Would you date someone even if your parents were against it?

Okay, the guy I like has pretty much told me he's also interested, but we both know full well that my parents would flip their lids if I dated him. He's 7 years older than me, and I'm turning 19 soon, he's already starting to lose his hair (bad genes I suppose), he is not in college, and probably never will go even though he wants too. He just can't afford it. He's a recovering alcoholic with a restricted driver's license. He's certainly got a dad's bod going for him.

But he's so good to me! He makes me laugh, and when I'm at work, I can be totally upset, but the second I see him I'm happy all over again. While he teases me a lot, he also treats me like a little princess pretty much. I mean I could go on and on about all his good qualities. He's hard working, and honest, and self aware... he realizes he's not the type of guy that men want their daughters dating. He's a good man, he's just made some stupid mistakes.

  • Yes
    39% (36)56% (38)46% (74)Vote
  • No
    13% (12)21% (14)16% (26)Vote
  • Depends
    48% (45)23% (16)38% (61)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|0
10|24

What Guys Said 24

  • Everyone deserves a second chance, believe me, I've had a few myself, but you're 19, and he's 26, and he doesn't seem like he's really going anywhere in life. He may make you feel like a princess now, and for someone your age, I'm sure you feel like you've been through it all, but don't make a mistake that you'll regret ten years from now. Trust me, I was married for 9 years to the wrong person. Now I wish I had my twenties back.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 15d

      Well see I KNOW I haven't been through it all, I've only ever even been on ONE date in my LIFE. And in the end, I did not kiss the dude. So I'm pretty much totally innocent when it comes to any such things. I don't know what I'm doing, but it just feels so right :/

    • 15d

      Well, I would tell you to think about it, but it sounds like you made up your mind. Good luck, I may be wrong.

  • I dated who I wanted, and my parents rarely knew who I dated.

    However I can see why your parents are concerned. You should be concerned also. The thing that bothers me is recovering alcoholic. If he goes off the wagon, and there's a very good chance he will, it could be hell for you. If he goes off the wagon, all his other qualities might go out the window.

    If he really was an alcoholic, and not just a heavy drinker, I'd be very leery about him if I was you. The other stuff I wouldn't care about. But alcoholic is not something to take lightly. You can't say it's in the past because you don't know that.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 15d

      I don't know how bad it was, I didn't know him when he was. But he's been doing pretty good, but after I found out about it I have been watching him for a bit now

    • Show All
    • 15d

      I think he's trying to save. He's always getting on me about how important saving is, and he's always telling me I should go to college (I really don't wanna) among other things, I don't know, but telling me that stuff and actually doing it himself is different I guess

    • 15d

      Sometimes people don't want others to make the same mistakes they did. Well, almost everyone is like that.

  • My parents used to resent it if I associated mysef with non-asian girls.

    But I didn't give a fuck, and I just started being with white girls. Then they just gave up and accepted that they'll have Eurasian grand children 😂😂😂

    1|0
    0|0
  • Honestly, it's not a deal breaker... BUT

    Sometimes when we like someone we overlook their negative features. If you find that both family and friends don't like him, it's quite possible that there's some red flags that you're missing. At the end of the day you have to do what makes you happy but keep in mind if you're noticing a pattern with lots of people not liking him chances are there's a reason for it.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 14d

      Well all my friends love him, and he has a lot of friends too on his own. Now they've met before but I'd never really seen them interact, but I was talking with my BEST friend, and he came over because he was just kinda passing by and was saying bye to ME, and he stopped for a minute and they joked around a bit, then after he left she kinda bragged on him and told me something funny he said on another day. But neither of them even knew the other's name XD

  • My parents can turn in their graves all they want!

    1|1
    0|0
  • Nobody will ever be as invested in your life as you. Only you know what is best for you, and that entails learning from your own choices. The only way you will ever truly learn is through making your own decisions, taking full responsibility for them, and that way if you do fail, at least you can learn from it wholeheartedly, as opposed to blaming somebody else.
    It’s important to recognize that someone’s opinion is often based on what they would do. This alone is the problem. What is best for somebody else, can be the worst thing for you. What one person considers garbage can be another person’s treasure. We are all so unique. Only you know what is right for you.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I wouldn't. Not because he is a bad guy, but from your description it doesn't seem like you're with him because of how hot he is (short-term thing)
    And for long term, your family's feelings towards him can make or break the relationship.
    The age difference is somewhat of an issue too. You want to be with someone who grows with you. You want someone whom you can experience things together, the age difference makes that a bit difficult.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 14d

      Well but plenty of people can get past age, it's been done before?

    • Show All
    • 14d

      How's your relationship with them? do you plan on keeping in touch after you get out on your own?

    • 13d

      Currently I'm just sick of them, I don't like them, they don't like me, but I'm trying to move out ASAP, and THEN I will keep in touch with them. I do love them, but it's one of those situations where we'll all be better a little apart

  • My parents can pretend to know me but I have a past of making myself emotionally distant from them. I would defiantly take their advice into consideration but it is always up to me. I know me best and nobody should have full control over determining what is best for me.

    I love my parents to death but it's my life not theirs.

    0|1
    0|0
    • 15d

      See that's kinda how I feel

    • 15d

      What they want is for you to be happy and this guy has not yet proven to them that he can do that. They are scared of the pain you will feel if this relationship bites you in the ass. Best thing you can do live your life and if it doesn't work out then learn from it and move on. Good Luck :p

    • 15d

      True, I'm young, if it doesn't go well then it's like "well I'll probably still be young"

  • I dont get along with my parents, so I don't really care what they think.
    In fact, I dont care about what a lot of people think, because no one wants YOU to be happy. They want you to make THEM happy.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Based on girls that my parents suggested I ask out, their ideas of what kind of girl I would want have pretty much nothing in common with mine.

    On the other hand, they would be pretty open to whoever I dated as long as she was basically a nice person, and not manipulative or addicted.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm sorry to say it, but you shouldn't be going out with him. There are plenty of guys who will treat you just as well as this guy, and are the same age and good looking.
    You're young. Don't settle for a guy who only has half the traits of a good guy. Watch out for people with questionable pasts. Not doing so invites their issues into your own life, and that's not fair to you. Trust me, I have personal experience it has almost dating someone with severe personal issues. It's a bad idea.

    2|0
    0|0
  • No I would not I listen to my parents

    0|0
    0|0
  • Depends on what their points are.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Why do I need anyone's approval. I'm a grown up adult and I can make my own decisions.

    As for your situation, that guy seems like a crash down. I'd avoid him with these bad habits.

    0|0
    0|0
  • it's my life. my parents don't have to decide on who I wanna be together with

    0|1
    0|0
  • -------No--------This guy/girl is not a special one. But for a very special person , I can go against my parents wishes.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't date someone regardless of whether or not my parents were against it because I'm asexual/aromantic.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Yes.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes. It's my life and I'll make the choices for it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • my family approval means nothing to me. but he has no future and never will.

    0|1
    0|0
  • i've been exposed to a lot of the wrong people-so i'm good at reading them

    0|1
    0|0
  • The only person i think my mom would be against me dating is another boy so no i wouldn't

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like it might be a surface daddy situation

    0|0
    0|0
    • 15d

      *sugar

    • Show All
    • 15d

      He could give you other thing and stuff beside a money benefits

    • 15d

      No, all I want from him is his love and affection

  • If my parents were against it, it's probably for good reason. They have very good judgement lol.

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 10

  • 1.) Fuck his parent's
    2.) I'm not dating his parent's
    3.) Y'all are grown, either make decisions for yourself that make you happy or forever try to please people who will never be please with 95% of YOUR choices. They've made mistakes and over come them same as you, cause at some point... you have to woman up and live for you. Even if it doesn't work out... you will know how to handle the situation better next time in your relationship. The do's and don'ts of what you will accept and what you will not.
    4.) My parents can't give me advice on who to be with until they listen to their own damn advice, it'll be the blind leading the blind. I'd rather take a chance and learn on my on if it'll work or not. Experience is a mf, but a good one at that.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I try TO convince them. If they are really against it even after I praised the guy I trust my parents' feelings and position.

    0|1
    0|0
  • My father is really racist he will prefer me to date someone who's is French, White catholic and twice my age than a Chinese or Polish guys so...
    I want to make them happy and respect their wishes but if I really love him an him too then I ll continue to date him.
    It too really depend on why they are against (race, nationality, religion or for his personality) if it's his personality I think I will listen to them. they can see easily is someone is a good person or no.

    0|1
    0|0
    • 12d

      Yeah, the Bible seems to imply that staying away from women, will make you live a happy life.
      Old people with the racism and sexism and genocide. They pull shit, and then justify it, making them look like the good guys when they are all psycho.

      Polish people smell funny, have you noticed that? I think it is their food. They have a distinct smell like the blacks, indians and chinese people.

    • Show All
    • 12d

      @MustNotAgree All is doing in Romania and Bulgaria sometime from Spain too (shoes generally) because it's cheaper than doing it in third world (collection of clothes change every 2 week so they cant' make them in China for exemple because it's too far and clothes make too much time to go in France).
      Computer and all is made in china, Korea or Japan. Depend the brand like apple is made in China and samsung is made in Korea.

    • 12d

      The Romains and Bulgerians are so concerned with their "race pride", that they'll make their people live in poverty and work for peanuts, rather than do business with India and China.
      Look how far they've fallen behind. The issue is with the older generation, their ideals and inability to work with superpowers that are clearly capable is destroying their society. It isn't about race anymore.

  • It definitely depends. I want to trust my parents' judgements on this kind of thing but it is ultimately my choice and with careful thought and reasoning, I would date someone that I felt was a good match for me, even if he wasn't my parents' favorite. He could prove himself and they would grow to love him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • They have good reason to disapprove, but if your guy treats you well and he is trying to turn his life around, they should give him a chance. I would encourage him to better himself, though and continue to work on his sobriety.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I can see both sides of this.

    Do you parents absolutely have to know you're seeing this guy, though?

    0|0
    0|0
    • 14d

      I don't THINK so, I'm pretty good at hiding things, but it's like, I don't wanna hide him forever

  • Not sure.
    My family's approval means a lot to me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No I actually wouldn't

    0|0
    0|0
  • "If your parents don't like your significant other, hear them out! (They might just be right.)"

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...