Does anyone have any good books to read about dating if you are a girl looking for a real relationship?

I just want to be happy, have a good time, feel wanted, be pursued, and mostly be in control. I would also like to be in the power seat. I just want to be able to have these guys want me, and when I actually like a guy back for once, I want be able to keep him around. I want him to be interested in me and only me. Any books on how to do this?




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What Guys Said 9

  • lol while i dont see anything wrong with most of that in a healthy relationship, the control thing might limit some of ur relationships potential if u really want that. u should be more focused on being happy, having fun, and wanted, and of course both of u likeing each other, trusting and all that shit. if u start throwing in weird side stuff, u can be killing off potetnially good bfs for silly reasons.

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    • 17d

      Yeah, I mean the control thing was the wrong word to use. By you saying that I killed off a potential good relationship I think I did too. I just asked for a relationship too soon. I didn't mean too. I think I deserve another chance with the guy that I was seeing, but I don't think I'll get one. And I'm really not trying to clingy or weird. I guess the dating world has just changed since 4 years ago. I recently got out of a 4 year relationship in June, and I started dating a guy 3 months ago, and he told me he would call me this week, but he stopped his daily texts and messages and I haven't really heard for him or hung out with him in a week. He said he wanted to take it slow this week, and he'd call me this week. He also unmatched me off of his tinder profile. I just didn't expect to feel this sad about someone I have only been seeing for 3 months. I really truly liked the guy, and now there is nothing to fix it. I'm on my way to be ghosted.

    • 16d

      3 months is reasonable to expect exclusively. that guy is a jerk. you deserve better girl!!

    • 16d

      ya 3 months is a relationship already. but yes, its weird out there. i can't comment much though as what im up to is complicated as hell and its hard to tell if im doing well or just beating my head on a wall ;)

  • Go by the 3 H's, Hookup, Hangout and Have fun. Enjoy the dating scene and if you do these three things, it will morph into a relationship.

    Don't be controlling or clingy though. Be yourself, have fun and it'll come to you.

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    • 17d

      That's good advice. My mistake was asking a guy to be too serious too soon after 3 months of dating. I only wanted to be "sexually exclusive", but I guess that was too much for him. He is kind of a jerk. So I was ghosted. I guess this was me being "too clingy" or "too controlling". Not sure. Honestly, I kind of don't think I deserved to be ghosted. I guess now I just took everything from something casual, and fun to a whole new serious level, and he might think that I'm too serious for him now, and that's nothing something we can recover from. I guess I'm just looking for a book on what not to do. I guess this relationship would have ended later, if not sooner. I really liked him. I am just really sad that it is over. He cancelled all of our plans last week, and told me he would call me this week. Something tells me by the way he stopped talking to me on daily basis last week on Tuesday that it is over. I already feel ghosted, and rejected. I guess I'm just hurt.

  • I recommend instruction manual of a dildo...😂😂😂😂

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  • no but i am interested in this too.

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  • Think like a man - Steve Harvey... I guess, was on Oprah

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  • If you don't have some serious status... then dream on

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  • Wuthering Heights

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  • Yes a years subscription to Play Girl

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  • be in control? manipulative psycho detected.. .

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    • 17d

      Lol. Control was probably the wrong word for it. I think everyone just wants to be wanted. I think as far as in being in control, I just wanted to have the decision or the upper hand in the relationship. It's always easier when you are dating someone and your significant other seems to like you more than you like him. I don't know if you ever had someone like you like this, but it feels pretty good, and it kind of makes you feel a little more secure in the relationship. I'm not saying this guarantees that it will work out or not. I just want to be wanted, and feel like I'm a priority and they really want to be with me. Yes, control is the wrong word. You really shouldn't be controlling anyone. It should be a mutual fun, kind of thing.

    • 16d

      no you are just a psycho like most women. there is never enough attention given to you. never enough love. never enough compliments. never enough personal time sacrificed. you want it all. and if you have it by some poor dude that falls in that tra then you are sick of it because "all is too much afterall"... .

    • 10d

      I think you may have been a person who has been hurt in the past. Not all relationships are like that. Not all women and men are psycho. There are a few good ones, not all are bad seeds. Try to stay optimistic.

What Girls Said 11

  • Okay here is what I suggest. Stop looking for books. Because everybody has their own views on how to get a guy. But you have to stop and look at yourself in the mirror first, and ask yourself this: Are you ready to date? Or even suitable as a dating partner? Are you happy single?

    If the answer is no to all of those questions, that is your problem.

    You want to be happy?: Be happy on your own. Nobody needs a partner who is miserable for whatever reason wrong in life, or because they don't have anybody. Loneliness is not a valid excuse to look for a partner, or else you will be considered unhealthy.

    You want to have a good time?: Show that you are happy and having a good time with your life period. A happy person attract's other interested and happy people. Or else you'll end up with duds that'll use you. Because they think just like you at the moment.

    You say all these things about what you want, but what you're really asking is: What good book will help me how to manipulate a man to desire me sexually. That is why nobody is looking at your direction. There are plenty of books that authors write no matter how crappy it is everywhere. But this is what you're not getting. You can NEVER make a man do something that they already do not want to do.

    You can't be in the power seat because it is not for you and for anybody to control. That is not how dating works. You can say how you want all these guys yet you don't have eyes for one person. What you're saying basically is that you want to string along men, control them, and make them only want you. They have free will. First get over your insecurities and learn to step outside and ask men out yourself that you feel and believe would make a great dating partner. Books are not going to help if you don't change your mentality first. No offense. But this is why you're single. And you don't even realize what you're doing to yourself is self-harm psychologically. Your way of thinking is going to attract those men who rape's, abuse and use women for sex because you're too easy and simple-minded. These guys KNOWS a woman wants to feel desired. But you can never make a man want to stay with a person who doesn't meet's his standards for a good woman in HIS eyes.

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    • 17d

      You assume you know too much about me based on a basic questions without much details. Just an FYI. I only wrote this question down, because the guy that recently rejected me was only not wanting a serious relationship because he was moving in the next year. I just wanted to see if there was a book on relationships. I made the mistake of asking him if he wanted to be exclusive after 3 months of dating, apparently I asked too soon, and got too "serious" too soon, and that was my mistake. I don't think I deserve to be ghosted especially if we were hanging out 3 times a week. To be honest I've never attracted a terrible man, abusive man. My room mate and I our honestly sad that he doesn't want to see me anymore. We had a lot of fun just hanging out. I am a pretty happy person generally. I was feeling pretty good about life. I just happened to get rejected, and hurts my ego a little bit. I just wanted to know if there was a book on what not to do, because I scared this guy away.

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    • 16d

      Your right !! Funny the down vote !!

    • 16d

      Opinion owner.

  • make them wait 3 months before giving up the goods.

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  • There is no books for that. What matters most is ur social skills, ur emotional and intellect intelligence. A book will not teach u about yourself and what u like and want in a relationship. U have to be u

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    • 17d

      A book won't teach you natural skills I agree. But reading and learning how other people think in general can open a lot of information and ideas you or I have never thought about. I like reading about things from other people's perspectives. I really do think if you either have it or not, books are interesting and I like to see view points from other perspectives. I don't know everything, and I'd really like to learn about something new.

    • 17d

      Lol that's true. I was thinking buzzfeed for some reason. I watch YT to learn more of relationships too.. and hearing them discuss then I develop my own opinions. (Called: AsktheFeels) and some videos of the Youtuber Shannon boodram. Altho I also learn from my friends when they ask me for advice

  • Before You Tie the Knot
    the first few chapters

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  • write what u want on google and u can have ur answer

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  • I don't like either but it's not rude if it's not staring.

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  • You either have it or you don't. No book can teach you that

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    • 10d

      I disagree, I'm open to learning anything. If you have been in a relationship for a long time, and are suddenly out of the dating field for like 3 years, things have changed. There's a lot of different social media platforms people use to communicate with. People don't date like they used too. There are apps like Tinder, Bumble, Facebook, Instagram... Etc. I don't think it's whether you have it or not, I think it's learning to adapt, and learning to use a situation to your advantage. And whether you have it or not I'm always up for hearing something new, or listening to a new idea.

  • Look up Matthew Hussey. He's got a bunch of YouTube videos and he's on Facebook. Good stuff.

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  • Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov

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    • 17d

      Thanks, I've actually read that one before. All of them like 6 years ago. lol. I remember those books being pretty good.

  • Anything John Gray... even his videos on youtube/TED talks. However, he has this short ebook that is free. Here is the link: vk.com/doc8069473_185691840 It is really great. You don't have to read it in order, you can skip around from the table of contents.

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  • Act like a lady, think like a man.. I've heard it's supposed to be really good. Never read it, but the snippets I've heard sound quite good.

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    • 17d

      I've got this book on my audible account. I had a co worker recommend it to me. I will be listening to this book pretty soon.

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