What would you do if you fond out you were were dating a transgender person?



Let's say your dating someone, your kissing on this person in the mouth, hugging them and they're your girlfriend but you find out they're actually a guy, and they are transgender. What would you do? Girls what would you do if your guy was actually a girl that looked like a guy on the outside.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I obviously wouldn't dump her. I fell for her in the first place for her traits. Her long hair, her voice, the way she was, how she carried herself. None of that would have changed if I suddenly knew she was born differently. She would still be the exact same girl I was attracted to.
    People seem to think transgender people are men and women "pretending" to be the opposite sex for perverse or twisted reasons. I suggest they do some research on what being transsexual actually is.

    We would find a way to make it work sexually, and maybe she would need emotional support from me, but it would never change what I fell for. She would still be just her. With a rough past beind her.

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What Guys Said 29

  • There is male and there is female. And there are mental disorders. And someone with that serious of one who would lie about something as big as that, is as bad as a pickpocket at least. If they carry diseases other than their mental one and lie, then that's anything from sociopathic mischief to attempted murder, depending on which virus they carry.

    Such individuals belong in straight jackets, or receiving therapy to the extreme. I would not lock lips with someone until I was pretty reasonably confident that I knew exactly that the woman was a real woman, not some dude that belongs in a hospital.

    Even then, there are some women I simply don't trust. Not because I believe they're really men in disguise; but because they've shown themselves to be pathological in infinite other ways.

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    • 23d

      Exept it's not a mental disorder. You disagree with the entire medical society, and all studies suggesting it's not. People who have dedicated their lives studying this phenomena.

      Have a listen to this: The leading theory as to why people become transsexual is hormonal imbalances affecting their brain development as children. They become neurologically wired as the opposite sex. For example, a transsexual woman would be deprived of the masculinizing hormone testosterone that was supposed to masculinize her brain. Her body ends up male, but her brain never go to that stage. It was feminized, making her feel as though she is supposed to live and develop as a woman. If not - she will suffer from gender dysphoria, which I can assure you is hell. This is what treatment alleviates.
      This is a simplified explanation. But we know that men and women have different brain structures, and we know transsexual people's brains differ from people of their biological sex's.

    • 23d

      @NicknameShirt : Actually, unbiased doctors agree it is a disorder. It's political hacks like the AGLP arm of the APA that insist it isn't. They go to great lengths to punish doctors whose findings and positions don't comply with what is PC.

    • 22d

      It is a medical condition indeed. There aren't studies disproving it's existence, but the studies that attempt prove it are few and not enough to view the hormone-theory as the cause, even though it's the leading theory. What is known and proven though, is that transsexual people get their dysphoria alleviated after medical transition, and end up living absolutely normal lives.
      The people you see in the media that are "trans", especially lately, often follow a ridiculous trend. They speak about "exploring their identities" and shit. Those aren't at all representative of actual transsexual people, who are your average guy at a construction place, office worker, doctor. They are invisible, often no one knows they are trans. Completely normal people who got the medical treatment they needed. I see no problem with that.

  • Firstly, I would like to say that this would NEVER happen to me because I can instantly tell a transgender in person. I have thought a non-transgender actually was transgendered though.

    Anyway, if I found that out the chances of violence occurring is not likely but it would cross my mind. It would be on my list of worst things that ever happened in my life. I've never consider making it work. I'm a straight male and being emotionally and sexually involved with another guy is absolutely not an option.

    A lot of transgender people seem to secretly date people hiding it and I can't say I blame them because getting turned down 1 million times can get a little hard on a person. I do blame a lot of transgender for saying that people are closed minded for not dating them because they are trans gendered.
    Having a winky as opposed to a muff in a relationship is a game changer. It's not fair to blame someone for wanting to run away.

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  • I would freak out. That is an enormous lie and its horrible not to mention it. I would be out of there so fast.

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  • That would never happen because I would never be fooled that a guy is a girl.

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    • 24d

      Agreed. I've always been able to tell. Let's say it did happen though, I would hope that person would've been honest and told me before anything romantic or sexual happened. Even a kiss. That's a pretty big secret to keep and would be a deal breaker. Not just because they're transgender but also because they kept it from me (feel deceived). That's something you tell someone right off the bat.

  • If this person did not tell me before we got heavily involved, I would be pissed. Especially cause I would never date a transgender in the first place. I am a straight man I love women, no exceptions to that. A transgender is not a woman, it is a man that had a sex change to be become a woman, because they felt like one. I am not into this. I know there are some transgenders out there, that you cannot tell, they are a man. I feel like if that person does not have the decency to tell the person they are thinking of getting involved with, that is fucked in my book, excuse my language but seriously come on.

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  • I would be shocked for sure, but I guess it would really depend on the person I was with, and if they wanted to go through sexual reassignment. I only mention this because admittedly I really enjoy sex with women. Outside of that, even though I would be surprised I wouldn't lash out violently or anything like that. I'm not a violent sort of person, and yes I suppose I could take the position they deceived me, but I can understand why they may not play that card up front.

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  • I'd stop dating right away. I want women who were actually born women.

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  • Thisi would end up in me going to jail for murder

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  • Vomit profusely for a while, wonder how the hell I didn't see it, and then break things off.

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  • I'd be very pissed that I'd been lied to. If they can't have the decency to tell me that they are transgender, then how can I trust that they will be truthful in the rest of the relationship? This is one of the reasons why I wouldn't date transgender - because they seem to be hiding something about themselves.

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  • I would embrace her because that's the choice she made - being together by choice is what matters.

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  • The word murder comes to mind. That's intentional deception, and I would want revenge for that.

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  • I'd be pissed off they didn't tell me and left it for me to discover by accident like that.

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  • Fuck no,

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  • So are they physically different as in male junk?
    I definitly couldn't deal with that!
    If they where anatomically a woman if thats even possible I could?
    It still has problems though even if thats possible like having to take drugs all the time and dealing with how pepole will react even if most don't say anything?

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    • 24d

      If your thinking of it or something. Dont life is tough already don't make it harder than it needs to be for your self.

  • No idea what would happen. I might walk away or I might stay but on which terms?

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  • That person failed to be truthful with you. Not cool. I would be mad and very digusted

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  • not cool. its hard to respect a person thats a transgender. there whole life is a lie.

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  • Hell to the no. If dating, I would dump.

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  • Break up and, feel seriously bummed out.

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  • I would not care as ling as tgey sounded feminine

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  • I wouldn't care

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  • It wouldn't bother me.

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  • I now ask if the woman is real. Nowadays you have to.

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  • I'd get angry with them not telling me and I'd disassociate with them. I'm not gay.

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  • I'd escape lol

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  • Ha. Haha. Oh my goodness. They have bone structure like a man. I'm going to beat them to an inch of their lives like a man. Maybe even kill them.

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  • If I spent so much time around them, they looked like a girl, sounded like a girl, smelled like a girl and felt like one too and then found out they had a dick, I'd want to try it out but I wouldn't want to keep the relationship going.

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What Girls Said 16

  • It's evil for a trans person to get involved with a heterosexual person without telling them about them first. It's deceptive and it's wrong. If I found that out, I'd be whooping their ass and they'd never hear from me again. That's fucking disgusting! Just date a homosexual or be freaking honest when you meet them! Anything otherwise is deception and it's WRONG!

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  • I would throw up
    Man I am gonna so pissed off if that happens
    If she doesn't make it clear that she is a trans from the start, I might even smack

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  • I would be disappointed that he hadn't felt he could tell me after knowing each other for nine years and him being the one I spoke to most when I was figuring out my sexuality. I would have thought that we would have been close enough now for him to be open and honest about what he was feeling. I think that I'd be a little hurt by that. Buuut I'm bi and ultimately, I fell in love with him for his personality and who he is and how happy he makes me, I didn't fall in love with him for his dick, so I think our relationship could survive.

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  • If I found out any of the guys I'm currently seeing were born female, I'd be massively disappointed no matter how much their penis looked like a real penis.

    I wouldn't judge them.. but I want a man who experienced the whole deal.. from boyhood through manhood. Not everyone feels that way and there's nothing wrong with dating a transgender person.. it's just not what I prefer..

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    • 24d

      By the way, I watched that video and if her boyfriend didn't know.. he is NOT educated. She looks like a QB with tits xD

  • I would not be okay with it. Don't hide such a huge fact from me. That is call deception.

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  • I would end it. They're enough people who are totally okay with dating transgender people, they can find someone else.

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  • I would probably still be with them, because if I was with them that means that I'm in love with them, and because I love them that's why I would want to be with them. Now don't get me wrong I understand that there are many kinds of love, but the love that I'm talking about is romantic love. That being said, because I had romantically fallen in love with them for the kind of person that they are is why would you still want to be with them.

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  • the crying game

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  • That means he (I guess he's not he in this situation) is not honest with me because he's been lying all this time when he's with me, I mean from the beginning on that relationship and I'd felt so deceived. I mean being trans or something else not a problem for me but being a liar is a big damn problem. I'd definitely hurt him with my words and my slaps. And I'd cried for days on my bed. It's so hard to accept something like this for a while. It must be a very devastating case.

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  • I'd run for the fucking hills.

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  • feel grossed out and dump 'em
    luckily, i'll be smart enough to discern one so that it will never happen to me

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  • I wouldn't care

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  • I would be like WTF and feel lied to

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  • Be very angry that she didn't tell me and break up.

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  • Maybe I could be open to the idea of dating a Transgender (I don't know since I've never been in this situation) but I don't think I could stay with them after I found out. I feel that's something you should be open about from the beginning. It's not fair to deceive a person so that they'll like you.

    I have been in a situation when I found out I was dating a single father, and I was very angry. He knew that I didn't want kids and he lied and said he didn't want kids either. It is my fault because I should have figured out why there were certain weekends why he didn't want to hang out. He told me every other Saturday was boys night, and so I didn't question it. It turned out that he had his kids every other weekend. I bumped into him one weekend with the kids, and it all came out.

    Maybe I could have been open to the idea of kids him and I were getting to know each other before we actually dated, but he never told me about them. It's the same with this. If I met someone and I liked them enough, there is a chance I could look past the fact that they transitioned if they were upfront about it. However, if they waited until we were dating for a while and revealed it, I wouldn't stay with them. It's not right to deceive me like that. The single father told me that if I liked him enough, I should have accepted that he had kids and that I was very shallow. I find that to be manipulative. He deliberately deceived me to get me to like him, and then he sprung the kids on me.

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    • 9d

      All what is important is that you can't change what you are, if ilove you illove you the way you are, even transgender aslong as she loveme ill date withher.

  • I probably wouldn't care that much. Hard to say though, as I've never been wuth a transgender person.
    I've once been with a girl for the one week it took me to find out she was dangerously crazy. She's transitioning to a guy now and the last time I saw him he was so much happier and more comfortable to be around, like he was finally no longer fighting his own mind.
    Im not attracted to him anymore either way though, so still not sure.

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