Is my relationship healthy?

I'm not happy in my relationship. My boyfriend doesn't open up to me, but opens up to other people. He doesn't emotionally express himself, and when I am asking for emotional support he can't give it to me. He only wants to make me happy and for us to always be happy. After we argue, he comes back the next day like nothing happens and always wants to hang out. When I tell him that I don't like how he doesn't tell me everything, he says that he doesn't tell everyone everything so he then asks me what makes me any special or different? He tells me if I cannot handle that he doesn't tell me everything and that he doesn't open up to me, that I "know where the door is". I cannot handle how he doesn't want to compromise. I can't have his trust that if he couldn't tell me something that would bother him now, that he would at least tell me later. I lack emotional intimacy with this man. I don't know if I'm over reacting.


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What Guys Said 1

  • There is definitely some incompatibility here and you'll just have to decide if this is the type of relationship that you want to tolerate. There are several issues that you talk about that stand out. First is the one about arguing. A lot of people cool off really quickly after an argument and don't need to drag disputes on and on and on. Your boyfriend might be one who thinks that the issue you describe is closed and you're trying to continue to bring it up just for the sake of drama. However, the point that bothers me most is the "I know where the door is" statement. This is a pretty disrespectful stance for him to take.

    Anyway, I don't think this is a bad guy and I don't think all of the problems are his fault, but I do think that his rigid point of view makes this relationship one where you're going to need to decide if you want to put up with this or if you want to move on as I don't see you two compromising here.

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    • 16d

      That's exactly how he takes it as, that I bring up things for the sake of drama when nothing from the argument gets solved. He always says this during our arguments that I "know what to do" if I'm other py. But then he's also the first to initiate a break up until I say sorry.

What Girls Said 3

  • I guess it just depends on what you want out of a relationship- if your ok with him not opening up then it's not an issue but it seems like it's bothering you.
    The comments about you not being any different to anyone else is a worry - because you are different, you're meant to be his partner and that comes with extras.
    Personally this would be a deal breaker for me - I need to be able to argue and know that we'll resolve the issue or come to a compromise otherwise it just festers and I completely blow.
    Do you know what you want/need and are you getting it?

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    • 16d

      He said, "He said, "You can have your cake and eat it too. I like making you happy and feel special and important cause you are special and important to me." We have an amazing ass chemistry and we have been together 2 and a half years. He had promised that he would work on opening up more, but I don't think I see it. He said there's a difference between forcing someone to open up and letting them do it on their own.

  • Go with your instinct. The whole point of a relationship is for both of you to enjoy each others company; believe me, I've gone through a relationship like this and I got out before I got hurt anymore. Go with what you think is best. Good luck and my best wishes. :)

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  • No its happy

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