How can you get over your insecurities?

I'm a very insecure person in my life and I feel like I need to have a girl in my life but deep down inside I know I don't want one and I should just focus on myself. Many many many girls have told me I'm insecure so I know that and I know it's a really bad thing, but how can I get over this feeling? Whenever I'm rejected I always think I'm doing something wrong and I get depressed. Any thoughts? What are your experiences?


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What Girls Said 15

  • I'm not an expert nor a professional on psychology but I don't know cuz I'm not an expert but u could surround yourself with positive, creative people and their energy will rub on to u. Look at yourself in a mirror and just praise yourself. Write all the things that are good qualities on u. Or have ur friends tell u those qualities are. Speak to ur "inner" child and just tell them that u will stop hurting that child from now on. And if u ever remind yourself ur insecurities, just tell ur self that there is a billion people in this planet this "insecurity" someone has it before, or someone has it worst than me. I tell myself when I do something emberrasing or I am not confident enough in a new environment/people. I tell myself this: "this feeling is momentary, they don't know my insecurity because as soon as this event is over they will go on with their lives and will forget about mine" so I just laugh it off and always smile so the "negative" feeling goes away as soon as I smile and stand high.

    Again I'm no expert. But u could try this? Ik is hard but is a step I must take. Because in the end of the road. Everyone has one goal which is: Happiness. 💕

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    • 16d

      Thank, I really appreciate it

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    • 16d

      It's just so hard right now, I'm confident that I'll eventually make it through this but it's like I've given up on myself and finding love.

    • 16d

      Don't give up just yet, the future is uncertain and the pain is temporary. U own it to urself to be happy. That is most important :)

  • I use to feel like this. I was very insecure about myself. And I did things and dressed in a way that got me attention from men. Untik one day I got tired of doing that and just stopped. I stopped caring about what others think. I dont compare myself to other women. I dont even look their way because I know those thoughts will come back where im comparing myself to them. Also, as far as relationships. I stopped dating for right now. I use to be desperate to find a boyfriend. And would literally go searching and chasing until I realize that I was doing most of the work to get a guy and to hold on to them and they didn't feel the same way. Its funny because now that i seem uninteresting in dating and relationships, seems like men want me more now.

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    • 16d

      Thanks, yeah I guess I'm just waiting for that click moment in my head for me to turn away from this. I know that when I try to focus on myself it feels great but I always get nocked back into this cage. Just seeing a girl on TV, online, at campus, or anywhere knocks me back.

  • I wish I i'd know how to do that too... I am working on my confidence though. What I am doing now is to express myself without caring about what others think about me. It's actually nice. You will feel better. You have to still be nice with people around you though.

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  • I deal with insecurities and depression too and i think its best if you focus on yourself and love yourself first before trying to make a relationship work

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  • Figure out what u like about urself, even if it's something SUPER small and seemingly insignificant. It can be either a skill or a personal feature, ANYTHING. And just OWN IT. Say to urself whatever u like about urself and share it with the world, show it off. Be happy with it. And eventually you'll be comfortable enough in yourself to step out of ur comfort zone and do even MORE things and be happy with urself in MORE ways

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  • You know what? You need to tell all those girls to take a hike. Oh and insecurities? Just remember that everyone has insecurities that they are either aware of... or try to run away from. Just face your insecurities like a man and think about how to use them to make yourself a stronger person.

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  • There are certain insecurities I have, that I will never get over.
    But the ones I can work on, I try to improve every day.

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  • By fixing them till you're okay with it. I used to hate how I looked so I lost weight and learned how to wear makeup till I liked it. It usually helps.

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  • Work on the things making you insecure.

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  • I'm a girl and I have the exact problem with men, I always feel insecure and lesser then others but I am getting therapy and it's really helping. Nothing serious just a chat every week maybe look into it? They'll make you come to conclusions about yourself

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  • Find someone that'll make all of your insecurities go away, or just try to better yourself

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  • Therapy.

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  • Don't think about them. Seriously, you only have insecurities if you think about them. So stop.

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  • I feel like I'm one of the most insecure people ever. I always talk down about myself or a feel it if I don't say it. It's definitely affecting my dating life... a year ago since I decided not to kill myself, I figure the next best thing is to love myself. It's definitely a daily process but it helps me. Embrace who you and what others see as your flaws. I'm sure that there's a girl out there that'll love you for them. It's easier said than done but an example of how I do this is that I figure out why I am the way I am or why I do the things I do. When I understand the reason, I tend not to judge myself so much because things come from a good place. Learn how to accept your flaws and start excusing yourself for your mistakes.

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  • yo have to say in tour mind that you are the best and you can do everything , Hear motivational music and surf yourself with supportive people.

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What Guys Said 5

  • You can't love another person until you learn to love yourself. It's like a pyramid. You are the base and you can't build any higher until the base is complete. I am going through the exact same thing right now and what worked best for me was taking a moment to really search my mind for what it was about myself that was less than ideal. Hair color - Searched forums and found it wasn't as important as I thought, Body type - Went to the gym and began to craft the body I felt the sexiest in, Appearance - I looked to tutorials on the internet and found the best way to dress and groom for my body type and facial structure (such as not wearing round glasses with a round face), my path in life - Looked at the alternatives and found that my current path would open the most doors in the future making change easy if I wanted it, Connections - I searched my campus for clubs and parties that I could participate in, Girls - Joined NoFap to try to make my sexual attraction focus on real girls instead of pixels on a screen.

    tl:dr It is up to YOU to fix or appreciate who you are. Find your faults and approach them head on instead of accepting them as permanent. You don't have to change anything about yourself but you do need to realize who you are and how it affects your persona. Good luck, friend! :)

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  • I used to feel just as insecure, always wondering if there was something I did wrong, or am I just unlucky, or what if this and what if that. The way I got over it was by just understanding that it's not always my fault but just an unfortunate situation. Stop wondering about what you could have done or if there is something wrong with yourself and have fun.

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  • Stop revolving your life around what girls think.. Take the time to remember what you have done to feel good about yourself. Without a concrete stability you will just get crushed again and again..

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  • Just start hitting the gym everyday and eat healthy. Maybe it's cliche but trust me you'll feel a lot better after a couple months.

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  • By realizing that in a few years I'll be dead and no on will remember or care about all the things that make me insecure now, as a matter of fact it doesn't matter to 99.9% of all humans who'll probably never know i existed.

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