I've been with my boyfriend for a bit over a year and I think we just sort off got out of our "honeymoon phrase".“ We've always spent a lot of time together (at least 4 nights a week) and he's always needed more space for himself than I did. Lately we can both see that we're not as honeymoon-ey anymore, we get annoyed with each other easier, just being together and not doing anything is not as fun anymore and we just don't have as much need to be together 24/7 anymore. I can especially notice it with him, and he's said so himself, that we need to spend less time together because otherwise we start getting on each others nerves. I meanwhile still prefer to spend time with him rather than alone/someone else, although often I feel less "fulfilled" after spending the entire day with him, so I think I could use some space as well, even if I don't feel like I want it. We still have a lot of good days and very nice moments, it's just u know... less sort of intense? I tell myself thats supposed to be a normal thing and that all relationships have highs and lows, but it's my first long term relationship so I need some reassurance how much of it is normal? Because there's still some logic in my head that if you're in love with someone you would want to spend all your time with them? And I'm worried at what time is it "too much space" and we start growing apart?
Most Helpful Guy
You should be happy about this! I know that may come off as weird, but hear me out. You've just entered the power struggle phase of a relationship and it's probably the most important stage and really tests out the relationship, pass this stage and you two are most likely going to stay together for a very very long time. You've just now entered what a real relationship looks like, the honeymoon phase is mostly chemicals messing with your head.
You two need to communicate more and about actual real problems, the core issues and address them before they grow into something uglier like they're starting to. You should always know what the problem is, why it's a problem, and how it makes the other person feel. You need to understand that you're both individuals and your expectations for a perfect relationship are not going to always match up and that's okay as long as you perceive it as okay. You can't change core values or personality traits so all you can do is change your perception of the situation since that's what you can control. Your number one priority is keeping the relationship alive so when something does pop up that bothers you you need to speak up.
So yea best advice I can give you is to research proper communication skills in relationships and the 5 stages of relationships. Best of luck to you both!0
Most Helpful Girl
Relationships have ups and downs and if its not worth working for its not worth having. So i think this is pretty normal. Like anything else, relationships need balance and tha logic that tells you that you would want to spend all of your time with the other person isn't logic, thats some ideal about movie screen love thats been placed in your head. Balance to me means not only do you have your relationship, you have other things in your life... work, friends, personal goals and aspirations.1