I know the guy I'm talking to obviously likes me, but why can't he commit?

We have been talking for 45 days. Our schedules don't work with school and practice so we only hang out at school and then we text and snapchat. We're honest about how we feel about each other and he's not usually one to be really open about that. He told me that he already thought we were at the point of dating but he's never actually officially said that we are dating. I don't want to keep asking him about our relationship cause I don't want to scare him off. We say "I love you" and we do care a lot about each other. He doesn't talk about us with his family but I think that's a guy thing. He kisses me and holds my hand in the hallway, and that means he claims me, but he won't officially say we are dating or just hasn't said it yet. I think it's possible that part of it is because of the holidays and he doesn't want a steady girlfriend during that. Another reason why I think he won't ask me to hangout is because he doesn't have his license so I'd have to drive everywhere and stuff and he doesn't have a ton of money to spend. We are both 16 and Juniors in high school. We are both very mature people.


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What Guys Said 4

  • You are 16. You have NO IDEA what a relationship is and shouldn't be considering one anyway.

    Concentrate on making you the best person you can be right now. Revisit the idea of a relationship in about 5 years.

    "We are both very mature people. "
    Obviously, not.

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  • He publicly shows his affection and he said he loves you so you probably have nothing to worry about.

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  • You guys are cute, and I'm not patronizing you. Just give it time, you two are young and it's only been a little but if time. You have your whole lives ahead of you. Just wait he'll come around.

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  • Is a label really necessary?

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    • 8d

      See, I didn't think it mattered. But I don't just wanna be a make-out buddy; so if he sees me as his girlfriend, I wanna know that he does.

    • 8d

      He could always say you're bf/gf but only consider you a make out buddy. My point being actions always speak the truth unlike words

    • 8d

      Thanks for your opinion. It helps.

What Girls Said 2

  • i think you pretty much just answered your own question. but you should talk to him about it. and don't worry about scaring him off, like he already said "i love you" anyway haha

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  • I mean, I'd say as juniors, even though we're mature, there's a lot we don't know. Right now isn't the time to be thinking about relationships. Junior year is the most important. Focus on making your efforts in school the best you can as possible. Also maybe he doesn't want to commit because: 1) He's a player and doesn't want to put a label on this so that he doesn't have to be "cheating" if caught with another girl. 2) He's too focused on junior year and also wants to put effort into it, because junior year is pretty big. Or, 3) He just is really unsure of what to do in general and is trying to figure out what's best for both of you. Nonetheless, focus on school. We got a long future ahead of us.

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    • 8d

      Sorry, a correction. That weird emoji was supposed to be a "3". Don't know what happened there.

    • 8d

      He's very loyal. Two of my guy friends were with him at a sport thing and they said "let's go find some chicks" and he didn't say anything. He's not talking to any other girls. He's not a player.

      He is focusing a lot on his sport right now.

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