Things were going pretty great. There was a connection (great conversation, great compatability, great sex, you name it). He even said that we were very compatible in our last conversation.
The only problem is that, while he loves my curves, he doesn't like my overall weight. He said he's not as sexually into me as he'd want to be because of my weight. Now, this is coming from a tall, skinny Asian who eats whatever the fuck he wants, who also happens to believe it's all about calorie in/calorie out. Another note, I did not lead him on in the beginning. Prior to our first date I told him that I'm not happy with where I'm at physically. I need to lose 15 pounds to be in the average range for my height to weight ratio.
Since he broke it off on Thursday, we've talked on and off (I've initiated all of these conversations). He said that he felt I'd find someone better by the time I did lose the weight (insecurities on his part, maybe).
Initially, we decided to be friends while I worked on myself, but when does that ever work out? He said he'd still be attracted to me even if we were friends for awhile, but he's going to hop back on dating sites (if he hasn't already) while I'm working on myself so that he and I could work things out.
Last night I came back and told him that if he changes his mind and decides he wants to continue this while I work on improving myself, let me know. I couldn't guarantee I'd lose the weight fast, but said I'd be constantly working on it, and that I want a supportive relationship. he asked me how much I weighed and height (romantic, right?). And then after I responded, told him my goal weight, he just said OK.
Since our Thursday conversation, he just acts like he's done and moving on. He doesn't initiate the texts, reads some of my messages and doesn't respond, and he was pretty short with me yesterday. I feel like he's just moving on because he wasn't all that interested in the first place.
Most Helpful Guy
He is having unrealistic expectations, you're already trying your best and you have not given up, so why the fuck can't he just grow the fuck up and be patient about your work in progress? What the fuck does he expect? That you're going to become a super model or have the body of one eventually? If he's really helping you he should do research and actually help you find the most safe, reliable and efficient and easy to follow methods and means to lose weight, instead of telling you to do this or do that, or that you need to do this or do that. You know, what it's his loss. He's being a shallow fuck, it's not like you had completely given up and stopped trying to lose weight, it's his lack of understanding and lack of cooperation to help you, or even motivate you in your progress. But that's alright, you don't have to hang around him, once you made enough progress you'll eventually end up with someone better than him.1
Most Helpful Girl
Quote: 'Last night I came back and told him that if he changes his mind and decides he wants to continue this while I work on improving myself, let me know.'
Seriously, please do yourself a big favor and move on. I am sorry but it shows you lack self confidence. Why do you want a man who is obviously dimping you because you are overweight? Is he Mr. Perfection walking on earth? I am sure he is not, and no one is. Why would you belittle yourself like this? If a guy wants you he should want you even if you are overweight and not disrespect you like this. A guy who really likes a woman would accept her flaws, and maybe encourage her to exercise after, but she should be the one who decides to lose weight, not because some guy told her ' you need to lose weight because I am not attracted to you like this'. Even if he is the last guy in your city, you should not take him.. out of self-respect.
If you accept this, he will always control you (he already is!) and why not get 2 or 3 other girlfriends in case you get back the 1 or 2 kilograms that you lost!
I am sorry to be harsh, for I feel sad for you.1