Another 'nice guy' thread... but with a non mentioned theory?

Guys including my friend complain that women don't like 'nice men'. Both genders like someone who is attractive physically and who also has a good personality (in their perspective). Women can be 'wooed' by men who may be very outgoing/funny. Anyways my point is... I think the really nice men who are having no luck are most likely either average or below attractive wise. I think being not so good looking as a male encourages you to be more nice to make up for it.
Which brings me to the point that women want men for their looks just as much... but those men who are on a similar level looks wise are often the 'douche bags'... perhaps because a lot of women pursue them/give them attention (a big ego results in a douche bag personality most of the time). Of course not every good looking male is a douche bag and not even unattractive guy is nice... but I think there is some truth to it.
Lastly, I think some of these men are too nice and are thus boring. And being too nice in the bedroom i can imagine being less enjoyable for women. So are nice men doomed? No... do they need to 'man up'... no... they just need to focus less on them being so nice and gentlemen like and be more interesting/unpredictable.
But there are of course good looking men, who are nice, with a funny personality but what is stopping them is them being shy. I have had women give me 'looks' on trains etc but I never had the balls to look them in the eye and smile... maybe I am fairly average and all men at some point experience this often (they may not pick up on it)... for shy men you are screwed unless you change your ways or come across a fellow shy friend of a friend.

I may be completely wrong, let me know what you all think anyways.


Most Helpful Girl

  • i can't read all that...

    It comes down to being nice is often confused with being complacent and passive. You goof around long enough and a girl starts to think you really aren't interested and any chance you had was lost.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Tl;dr

    Alright, I'm gonna tell you like I'd tell anyone else. Most women like nice guys, but... they like nice guys with a SPINE. That's it. You just can't be the stereotypical nice guy who gets pushed around and does nothing about it. You see a woman you like, screw it man, say something to her. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and keep this in mind, if you come across a woman who legitimately likes overly macho asshole behavior, then you don't want absolutely anything to do with her.

    • Agreed. I have had women smile/give me ''looks'' on trains/walking on the streets and I pussy out and don't keep eye contact. How you are in your teenage years effects you for a while... but im working at it.

    • Exactly. Trust me, don't turn into the "bad boy" you'll attract all the kinds of women you don't want. I even tested it myself, it was pretty bad. If you just stay the confident nice guy with a backbone, the right women will be attracted to that. Being a doormat is probably the most embarrassing thing a man can do, probably even worse than being broke to be honest.


What Girls Said 4

  • I like guys that are nice, but I find too often that in the honeymoon phase guys will put on a fake 'nice' personality and when the honeymoon phase comes to an end I don't quite like that person anymore.

    • Yeah that's the thing when im in a good mood people find me very funny and interesting. when my mood is low conversations end up dull.

    • I've been with two guys previously that seem amazing and are so nice to me when I start seeing them and then after a couple months it's like they've turned into that evil gremlin and I feel like I don't know that person anymore. It's annoying. Its ok if people kind of fluctuate depending on mood because that's always going to happen, but when they put on a mask just to draw the person in and then take off the mask after catching them, it's frustrating to fall for someone that seems so well matched to you, only to discover you've started to date the devil.

  • I'm tired of the "nice = boring" trope... being nice isn't boring... being boring is boring... and if your main play is to be "nice", and you've got nothing else to offer or that makes you interesting, THAT is boring.

    • On my own personal life, I know plenty of people who are very nice, pleasant people, but they have nothing else to them or we have nothing in common, so I have no interest in hanging out with them regularly... it'd be boring! But I know plenty of people who are nice and also interesting... those are the people I hang out with.

    • Yeah I agree with that. I think the mistake these 'nice men' they call themselves is the main play is to be very nice and they think that alone should get/keep them the girl they want.

    • "So what are your interests and hobbies?"
      "I'm nice"
      "Ummmmmm... ok... but like what do you do for fun?"
      "I'm a nice guy!"
      "Yeahhhh we're fuckin done here..."
      "Bitches just don't appreciate nice guys!"

  • A man can be nice but I want him to have balls too

    • How would you test to see if he does? I would happily fight to protect a girlfriend... but i probably dont show that in any way.

    • When I say "having balls" I meant the way he would behave with me

  • It's usually because they have no backbone, are soft, way too shy to hold conversation and things like that. So they either never meet women, or they meet women who are good at choosing victims and no real men.


What Guys Said 1

  • I agree, it's mostly about look. Niceness doesn't really play much of a role in how well you do with women. If you are not attractive you will struggle to get girls regardless of whether you are nice or an asshole. If you are hot then you will have little trouble finding girls who want to fuck you/date you regardless of whether you are nice or an asshole.