What to say to someone who has stood you up?

I met this guy three years ago and fell in love. The only problem is he's a professional Finn sailor so he's in a different city every few weeks. Despite this, every chance I got to see him was amazing. About two weeks ago after not seeing him for a year, I had a very vivid sexual dream and two days later he initiated contact. He said he wish he could see me and how lucky he was that I was in his life even though we can't see each other often. He said I should come and we meet up one night. I said ok and asked him what night was best. He said Friday. I drove nearly four hours to Miami on Friday afternoon. He said he was training for the weekend race. I arrived at 7. Hours past in which he promised he'd be there but nothing. He finally texted me and said it would have to be another night. He apologized profusely and said it would have to be another night. He knew full well I had driven four hours and had gotten ready. I texted him a classy message that despite everything I wished him luck and letting him know how disrespectful he was of my time. He replied he would make it up to me. Thankfully I have friends who live in Miami so I ended up going out at 2 am and having a great time. My question is, what would you have said or done?


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What Guys Said 2

  • that's why it's advised to call just before leaving and understanding once schedule.. it could be genuine thing also not just like he did it on purpose of avoiding you

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    • 6d

      He assured me he'd be available Friday night. He kept messaging me saying he was tied up but he'd come over. He waited until 1:15 am to say it would have to be another night. Why make someone drive 8 hours, get ready and get a room if you're not going to show up? That's inconsiderate I think so he deserves to be blocked and I learned a valuable lesson.

    • 6d

      that's why I hate texting! a call and talk of couple of seconds is much better than texting for hours.. when you're sure what you want
      by the way I think you are just temporary angry... you are the same girl who drove 8 hours
      you will surely like to know his reasons and try to fight him back

  • Probably call him and ask what the shit? At least you ended up in Miami... also, make him come to you next time

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    • 6d

      No, even if he was in my area I would never see him again. He's not worth it and any feelings of respect I felt for him are long gone.

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    • 6d

      I don't think it's over dramatic tbh. I drove 8 hours round trip to see him. I asked him several times what day he was available. He kept texting saying he'd be over but at 1:15 AM said it'd be another night. I wasted gas, time and money for someone who apparently had no respect which is why I blocked him.

    • 6d

      It's your life. I don't know you or him. For what you want. I'm just saying you said you loved him and this is a 1 time thing. Hard to believe that you actually loved a dude or really liked him if you can get over a dude this quickly. It sucks, but it's not like he's stood you up 3 or 4 times. But to think that 1 semi long drive ruined an entire relationship seems a bit much. Especially if he genuinely apologized for it and said to make it up. As if you've never really made a mistake in your life. But like I said, it's your life and can do what you want. But since you asked this question, I'm merely giving my opinion

What Girls Said 3

  • Honestly I think you did the right thing. I would be been blunter probably, telling him that I didn't appreciate him wasting my time and he should have told me sooner.

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  • Meet up half way. Don't go that far if you aren't sure he's even going to show. Though it shows that you are committed, if he doesn't show up then it no longer matters.

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  • Same as you. Then block, delete. Fuck that.

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