How soon is too soon to get emotional attachment to someone?

In the world of dating, when would you say it is too soon to get emotionally attached to someone? I was seeing a girl for 3 month, spending at least a full day with her every week. She stayed at mine & I met her family. However, she said I got attached too soon! Which makes me ask the question, when is it too soon to feel attachment?


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What Girls Said 12

  • Well it really all depends if you get emotionally attached too quickly with people overall. And its based on wither or not its healthy or unhealthy. However I always say for people to not get too emotionally attached without making sure that this is the person you want and desire long term and for marriage as well. If not, don't get too comfortable, in case you need to break up from that person. However I say its safe to say with 4-6 months its okay. But you open up little by little and not immediately.

    Also you do so at your own pace, and never allow anybody to force you or belittle you because your not doing so as quickly. We don't really know by what she means by you doing it so soon. What I can see by it is when you said that she stayed at your place and you met her family. But the family part really all depends. I do see that its best tell your parents that your looking to date somebody or that you are seeing somebody seriously at the beginning of the relationship once you become official. So it really all depends.

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  • Often when "falling in love" or becoming attached we tend to see an idealized version of our partner. We imagine how they will react, how you will be treated, what kind of life (even short term) you I'll have together.
    At this phase your partner can do no wrong. With time you start to see faults. She doesn't respond to texts promptly, he doesn't like her cat, she gets snipy and mean when she is tired, he doesn't fill the brita back up and leaves it in the fridge empty.

    Then there is a reckoning between this ideal image you love and the reality of your partner. Until you can get past this projection you can truly be attached to and love the real person.

    You can be come attached to a projection pretty quickly, but it takes time to break past that and find the flawed and real person.

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    • 28d

      Yeah over the last few days I've definitely started to see her flaws... She thinks she's above everyone as she thinks she's smarter than everyone, she flirted with guys to try make me jealous & she has absolutely no empathy to my life situations, those are just some examples. All these flaws make me ask why I want to be with her in the first place @CheshireCat89

  • I think that three months is fine to get emotionally attached at. I think she meant that you were attached BEFORE that and pointed it out when three months had passed. I mean, for each couple it's different, but maybe for her it felt like things were going by too fast. That's okay! And it's good that she talked about it with you too! It's good to be open about how you feel and honest in relationships. I think you should slow down a little bit and give her a bit of space for a while to show respect. I hope this was helpful! :)

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  • That seems like a reasonable amount of time, but it also depends on what you mean by emotionally attached and on people's personalities. It took about 3 months for my boyfriend and I to become official and I'm the type of person who doesn't call someone my boyfriend until I'm serious about them.

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  • attachments can happen pretty fast. the key is to determine if it's a healthy attachment. that comes in time.. that's why being open for love grow at any pace is the best way to go

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  • My mom and my step dad got married after knowing each other for only 3 months, so I don't think it is too soon for you to be attached. I think that the girl has problems with things progressing or something because that seems like a totally reasonable amount of time.

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  • getting emotional without observing behavior/character is too soon

    For example, say you don't want to be with someone who smokes.

    And then you meet a girl, find her attractive, you talk to her, and bam after a while get emotionally attached and then find out she smokes. you decide to see past it because you know love is blind.

    That's too soon in my opinion.

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  • It takes me about 3 weeks to a month to feel emotionally attached but their personality has to be stellar, I rarely get attached to anyone because i'm picky with personality. There isn't really a specific date to get attached, it all depends on the person.

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  • I'm not sure if there is a certain time that is too soon or w/e but I know that I've been talking to someone for almost 2 months and I deeply care for and like him, I have an emotional connection with him.

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  • A month. Too soon.

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  • A week is prematured for me 😂😂😂

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  • 3 months is just fine, I don't know her issue with that haha. Too soon would be like a month.

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What Guys Said 10

  • I guess Ask yourself what do you know about the other person?
    Can you predict how they'll react under different circumstances? do you know their philosophy on child rearing, marriage, and life? Do you know anything about their relationship with their family? have you ever gotten in an argument? how did he/she change when you were arguing?

    Another important thing is to match your feelings with the other person. You don't want to be way more or way less attached than they are to you. A one-sided relationship is a nightmare.

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  • No right or wrong answer here, 1 week, 1 hour, or 10 years; we can't determine when we begin to "fall" for someone, that is nature taking over my friend.

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  • From what I've seen.. it's never a problem IF it's mutual... which 9 times out of 10 is not the case.

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  • Sorry, you can't schedule emotions

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  • When you feel ready. Ready enough to know you and the girl are on the same page. Give it time bro. Relationships should be slow and smooth. It keeps you two committed to each other way longer

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  • 5 of 6 minutes.

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  • I stopped being attached to anyone and I feel better and stronger

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    • 28d

      Really? It has made more sad and weaker than I used to be. It has made me lonely.

    • 28d

      @TheSheWolf6 well for me i used to wear my heart on my sleeves and women manipulated me used this against me instead of being moral about it so when i stopped doing that i have more clear vision to know if the woman worth it or not and didn't find a woman yet who is worth it yes im sentimental feel lonely sometimes but if i don't protect and apperciate this side of me no one would

  • One date is too soon.

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  • Its always too soon

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  • 1 date or 2. It doesn't always happen but when it does, it sucks. I got attached to a girl that I had a lot in common with and it was good but shitty at the same time.

    I think how you act on it is more important than anything.

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