Is my boyfriend ashamed of me?

my boyfriend NEVER posts pictures of us together or me. we have been dating for almost 3 months. he has never introduced me to any of his friends either. (but i have not too). I want to post pictures of us together but i dont know how to ask him because it seems like he would not want me to. Once we were on a date and he saw his friend (a girl). he was so scared and kept trying to hide himself. i found out later that they once went on a date together. he has met my family several times but i have not met his before. once i used his phone to take a photo of us together and posted it on his social media. right after we parted ways, he deleted the photo. i talked to him about this and he said that he just likes to keep his life a secret and does not like to share too much information about himself. i dont know what to believe tho. his actions just makes me feel really insecure and unwanted. (especially because he's close to many girls). i wish he wld show me off to others and tell others that he's mine.

  • Yes, definitely.
    47% (25)30% (15)39% (40)Vote
  • No, he might have other reasons.
    53% (28)70% (35)61% (63)Vote
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Updates:
16d hi people saying that i might only be his side chick. the thing is he spends almost 24/7 texting me tho. and we are together a lot. could it be he's just ashamed of me because im ugly? because my appearance isn't that good.

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What Guys Said 19

  • while i understand the social media aspect u talk about... the hiding from people in PERSON is shady! especially since its another chick. i would be pissed as fuck. if i knew it was his friend i would of called out to them ;) hehe. ya cause im like that lol. i would accept the social media, but the other parts make it sound like he is an ass and then the media aspect also comes into question. what does he use his social media for then? does he really keep his life a secret? u pro need to get rid of him... sorry. u could try to talk to him about this before u get rid of him, but i would doubt that he changes. doubt he cares about u.

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    • 16d

      he has 0 photos on his social media. i think he uses it to just look at friends' photos.

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    • 16d

      u say ur ugly. being ugly is un likely. being fat... everyone wants a ride till ur friends see u... lol thats the joke. so if u are fat, then yes that could be it. but at ur young age, its very unlikely its because u are ugly. and even girls with "meh" faces can have very nice bodies by taking care of themselves. and i got bored of my first girlfriend and everyone was like she is so pretty... and my reply was... im not interested in her face, but everything else. reality is cold. and i did and still do care about her even now. but her body just wasn't up to keep me interested. nothing i could do about it.

    • 16d

      its sad thast in this digital era, insecurities like that immerged. if you loved him you shouldn't care about such societal superficialities. now if he doesn't WANT to introduce you in friends and family in real life, then i'd say there is INDEED something worrisome about this case... .

  • One question, why are you guys dating at 16, you're still kids, how about you just focus on school, learn those ABCs and less time on dating. You're too young to be going through all these heartache. Anyway, it clearly seems like he is not confident enough to go public with his relationship with you. It is up to you to decide If this is a dealbreaker for you, as it seems like you are the type of person who loves public displays of your relationships.

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    • 15d

      u probably couldnt find a girl when you were 16, thats why you are so cynical about this.

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    • 12d

      @bbch25 that is so true! plus dating someone younger than me right now would be a night mare but in the coming years, maturity will make age just a number

    • 12d

      @galblue183 at 16-20, no guy is thinking about anything serious in terms of emotional or social development with a girl. At that age, guys are raging with hormones and all we want is sex. You are joking If you think most guy at 15-20 seek relationships for self development. Those are the ages that most girls lose their virginities due to lies from boys that they love them.
      At that age, most girls are not mature enough to say 'NO' when a boy suggests sex.

      Why give sex to someone who will most likely be non-existent in a few time down the line. Why learn the hard way. Most guys just use girls who think they are in love for sex practice. Girls who are wise know this and abstain from relationships till they are more personally emotionally mature. Why do you think most girls come out of that age thinking that ALL guys are bad, girls don't have to learn the hard way.. Girls honestly don't need a relationship at 16 or even in high school at all. Be patient and wait till the time is right.

  • It's possible that you are definitely one of many several, and he only mentioned one other to you. He fears that those who know him will spill the beans about the ones he'd like to forget, convinced you'll think differently of him if you knew of those he'd like to forget.

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  • sounds like you're his "side chick," tbh.

    that or he's just really secretive. I'm like that, actually, so I'd understand. But I'm weird, so it's hard to imagine someone else out there is like that.

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    • 16d

      he told me he's weird too.

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    • 16d

      @supernerd99 LMAO what does that mean

    • 16d

      it means that people tend to call weird whatever is outside the norm. but the norm, the average societal retard, is far from an idol worth mimicking. i've seen people even posting sex pics on facebook. these are plain retards. should i do what they do? no of course not. if that makes me weird, werid it is then... .

  • Have you listened? He TOLD you why.
    He likes to keep his life private and doesn't feel the need to tell everyone about his life. I can wholly understand that guy. I am the same. I don't consider people online as being friends. I don't like them knowing what my life is like. That's none of their business and I am not interested in theirs either.

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    • 15d

      Of course, you had to make it all about yourself. Girls... *roll eyes* lol

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    • 15d

      Whose fault is it then?
      His actions aren't causing these, you brain is. YOU are the one imagining things. Your boyfriend has no control over this. How can it be his fault?
      It's ok you know, that doesn't make you a bad person or anything, but at least, be aware of what is really happening and don't delude yourself. Before you can fix things, you have to be honest enough to determine the real culprit.
      All your boyfriend is doing is keeping his life private. You are the one making up stories in your head even after he TOLD you what it was about. How can this not be your own doing?

    • 10d

      @JuicyBrain I fully agree with you. I've never posted a photo of any boyfriend on any social media, I'm not into that. Why should everyone know when you start a relationship, with whom, when you break up etc. You girl are too insecure and that's unattractive.

  • Being discreet and hiding it are two different things. And I think it's the latter. He's hiding you from something.

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  • He intends on just having sex with you and dumping you when he is tired of it. He doesn't want you to mess with any of his other options. I'd dump him immediately.

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  • i wouldn't assume he's ashamed.

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  • Are you sure you're not his side chick?

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  • How do you know he's ashamed of you? Maybe he's ashamed of himself, ashamed of how people might react, afraid maybe his friends/family/exes/whatever will somehow embarrass him.

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  • either a player or is super secretive about his personal life. as i am. never post personal pictures and info online. you never know when this stuff will be used against you. exactly the opposite of what most mindless kids do today. put all their lives even the most intimate parts online... .

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  • Back in my day since we didn't have facebook we would post a picture of us on a big sign on the front lawn so everybody would know we were together. Aaaaah the good old days... so romantic

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  • I'm like that. I'm not very into posting pictures on IG or SC, and I barely take selfies.
    The reason why he did that with the other girl when he saw her is probably because he thought that you could've gone mad with him, and he didn't want that.
    He's not ashamed of you, he's how he is and doesn't want to lose you.

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  • It's probably because he thinks people who post their whole social life on social media are annoying attention whores

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    • 15d

      Not shame

    • 12d

      Yeah but come on, just posting one picture, or changing a display picture to the two of you or something isn't "attention seeking". It becomes attention seeking when it's daily!

  • I'm the same way. I don't like putting my life out there for everyone who knows somebody, who knows somebody to see

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  • Yes I think so

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  • Yeah he's ashamed of you.

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  • Get married as soon as possible.

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  • Like I know sh*t? Post a f*cking pic if you are asking these kinda questions.

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    • 16d

      what's wrong with you? im just seeking for advices. dont like it? you know wheres the door.

What Girls Said 16

  • Some people just dont like putting their relationship business all online. People online are judgmental and tend to throw their opinions around when it is not needed. And there is also a factor that their are a lot of homewreckers who enjoy taking a man from his girlfriend.

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    • 16d

      but it is more possible that girls would hit on him thinking that he is single isn't it? and it annoys me that he's super closed to many girls, probably because they think he's single.

  • I've been with my boyfriend for near 7 months, and we live together. We have one picture together. It's not a big deal, and we're not ashamed of each other. It's one of those things that we both just don't really think or care about. I've also never really met any of his friends, he's only met maybe two of mine. We're separate entities that happen to be together, we don't have to dominant one another's lives.

    It's all good, he's not ashamed of you.

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    • 16d

      but doesn't that make you insecure. its like he doesn't want to show u out to anyone and he isn't proud of u. and girls would just hit on him because they dont know he's taken. i wish my boyfriend wld show me to everyone and make me feel secure and wanted.

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    • 16d

      no. he could be with me because he loves me. but when it comes to showing me out, he might be ashamed. because you know, im ugly.

    • 16d

      I think that's more within you than it is with him. If you're unsure, then you need to talk to him instead of rushing to conclusions.

  • It kind of seems like it but you're both very early into your relationship. My boyfriend and I don't really post much of our lives online either but when we were first dating it took him a while to share we were in a relationship etc. That was simply in the beginning and now we've been together for over two years. Just continue to be yourself and slowly win over his heart. Eventually he'll be more comfortable, but also don't be afraid to share your feelings and take his into consideration as well.

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  • I know people like to keep their lives private online, I don't pose to many pictures of me and my boyfriend but their are a few. What made me raise an eyebrow is him trying to hide in public when he's with you when he saw this other girl. Now you been together for 3 months and he still hasn't introduced you to his friends or family is kinda a red flag. Its almost like he's trying to keep you a secret, he doesn't want someone to know about you or possible doesn't want other girls to know about you or the fact he's in a relationship. One picture online shouldn't be problem but him immediately deleting the picture makes me a bit suspicious. Like ask him, why haven't you invited me to your friends or family? Why did you hide when you saw your friend, why did you delete the picture? Are you embarrassed of me? Is there someone else you trying to keep me a secret from... cause that shit would annoy me in heartbeat.

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  • It's only been 3 months, why would he saturate social media with photos of you guys? he doesn't now if it's going to last and he probably doesn't want to share it with everyone until he feels more confident about the relationship.

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  • He's hiding something, don't be silly and ignore the signs.

    And confront him, asking us here on GAG won't help, you need to ask him straight up and explain how you feel...

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  • The biggest red flag to me is that he hasn't wanted to introduce you to his friends. Are you in the same school together?

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  • I think he is hiding something. It's one thing not to blast your personal business online but to totally hide your relationship, something is wrong. Maybe he has done something shady in his past and afraid someone will tell you. Or he has another girl.. or another boy even?

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  • I have learnt that when a guy says something as their reason, then they mean it. Most tend to be simple when expressing things.

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  • I think he is cheating on you. Chris rock said something in his song "if you have dated a guy for 3 months and have not met any of his friends, YOU ARE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!"

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  • your boyfriend is confusing

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  • I'd consider that a bit worrisome. I wouldn't think he's hiding you, but I would think he's not that serious about you.

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  • Maybe he's shy? Or usually when you're in a relationship and other people know about it there's usually more drama, with others trying to ruin it. Don't be worried he wouldn't be with you if he was ashamed. :)

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  • i think he is acting sketchy

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  • Does he post other stuff though? I mean many guys don't use social media at all.

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  • You are not his girl. You're his side chick or his fuck chick

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    • 16d

      Your update. I know cheats who've done similar. One girl I know cheats on her husband, and she's always with the other guy, always snapchat WhatsApp etc him.

      If he's ashamed of your appearance, that's still a reason to dump him and find a boy who's proud to show you off as his girl. I'm not hot either, but my guy is always so proud of me, people always tell me, random women I don't know have even come to tell me they love the way he looks at me and that they can see he loves me so much. I see him beam when he introduces me to people.
      You don't need a guy who's ashamed of you. Who deletes pics of you so nobody will see. Who hides from people he knows when he's with you. This boy will chip away any self esteem that you have left (which I can tell, sadly, isn't that much atm)

      A boyfriend doesn't make his girl feel insecure and unwanted, he makes her feel beautiful and loved. You're way too young to be dealing with this, you can find better. Please don't let him ruin your self esteem.

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    • 15d

      Honestly, if it were me, I'd leave him. If it were my little sister or any of my friends, I'd beg her to leave him. And realistically, you know if your friends boyfriend was doing all this, you'd tell her to leave him too. You'd tell her to leave because you'd want better for her... you should want that for yourself.

      I get keeping private life private, I'm a very private person myself- barely use Facebook and stuff because of it and have never used my real name anywhere that isn't an official. I get it. But his relationship, why should it be private? Can you imagine your dad telling your mum to stay home so his friends don't see her or something like that? No, because people don't do that. I mean, people know who his friends are, why wouldn't they know who his girl is?
      Don't put up with it. Your early relationships can shape your future ones. It's sad when young girls get these kinda guys to ruin their self worth and future relationships.

      You deserve better. You deserve more.

    • 15d

      Do his online profiles on whatever social media he has say taken or single?

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