Do guys realize how they affect girls?

Do guys think about the things they do and how it would affect a girl they are with or really rocking with for the time being? Do they even care if it hurts them and if so, why don't they do something about it?


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What Guys Said 18

  • Men and women are VERY different, and we have different priorities and perspectives. Some things that I bet, deep down in your mind, you are SURE that guys MUST feel just like you do about - they actually don't. You've only ever been a female, with a female's perspective, so it's hard for you to understand a male's perspective (and it's no easier for guys to understand a girl's perspective either!).

    But to answer your question: mostly NO, they don't realize it. Most guys probably can't grasp the depth of the feelings that girls often have, or the complexity of those feelings. Guys' feelings are generally simple, and can be expressed using single, ogre-like words: hungry, sleepy, horny, bored, angry, happy. Women need PARAGRAPHS (at least) to explain their feelings in all their many layers, and guys just don't understand - it's too complicated for us and we lose interest.

    That doesn't make us bad or good - just VERY DIFFERENT.

    This was NOT an easy set of ideas for me to accept either, but when I finally did so in my early 20s, my relationships with women improved dramatically. When I stopped expecting them to want the things I wanted and think the way I thought, and learned how different the female perspective really was, I began relating to women differently and had different expectations from them (realistic ones!), and things were much, much easier.

    Guys are MUCH simpler than girls - far more simple than most women can easily accept - but once you DO accept that truth, and recalibrate your expectations of us, you too will have a much easier time dealing with the opposite sex.

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    • 19d

      I'll definitely keep that in mind. Very interesting.

  • It depends on the guy and it depends on the girl. Some girls and guys look for different things. Some girls and guys, look for and enjoy one night stands. Some girls and guys like a steady sexual relationship but when attachment comes, they bolt. Some girls and guys do not like to be bolted down, they like the freedom to live as they please. Examples of this include r3.cltampa.com/.../...fuck_buddy_movie_posters.jpg Now if you are referencing something different, men don't feel emotions like women do. It is a blessing and a curse. So in a way, we don't know how we affect girls. Our limited emotional base can only get us so far. Now some men are just jerks, plain and simple but some men can't achieve full emotional awareness. Sometimes we think we know how to handle relationships, current or break ups, the truth is, sometimes we don't. Our mind is limited to our own thoughts of how we think it will turn out, but the fact is, our mind is now the mind of what girls go through.. does that help or make any since?

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  • Guys think about things as much as girls think about things, we just might think about different things in different ways at times. Girls are just as capable of being cold, hurtful, inconsistent and cruel. For every jerk of a guy there is a jerk of a girl out there. Being a dick is a human problem, not a gender issue.

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    • 19d

      yea i know i was just asking. I just wanted to know do they think about how the bad things they do may affect a girl n her mindset.

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    • 19d

      I don't believe in karma in the sense of a force of justice. What I do believe is that people who do shitty things often repeat that behaviour and sooner or later it catches up with them. They bring about their own downfall through their actions, by pushing their luck too much.

      Try not to hold on to anger or thoughts of revenge, they are cancerous and only serve to keep you in the situation that you want to forget. As long as you feel anger towards a person you are their prisoner. The moment that you don't care one way or another you are free.

    • 19d

      Amen to that word. You are so right. Well said.

  • There are men out there that do in fact care, but like many things of value, they are rare. Try not to give up, you might be surprised when you find the right guy when you are looking the least. I know that seems very contrary, but it seems this is how things often work out.

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    • 19d

      I totally agree. It's crazy because i was watching some Iyanla episodes and one young lady said men taught her that they can leave with no explanation and don't value women. I'm not going to give up, but it's hard and very scary having to start over and not know if the outcome will be good or bad.

    • 19d

      Well I'm afraid that is a part of life, we never know how some things are going to turn out. The good news is you do have some control over who you spend your time with. :-)

    • 19d

      I agree to that.

  • Good men do. Alas, not every man is a good man.

    I'm sorry to say that at your age, I found many people, men and women alike, were rather selfish and self centered.

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    • 19d

      Right. Doesn't it ever catch up with them or some may even try come back into your life whether they've changed or just to create more mess in your life?

    • 19d

      Well, if by "catch up with them" you mean they get some sort of bad karma or comeuppance, sometimes yes; sometimes no. Listen, karma is at best unreliable. I would never count on it. Sometimes people who hurt us go on to have happy lives.

      It's unhealthy to waste time thinking about how they deserve justice. Better to just move on and concentrate on how you can be happier.

      As for them returning to your life, it's usually best not to let that happen.

      So, KareGo, what are you doing to make your life happier?

    • 19d

      Agreed. I'm actually alright. Just work and school have me occupied and I surround myself with goo friends and family who keep me sane.

  • guys tend to be more concerned about how they affect girls physically, and that's something that, in the average guy's opinion, maybe isn't something that girls spend enough time thinking about..

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    • 19d

      what about mentally and emotionally?

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    • 19d

      I don't just mean significance of whatever you told them about - i mean significance of anything emotional at all. It's hard for men to learn just one thing without learning everything else there is too it. I used the language analogy above, but it is very much like learning a whole different language.

    • 19d

      I know guys aren't as emotional as women and some detach themselves from it, but everybody has feelings.

  • Yes, most guys do but it's hard to do the right thing.
    A lot of women say one thing but mean the other. Show that they are happy when they are not. Like things that they really hate, etc, etc.

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    • 19d

      Right, I've seen that many times. For those females who actually voice how they feel and what they don't like, then what?

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    • 19d

      No, she laughed so hard she would say "STOP, I can't breathe". She changed.

      My wife is actually not a good example for this though because she went cold on me then she unrealistically just hates everything about me. Mainly because she wanted out. I've always been naturally skinny and on the last year we were together I told her I was thinking about dedicating myself to fitness and she responded "what's the point. Who cares, you are over 30".
      Then when I did I went from being boney to very cut. I got the 8-pk, chest. I WAS looking good, then I would ask her once every 3 months and she'd always say "meh, nothing has changed on you. your arms are a tiny bit bigger"
      Yeah... I was 121lbs before and by then I was 165lbs

      There was nothing I could do to get her to be ok.

      Haha, I remember starting to listening to country music and watched her seem to HATE country music suddenly. :)

    • 19d

      yea she's cold.

  • Of course... We're not animals

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    • 19d

      lol yea ok. On a serious note, do they ever address the situation the girl may have been trying to address at the time whatever situation happened?

    • 19d

      as for me i love my girl so much more than myself more than my whole life but do you know whats the most funniest thing she is the one who first approached me then i started liking then loving her then after i went after a while then i came back then all of a sudden when i wanted to hug her she pushed me and the worst thing was she told me when did i ever like you i was so heartbroken but i begged her i just couldnt leave her alone my love is just so unlimited and strong so after time she said she started liking me and recently loving me but we are far away from each other and to be honest im afraid while im away what if she is just playing on me i mean at first she did that to me and now there is not guarante if she won't repeat it right? besides we are both virgins guys care but mamy lie and dont care bth women/girls most of them are fake materilastic decieve men. Im too doubtful too about my girlfriend how can i be sure that she isn't playing on me as a fellow girl help me

    • 19d

      @abayeabe um honestly you will never know, you have to trust. You have every right to feel doubt if she was doing stuff before. If you all are together now, you both need to come to a mutual agreement and talk about the things you expect, like, dislikes, and so forth. Most of all trust has to be built and that important, but it will definitely be hard and she has to prove she's trustworthy just as much as you.

  • I don't care but if you wanna help boost our egos and tell us that our world evolves around you women then be my guest. get over it you had a bad relationship quit being a bitter sour puss.

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    • 19d

      It was just a question, You can go now thanks.

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    • 19d

      Who wouldn't from an evil succubus like you? You're the one who is hurt so hurt that you had to post a question about it.

    • 19d

      you have to be a jackass ass to come and judge me as if you know me.

  • I am a believer that most guys are assholes sometimes but its because they aren't in touch with their own emotions and lack self control

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  • Who says I have negative affect on them ?

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    • 19d

      It was just a question don't take it personal.

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    • 19d

      Personally... I don't ever go back period , or allow anyone to come back for seconds. I'm quite aware of my status and abilities to find some different very quickly. Ironically , after I broke up with them , ide end up finding someone who was so much better anyhow. So if things got alittle out hand... ide pray you'd find the door super quick.. so I could go out and find a better one instead. Strange but true. When someone takes The liberty to (not) listen to your immediate concerns , they could care less about you. People who fear you are not your friend.

  • Can you give an example? I been hurt by girls too.

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    • 19d

      Lying about having a girl or hiding information that you should know. It's either you can tell the person they get mad and leave room to heal and come back or lie and make them really leave and not ever come back.

    • 19d

      Dishonesty. I hate that

    • 19d

      I have the same thoughts

  • I have never affected a woman.

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    • 19d

      just a question.. everyone knows at least one person who has done someone wrong

  • what kind of guy are you with

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    • 19d

      I'm not with anyone at the moment. At one moment, something like that did happen to me. This guy chased me for years and I just wanted to be friends and when I actually liked him. I found out things that I should have known years ago and he started to treat me bad like he never was after me. It was like begging for a chance and when you finally get the chance, you don't want it and waste people's time by not being honest.

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    • 19d

      he didn't hide it
      that's how he is lol

    • 19d

      You're right. Whoever he is dealing with and I bet I know who. Good luck for the years of hurt you've had and soon to come.

  • Depends on the guy, and how he feels about you.

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    • 19d

      Right. If he's been after you for years and then you decide let me finally give him a chance and he changes on you, then what? Why waste years of all that and the person actually is trying to give you a chance you wanted.

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    • 19d

      If you figure it out write a book and make a million $$.

    • 19d

      lmaoooo wil do

  • Girls hurt lol women play all the mind games

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    • 19d

      lol guys too

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    • 18d

      Could this be cause she's 18 and I'm 25 is this all just a game to her

    • 18d

      It probably could be and she's young and seem inexperienced or at least not mature enough to realise the good person you are and the signs she's sending out.

  • Yeah we do care about girls feelings obviously.

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    • 19d

      lol what you mean obviously. If all of you do, then why do some of them do such hurtful things?

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    • 19d

      Girls also lie so what's wrong
      Ultimately we give them good sex dose to make up

    • 19d

      lmaooo that doesn't help the situation

  • yes but we don't care, most women like loud obnoxious turds

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    • 19d

      oh no honey. Not I. I want no parts of that. Even when you're reasonable and try to fix things, soe guys just don't care. The moment the person who has been hurt doesn't care, That's when the guy starts to care.

What Girls Said 2

  • Yes guys care. That's extremely ignorant to say they don't. Obviously there are some fuck boys out there who couldn't care less but majority of me do care

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    • 19d

      Right i agree. the fuck boys will soon be fucked for fucking over people sadly.

  • I guess they think we think like them. Without as much emotion and sentiment

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    • 19d

      Same thing I wonder. They have emotions just like us and it's weird that we can get hurt so many times and still try and some of them would get hurt once and the world ends for them. They change for the worse and never hope for better even when better comes.

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