Should I care if people think of me as the motherly type?

Okay so this guy found out I liked him and he said he would never date me because I look like a grandmother. I was shocked because he always told me I look pretty. And he doesn't even know how to dress. (I don't like him anymore). Then my friends always tell me they think of me as the mother of the group. I help out at a orphanage on the weekends and the kids there tell me I am very gentle and motherly like. I have always just been a quiet person and I care about people by nature. And I usually wear dresses or something fancy. But I feel like I must be really plain or something for people to think of me as a mom. I feel offended when people say that about me and it leads me to believe that's why I don't have a boyfriend. Should I change something or let it go?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No don't change! I think being motherly is a great quality to have! It means your sweet, caring, and kind so what guy wouldn't want that? Anyone who doesn't is missing out!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Dang I've also felt like I've been mothering my friends and sometimes I think to myself, whether I should just stop.

    My advice, I personally feel is, you have to set certain boundaries. If its something your friends can do, let them do it. Help once, help twice, but thats enough. Trivial things which they can handle on their own like paying for something etc. Know when to lend a hand and when to let others steer the wheel. Moderation is key.

    As for appearance wise, your nature does not equal to your appearance. If that boy can't see you for the gem you are, then it's his loss. And love goes deeper than that, whereas beauty is skin deep.

    You just haven't met the right one yet. Don't let what they say pull you down!

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What Guys Said 9

  • Hell if you like a grandma at 17 instead of 17 like you should I wouldn't want to date you either. But in short you should care what others think if you want a relationship and not stay single forever, even though changing to suit others is always a bad idea. Personally I just stay single.

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  • I would say that as a compliment to someone, motherly is good thing in my opinion, it means nurturing, kind, soft and taking care of me :)

    Don't be sad about it, if you are motherly than it is a good thing

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  • Don't worry about it. In a matter of 1 - 2yrs all of that will be a GOOD thing while your friends are all listening to justin bieber.

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  • In a short time you'll be in a completely different world. Those traits that you see as a hindrance will become a blessing.

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  • It just means you're responsible and surrounded by children.

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  • Awwww, that's cute. And trust me when i tell you in the long run, a "moderly" type is what every good guy wants (in a "mother of my children" kind of a way). Right now you're too young for that, but in a few years that will be a bonus.

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  • Don't try to change any thing about younself unless it is a bad thing. Just be who you are and one day you will find the right man. Caring about other people is a great thing. Just let it go.

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  • let it go, let it go, let it go, i forgot lyrics so.
    that's adorable trait.

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  • It's just, you're kind of young to be acting so, old

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    • 19d

      Age is a number, you're never too young to be responsible.

    • Show All
    • 19d

      @Jaadabyrd You're fine, just be yourself. Don't listen to anyone else who tells you what they think you should be. The only person that has the final say is yourself, and the only opinions that matter are from the people you love.

    • 18d

      Another QA who can't handle the answer, LMAO

What Girls Said 5

  • Sounds like just an excuse to me. Besides, he sounds way to immature to be boyfriend material.

    It's probably a coincidence that your friends think of you as a mother type. I have a friend like this, and it's because she's super protective of everyone close to her. Take it as a compliment.

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  • You don't need to change, it's a lovely personality trait to have - to be caring and nurturing.

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  • Let it go, girl!! The right guy will love you for who you are not who he wants you to be!!!

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  • Just leave it. You deserve better. When you live your own life then they ask where you've been

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  • Trust me, the right guy is going to LOVE these qualities you have. They are qualities! Don't feel bad.

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