I don't have a beard and tattoos. Am I a lost cause?

Ok so I'm 25 and live in the UK. Been single for bloody ages!

And in truth it feels like the dating scene is just one massive train wreck at the moment.

Every guy looks like a damn lumbo-sexual with generic dude-bro tattoos.

Every girl seems to be utterly apathetic to anything but the above. In truth it feels like girls are terrified of showing any emotions these days for fear of being uncool XD

I'm not unattractive (but doesn't everyone think that lol) but I almost feel that my personality and humour are rendered irrelevant because I'm not part of the trend.

Of course I am aware that there are many, many men and women who do not fit the above descriptions. I'm just generalising but perhaps you can see what I mean?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I definitely get what you mean. There's very little value for intelligence and the 'clean' faced look. I am *not* attracted to beards and tatts at all :p I understand feeling frustrated and alone but isn't 'lost cause' just a tad melodramatic? >.> Also, girls who tend to hide any sign of emotion either because there's not that much happening under the surface or they're afraid they'll be attacked or taken advantage of if they do.

    These days the number 1 worry for women dating or heading out to meet up with/get to know guys is "I hope he doesn't kill me" "I hope I get out of this alive" and I'm not even kidding. A lot of women go in expecting to have a good time but will scope out an exit plan *in-case of emergency* as soon as they get in. Which, shouldn't even need to be a thing. So yeah, being safe can kind of put a damper on things unless you really click.

    Maybe the kind of person you're looking for isn't in your area? It can be tedious but focused dating sites (ie, interest based) or forum sites can be a great way of getting to know like-minded people. It's so much better to spend a few months investing in getting to know similar people than trying to date girls who aren't the right fit.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't have any piercings. I don't have any tattoos, either. I can grow facial hair enough for a beard, but choose to only keep stubble at best.

    I don't struggle much in the dating world, but I will admit that the club and bar scene aren't places that I say I do well with women. I'm too clean-cut-looking for the women that frequent those places!


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What Girls Said 3

  • Look for love in other places. Like volunteer, join a club where people have similar interest, join a dating site, have a friend set you up on a blind date, convince your friends to go speed dating with you for a laugh (that way if it's a bust you're still having a good time), etc...

    Also, you don't need to get a tattoo to get someone. If you want you can grow out your beard for fun, but tattoos are a little to permanent to get for anyone else but yourself.

    The thing about girls being emotionless I think is a bit unfair. Now a days, the second you open up to someone the endless mind games begin (this goes for both sides). I can understand the fear attached to that. Try not to let it get to you. I say broaden your horizons and stay positive.


  • I'm so into 'clean' guys so not a lost cause at all. You just have to broaden your perspective? Like what everyone says, join clubs or have a hobby wherein you meet other people more.

  • Personally you sound attractive. I can't tell personality tho.
    Some girls are just weird tbh


What Guys Said 3

  • Surely you can describe yourself in more than just negating terms, things you're not. What's good about you? Do you actually try and chat women up in real life, rather than ogle the pretty ladies on the pit of male hope known as POF and other suchlike dating sites?

  • Buddy, you are WAY ahead of the game WITHOUT
    so let's get off the blame game as to what's missing = single
    and think WHAT do gals want that I can give easily to be most popular?
    Money? once it's gone so are they

    Answer: hands-on dance partner
    so sign up for classes ASAP, look under ballroom which will take you to many kinds of dances, socials, dating, club-popular you & classmates

  • Get a tattoo asap and grow a beard (and a fucking nut)! I bet the girls will drool over you after you've done that!