Why is it some people get hurt and build walls around themselves no one else can get past?

You will prove that you love them, prove to them that they can trust you but that wall will not come down! why is this and what can be done?


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What Guys Said 2

  • People who have been traumatised by getting hurt will often try to protect themselves from getting hurt again. Their response to getting hurt might have been proportionate or it might have been entirely disproportionate, but people respond differently to the same events. Either way, the magnitude of the experience affects the way in which some people move forward. Shutting down emotions and isolating things which you cannot control is standard procedure.

    For most people it doesn't last, it is just a temporary phase that allows an amount of healing to take place. It may last for a year or two but it is unlikely to be permanent unless that person entirely removes themself from any social interaction.

    How you get past the wall is to be patient, to be consistent and to demonstrate that you can be relied upon. Only time can make those things concrete.

    You may not want to invest the amount of time that it might take. You would not be unreasonable for wanting more and wanting it quicker than it can happen. Every person who has issues trusting and loving has to understand that not everyone will want to take that on. Your boyfriend can expect to stay behind his wall indefinitely and yet still have a healthy relationship. He has to work with you to let you in.

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  • They haven't fully gotten over whatever caused it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Thats there way of not getting hurt again and to staying guarded. can't say that I dont blame them for being that way. Who wants to keep letting people in their lives only to get hurt over and over again. I think everyone should be cautious as to who they bring into their lives. Not everyone is deserving to know your whole life story.

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  • They're dispointed in people and the world in general. You have to try harder and show them you ll not abandon them

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