I been with a guy for about 3 years now. When I first started dating this guy he was 29. He was very hardworking and was in a job for 6 years. All of a sudden decided to leave the job and did not mention anything until a month later. He then has not been working for a total of about 1 1/2 years throughout our relationship. Everything is great except for his work ethic. He then eventually got a job for 6 months, as he knew I was unhappy. He then got sick and had 2 major surgeries and has not been working since. He is now 32 and tells me he does not to work with shitty people and wants to start his own company. I am going to be 26 and not sure what to do as if I continue to date him, he may not ever get a job. I currently was working for 3 years and then left my job as I was unhappy. I just feel though I am almost 26 and he is 32 and he should know what he wants before me. Plus he has the option to work with his father's company and will not. He says he loves me so much and I am the best thing in his life. He also mentioned its his time in his life, where he doesn't have kids and wants to try this out. Should I let things ride out or he will not change?
Most Helpful Guy
If you love him, ride it out. He is just tired of "settling" for work and wants to find something he's truly happy doing (you also right? as you left your job because you were unhappy? why can't he?). The only thing that was a "red flag" here to me was that he didn't tell you he quit his one job for a month and a half. Honesty and communication are so important in relationships. Now, I get that it's been a while and he's still not working but 2 major surgeries is a very good reason. Starting your own company is another good reason but has he done any work to start this? Or is all talk so far? I also understand not wanting to work with family (his dad), lots of people don't want to or can't handle it. Emotions get in the way. The kids issue, that's a good sign if you want them also, however he should get his career established before this happens. You both need to be able to support them. Also, you are already considering leaving him so don't add kids to this situation until you're sure you want to stay with him. So, it's up to you and how you feel. You know him better than we do. I would look at what he IS doing right now, any work into getting a job or starting a career? Or all talk and no action? As far as not knowing what to do with his life, that's all too common, some people never figure it out, but he should be trying things also.2
Most Helpful Girl
I believe @GingerGuy already covered it pretty well.
Two major surgeries, I don't know what kind, but it sounds life-changing.
Kids, I don't think you're ever super ready to have them, but cannot put life on hold in preparation for that as well.
If he wants to fly solo, careerwise, he ought at least to keep his head on his shoulders and do it properly. If you really love this man, you shouldn't be so harsh on him or threaten to leave... I understand you would also be putting your future on the line, but these are things that need to be talked about and discussed, not on an individual approach. After a three years relationship, this goes for him as well!0