Girls, , My ex-girlfriend is sending mixed signals. What should I do?

I was dating a girl for about 5 months, things seemed to be going great, or at least I thought. She introduced me to her mom a few weeks ago, invited me to Thanksgiving, and mentioned she wanted to move in together this spring when her lease ends. About 2 weeks ago, she asked me to stay at her place 3 nights. On the third night we went on a double date with her friends, and on our way home, she suddenly tells me that she isn't sure how she feels about me and is worried that she thinks her feelings should be stronger for me by now. After telling me this, she asks me if I want to stay the night. Then she calls me the next day to ask if I was avoiding her (I was respecting her need for space). She then calls me a couple of more times during the week. Then this weekend she stops by my house to bring me some of my stuff that I had left at her place. While she is at my place, she straddles me and starts kissing me. Then she asks me out to dinner, where she asked me to kiss her multiple times. The next morning she calls me to tell me she is still unsure how she feels about me. What should I do?

Any thoughts on why she is sending mixed signals?

Why would she want to spend time with me and would kiss me if she is unsure about me?

Should I just not contact her? She is starting a new job on Monday so I am not sure if I should wish her luck or wish her a happy Thanksgiving next week.

I care about her and would like her back in my life but not sure how to get her back.

Do I try to talk to her or just try to move on?


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What Girls Said 2

  • This is what I Always Refer to on Here, dear, as this "Full Circle Problem Pattern," Where she is Going around in Circles with you, Coming back to the same Whack... Mixed Signals, which is What is Happening in your own case.
    She is Hot and Cold, and is also a Fickle Pickle who should Not be in any Real Relationship. You are goingto only face her own Head and Heart games with her Pulling on your Heart Strings and Things and End up Hurt Every time down the Love Line.
    Stay Friends for now. Stay Clear, dear, of any Kissing, and Maybe with some Missing, she will Realize one Day that you are Not just some "Jump in the Hay" or someone she Can just Put on her Back Burner to Keep your own Desire on Fire.
    Wish her Good Luck and Happy Holidays and all that, but Keep it Light and Semi Sweet. Let her See that she Needs to "Get you Back," and maybe Being the Juiciest apple way at the Top of the Tree hardest to Get and to Grab, she may Bite one day. xx

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    • 23d

      Thank you for the feedback. It is confusing when she tells me that I am everything she wants in a guy and how great I treat her and she knows that I was looking forward to a future with her (I would tell her how I felt when she brought up the topic). When I asked her why she was having doubts, she would just say "I don't know. This always happens. I just know I should have stronger feelings by now." So that makes me feel lost when I talk with her. The other frustrating part is that she and I briefly dated earlier in the year. She broke things off for an unknown reason. She then contacted me about a month and a half later after running into me in the city. One time I was on a date when we passed each other on the street, she then proceded to text me to ask me if I was on a date. The next time we ran into each other on the train, where she initiated conversation. why would she pursue me again if she was unsure about how she felt about me?

    • 22d

      She wants you, yes, in her life, but only at her own Convenience. And when she is "Sure" One day, tomorrow, it is a "Nay." She is hot and could because one minute it is looking good with a relationship and the next, it goes bad, when she does something else in another Sad direction because she is not actually Ready nor Raring.
      I would either stay clear or make it clear what you want or just stay a Friend in the End. xx

  • she confused about the relationship you guys are into... talk to her and tell her how you feel about the way the relationship is going

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