Constant fighting... What do I do to fix this?

So... Been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. That kind of love that's... amazing. Once in a lifetime, she's the one. But for the past few months all we've done is fight. Argue, bicker, really mean, out of nowhere fights. and the time that we've been okay just keeps getting shorter and shorter. We're fighting right now... after literally only two good days. I don't even know about what anymore... I told her I need space to figure this out but truthfully I don't know if it's going to happen... I need help. Some advice anything to how to approach this and fix this... I love her so much... But if this fighting doesn't ever stop... its no way to love. So if anyone could offer some clarity... it'd be much appreciated...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The first thing you need to do is figure out why you're fighting. Do you have any idea what's causing you both to argue? Has one of you recently been under a lot of stress? Anything at all that has changed since you started arguing?

    After that you need to sit her down and talk to her about it. I'm guessing she's a similar age? Tell her how much you love her. Ask her if she's happy with arguing like this and that you want to support her with anything that she's going through. Or if you're having issues then you need to tell her what's wrong, that you need her to be there for you.

    Most of the time arguments like these are due to outside influences. However, if you both find issues within your relationship then this is the area you need to work on. Agree to be completely neutral and ask her to do the same. Say what you're unhappy with, let her do the same and no react in a negative way. Difficult i know x But it will work.

    Relationships after the year mark require hard work, commitment and above all else, communication.

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    • 13d

      See we've done the whole sit down thing. We make up and everything's fine but then we eventually get back to this...

What Girls Said 3

  • Sometimes you hit a rough patch and fights happen. If you feel like she's the one I advice you to give it one more shot. Try a different approach to the problems and the way you fight.

    Something that my fiancé and I have realised is that it's extremely important how you go about and try to solve things. Always talk about it, talk calmly and express how you are feeling. Don't interrupt or mock eachother during that time with snorts or such things. Listen and try to see it from a different perspective, ask questions and imagine if things were reversed. Understand where you did wrong and apologise to eachother specifically for the things you've done and hug. Almost every fight you have you both have done something wrong and worth apologising for. Last but not least: work on it and then move on.

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    • 13d

      Thanks... I just feel like we've already done this. The whole been there done that deal, yet we always end up back at square one.

  • I had a phase like that with my boyfriend. In cases like this there are usually underlying problems/insecurities that are causing this. You need to sit down and be clear that you love her and you really want to make this work, but you need to figure out what's wrong and how to resolve this. Is there maybe something you say/do that unintentionally upsets/annoys her or vice versa? It could be minor things that cause things like that. Does either of you maybe need more reassurance in the relationship and that is what makes you extra sensitive and prone to arguing?
    In my case I was insecure about how my boyfriend felt about me and was getting super sensitive about everything and miserable and as a consequence complaining about him all the time, while he as a result was confused/tired of my complaining and constant problems he didn't understand. We actually ended up breaking up for few days, but then we got back together and when we did that we properly spoke about everything and opened up and since then we never had a similar problem again.
    Main thing is that you're completely honest, let her know how important it is to communicate and show her you are listening to her and taking her seriously. While you should let her know about the seriousness of the situation, you should also make it clear to her that you still love her and want to solve this situation and if she feels the same you should be able to talk it out.
    Good luck!

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  • ... This is exactly my situation. Including us being together for a year and a half. Like it's so similar I wonder if you're my boyfriend on anon lol.

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    • 13d

      Really? That's odd... except I don't think my girlfriend even knows what girls ask guys is.

    • 13d

      yeah we had our year and a half on the 15th lol

    • 13d

      Oh wow... 5th for us. Congrats.. for the year and a half not similar situation of course.

What Guys Said 1

  • Take control of the situation. You need to take control, but do exactly what she wants. You should know what she wants, so just do it. Happy wives make happy lives. Don't listen to these dweeb men rights activist. If she's being crazy and unreasonable, leave her and you'll be better off.

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