyfriend, will make you stop your addiction unless you want to. Breaking up, arguing, etc. will not change it. Only you will stop when and how you want to. Do not let hypocrites and judgmental friends and family lecture you about your addiction unless you have asked them to. Never let anyone make you feel less because they are different than you. That is them making themselves feel better by making you feel worse. That is actually an addiction many people have too, lol.
Since you are already aware you have an addiction you are smart enough to know how and where to get help. If you want to keep your addiction you probably know how to hide it or do it in moderation so you dont have to quit. So its really up to you.
Are you OK with needing something or having to do something to be normal? If you have it are you a good, conscientious member of society who doesn't endanger others with said addiction? If you can do it, does it hurt others or your relationships? Does doing this thing shorten your life or endanger it? These are the questions you should ask yourself and depending on your answer you should know what you have to do.
Bottom line, if your addiction is really hurting others around you. Then you choose them or the addiction. If its not really hurting them then its more like them not accepting you.0
Most Helpful Girl
My husband has an addictive personality. He was addicted to gambling and drugs. His sister and I did an intervention. He wrote me letter telling me he didn't want to hurt me anymore. He quit the drugs cold turkey. A year later we moved to Texas to put a stop to his gambling.
Another example is my sister in laws husband, who was addicted to coke. He had to go to rehab.
They both describe their addictions as a very strong NEED to do what they did. No matter what they did or who they hurt they couldn't stop it until it became too late. You can try to submit yourself into rehab. Try to stay committed to it until you feel you're better.0