Dating and the tab?

I have a problem but again its sort of an open discussion.

When dating is it ever okay for the girl to reach to her wallet and pick up the whole tab?

i usually tell the guy that I would pay for my half because I know how hard he works to make his money, plus I feel less obligated to be extra nice or kiss the guy because he got me dinner or whatever it is was.

sometime I'm just getting to know the guy and things are casual, and he would be okay with me paying, I let the first time slip, but then if it happens again I just start getting really annoyed ...

what is okay and what is not? what about you guys? how does it work with you? and am I weird for paying for my half all the time? and are those guys supposed to always be okay with me paying for my half and never offer again?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm just as curious to see the replies also. I see no problem with a girl wanting to pay half of a tab or if she feels the whole tab. Long as both parties agree on it I see no problem with it . Say maybe he covers the 1st time you cover the next time. This has always been the guy footing the bill because guys always did the asking out and way back when the guys were the ones with paying jobs. But like everything else things change is it for the good who knows. So now we have ladies asking guys out so I see no reason that it can't be equal.

    • But when hanging out and you kinda wait for the girl to pay for herslef but then she feels bad and pay for you too, don't you feel bad and try to at least pay for what you ate/drank?

    • Oh I don't wait for her to expecting her to pay the tab. Only if she offered when the bill came would I have her pay half or the whole thing if she insisted.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Today's world? No hard and fast rules. IF you're working and he's not, why not pay? It doesn't commit you to anything in a romantic sense and also gives you control, if you want that. Letting him pay can, as you say, let him have control, obligate you to be 'nice'...unfortunately that's still true as in earlier days.

    Early on girls should at least offer to split the tab unless they are really broke or you are old friends and you can let him pay without creating this obligation.

  • Yes it's okay for the girl to pick up the tab. Or offer half, or whatever.

    I usually pay, and if the girl wants to chip in "great."

  • Contradicting question. You just asked if it's okay to take up the tab, then you said you'd get annoyed if he "does it again"?

    This is why we prefer to pay. No griping, choosing, obligations, or anything annoying. Men like to pay. Period.


What Girls Said 1

  • I think it's totally OK for the girl to pick up the tab. if you want to, just tell him you will and that'll be that. If he's like most guys, he'll probably protest and try to pay anyways. But if you insist that you want to pay, he probably will let you.

    Personally though...I guess I'm kind of archaic in my views. I would feel weird if I'm paying for a date and although logically, I agree it is totally OK, emotionally, I consider it a turn off. It makes no sense. I think it might be some kind of weird primitive instinct that some females still have. One time, I offered to pay for the date and the guy said OK and then I completely lost interest in him. In fact I kind of started to disdain him. Not fair I know...but I can't help the way I feel. It's a gut response.

    • Unless it's not a date. Then the guy pays for himself and the girl pays for herself.