How often do you get ghosted from online dating?
Do you still use it after it happens so much or take a break?
I think it's addictive but at the same time exhausting due to my experiences.
Most Helpful Guy
Yes and yes.
It's a cyclical problem. You submit a profile, you find matches, get excited and start messaging. The more rejection you face the more your self esteem takes a hit. You start putting more time and effort into "fixing the problem" because that's what guys tend to do. You start looking more and more for opportunities to get a self esteem boost to make you feel better about yourself. Any of this sound familiar?
Here's the problem and the solution all in one:
Problem - You are looking for validation from a source that is poorly equipped to provide such, and thus taking control of your self worth out of your hands, and making others responsible for it. Big problem.
Solution - Start focusing on yourself. This is said a lot and almost sounds cliche... there's a reason for that (It's called truth). Women and men both (women especially) find themselves attracted to visible men and women. Confidence is not just some airy concept, it's real and it's attainable and not from looking at yourself in the mirror and repeating some mantra, not from reading some self help (get rich off the miseries of the lowly) scheme that is guaranteed to land you that perfect ten. Be honest, we've all seen the cartoon drawing narratives that promise us the next best trick to getting laid. The source of self confidence is feeling good about yourself. So do things that make you feel good. Ask yourself honestly what it is you are doing that makes you feel good. Do you find yourself spinning aspects to your profile (hedging that gray area between stretching the truth and outright lying) to make yourself feel more interesting? If you are doing this, STOP and go find things that make you passionate about getting up in the morning. Find things that excite you when you get off work and say "man I can't wait to get to that kick ass thing I am doing". Women (and men) are drawn to women (and men) of passion and pursuit. So start your pursuit and find your passion!
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