I was raised really strict and how should I deal with the world?

i am a 24 year old woman and i hate making mistakes, i know they are a part of life but when i make a mistake i get depressed, severly and very emotional, when i used to make a mistake when i was a child i would get beaten or yelled at or cursed at so as a result i became very strict on myself, almost to the point of not really ;living life because im too scared to make mistakes. I've moved out recently but how can i deal with this?


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What Guys Said 17

  • You are going to have to come to the realization that your parents were cruel, and it had a great influence on you. My parents were the same way but they got abusive, and it forever changed the way I think about God, people, and my life. It really screwed me up bad.

    I can tell you a personal relationship with Jesus Christ has helped me immensely, I can tell you jesus Christ is real, and if you cry out to Him, He will save you. We were made by Jesus, and He knows how to fix our damaged hearts and minds, our wiring, our wrong thinking. No psychologist knows you better than your Creator.

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  • Your age is wrong on the site...
    I was also raised to be ashamed of mistakes. Try to tell yourself you have to make mistakes to learn, so make jokes about your shortcomings and laugh at yourself. It's good therapy

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  • i think you should try and remind and re-enforce that mistakes are part of life. it doesn't make you a bad person but a human. allow yourself to make mistakes and know that making mistakes only means that you are human

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  • This is an example of how conservatives hurt their children, and is in my mind an argument against homeschooling.

    You are going to have to educate yourself quickly on how the world really works and unfortunately accept that you NEED to make a lot of the mistakes you were"protected" from making. Good luck.

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  • That sounds like a form of learned helplessness. Since there was no way to be successful in your household, you learned not to bother trying. You could also be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. The good thing is that you realize that you have this behavior and you know the cause. A good therapist could help, and so could a good friend.

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  • My story exactly... I'm very strict towards everyone and inclueing me... I need a lot of time deciding things and usually do not do things at all if failure is a possibility... Some answers proposed asking for Gods help? Didn't help me... I actually turned away from religion after god didn't answer my years long calls...

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  • Im too was raised the same way also i moved out in ur age i guess the best way is when i do make a mistake i tell myself that i never experienced this before so its okay to make this mistake
    Until now im hard on myself sometimes i dont sleep at night worrying about something would go wrong all the people told me to relax but i just can't

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  • just lit time flow

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  • One day at a time. Do something that scares you, nothing extreme, just something that you wouldn't do before. You'll find its not that bad. Mistakes are not always bad. Think of them as learning opportunities.

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  • oh man. i was in the same shoes...

    prefectly mannered, always loving, always cool and good to people

    itll hurt you like its hurt me but i battle to stay a good person though i do think I've changed and tweaked my ways a bit.

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  • Move forward and never look back

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  • Since you've moved out already, this should gradually become non-issue to you unless your parents are still issuing orders to you via the telephone or Skype.

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  • Have fun and live life to the fullest. Do not look back and have any regrets

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  • Everyone makes mistakes, it's part of hunan nature. No one is perfect at all.

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  • and you're 37? either way, suck it up.

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  • piece by piece, take it one day at at time

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  • Here's one of my favorite quotes:

    "It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly... who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at best, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." - Teddy Roosevelt

    You know who does everything right? Nobody. You know that not doing things is 'doing something' as well? There's no safe path. You have to take -reasonable- chances and learn from them.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Well, mistakes are something that you do want to avoid. That is not a problem. The point is simply learning to find out who you are as your own person, but smart and wise with your decisions. Growing up in a strict environment isn't a problem at all. The problem lies in HOW your parents were teaching you, not what you were taught. There was no need for you to go through domestic violence at home and be abused in that manner. You only take what you've learned from them, and do things one step at a time. Don't just get involved with any and everybody without evaluating them first. For not everybody is your friend, nor want to be your friend. People will use you because of your insecurities and ignorance of the world around you. So you need to always be alert and be prepared to deal with problems that can hinder you from living the way you need to live your life.

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  • I did too, I turned to God and Jesus and they showed me forgiveness and the way to live. The great thing once you believe in Jesus Christ, he wipes away our wrong doings and sins in baptism and with a clean heart and the word of God we can know how to live. If we make mistakes, we ask him for forgiveness and to guide us and we know it will be okay.

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  • Mistakes are part of life how will you get better at something if you don't fail and try again. Life is about making mistakes and learning from it. No one is perfect or born perfect we all make mistakes and it's okay.

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  • Just try to take it one step at a time

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