Asked her to be exclusive and didn't give me a straight answer. What's going on in her head?

So I've been dating this girl for about 2 months now after meeting her online. Things have been great. We have good chemistry, intimacy is there and we're always having fun. With my anxiety problems, I feel like I am more attracted to her than she is to me though. She still initiates contact and asks about future plans together but it feels like I'm more invested. She's even playfully asked if I'm talking to other girls from the dating website (I said no) Into a month dating, we went on a 3 day trip which was a great intimate moment for the both of us. The next week she came over to my place to spend the night and we had sex. Afterwards I calmly asked her what she thought about being exclusive. She first said yes, but after questioning her tone she said she doesn't want to say no but that she'll have to think about it. She claims she's not seeing anybody and neither am I so I don't know what the hold up is. Do I wait for her to bring it up or should I? Did I jeopardize my chances?


0|0
6|4

What Girls Said 6

  • Your guess is as good as ours, if not better, as to what's going on in her mind. Other than obviously not being certain about whether or not she wants to be exclusive with you or not so.. I wouldn't count on that too much.

    Should you wait for her to bring it up? Well.. that's kind of your only option unless you want to come across as needy/overly persistent when it's already pretty clear that she's leaning towards a 'no'. You already left the ball in her court so.. just wait.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 11d

      What makes you certain she's leaning towards a no? In the past when I ask girls the same question they go cold. This girl isn't, she still initiates contact and wants to hang out this weekend. Is there still that probability that she might say yes under those circumstances?

    • Show All
    • 11d

      Thank you, I'll probably do that! So what you're saying is that I should bring it up again then?

    • 10d

      Bring it up but in a much firmer manner. Tell her you want her decision now, or else you'll take it as a no and move on your merry way.
      If you bring it up delicately, I wouldn't be surprised if she continues (most likely) leading you on, saying that she 'just needs a bit more time' to be sure or some shit like that.

  • she's not that into you it sounds like, unfortunately. I would pull back and see if she reaches out. then you will know if she's really wants you

    0|1
    0|0
  • i think she just wants a fling

    0|1
    0|1
  • she doesn't like u

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like she may not know what she wants. I did the same thing with a guy because I didn't really have feelings for him and didn't want to string him along.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 11d

      Did you continue seeing him and initiating contact? I understand your point of view but if what you're saying is true, then I'd expect for her to give me signs indicating she's not interested which she isn't.

    • 11d

      No I actually do have feelings for him now Im just waiting until a good time to tell him. We were really only hooking up and he wasn't like direct about it. We continued to see each other and still do to this day.

  • she must be confused

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • You're sounding a little needy, to ask that in the first place and then question her tone... It can be a turn off. You mentioned your anxiety problems and that could be part of it, it's making you insecure.

    It's usually girls who bring up that conversation, not the other way around. You're living in a scarcity mindset right now, you don't need to commit to her. Yes, you probably really like her.. But there's tons of other girls out there and I believe the reason why you're wanting to commit to her is because you're scared of losing her, you shouldn't be. You need to take a step away from all that and just go with the flow.

    If I'm dating a girl, I'll just let things be, and if she ever feels the need for validation and wants to confirm our relationship, that's up to her, but I don't need to confirm it. That's just needy, if she wants to go have sex with other guys than I'll just stop seeing her, bu I don't need her to verbally tell me we're 'exclusive' because I honestly don't care. Most guys wouldn't even want that conversation, most guys would be happy to keep things the way they are and still have the option of seeing other girls. Most girls aren't players to the same degree that guys are, they'll want to tie things down, leave it up to her.

    0|3
    0|0
    • 11d

      Thanks for the helpful input man. I'll take a different mindset and try to date other people probably. With that said though, do you think I "blew it"?

    • Show All
    • 5d

      Hey man, it's been about 3 1/2 weeks since I asked her the question and she really hasn't brought it up yet. This past week she's been distant and acting indifferent but has agreed to hang out tomorrow. I'm really just getting tired of the stupid games and wanting to know where she thinks our relationship is going, it's seriously draining! I know it's a sign of weakness to bring up the question again but if tomorrow doesn't go well could I STATE something to her like "hey, I understand you don't like talking about your feelings (because she doesn't) but I'd like for us to be on the same page. I'm just confused where this is going" And see how she responds? Or something of that nature

    • 3d

      It's a risky one, it really depends. Is the frustration of not knowing what she wants enough for you to risk ending the whole thing? You want a relationship, she's not giving you straight answers on that, if it's a relationship or nothing from your perspective, then I guess you could be firm about it and ask her, just don't get pissed if she doesn't want to see you anymore because if she really doesn't want a relationship, if you keep pushing it you will drive her away.

  • Sounds like she's not ready to commit, she's probably talking to other guys. Don't wait in line for her you either want exclusivity or nothing at all and if she avoids the question tell her it's over because if she really wanted you she wouldn't have avoided the question.

    0|0
    0|0
  • She either thinks you're a player and doesn't feel like she can trust you to be faithful, or she is lyjng and is seeing another guy and not sure which one to commit to.

    0|1
    0|0
  • she doesn't know what she wants

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...