He flaked on me, hasn't called?

Grrrr. I've been talking to a guy for a month, we've met up twice and have a lot of things in common with great chemistry (no sex yet, he hasn't earned it). We usually have some form of contact everyday and previously he's only not called once when he said he was going to and apologized the next day. I asked him at the beginning of the week if he wanted to get together during the week and he said yes, that possibly Friday he would be available. So Thursday he texts me and asks nohim and I'm pretty sure he hit the ignore button on his phone because it rang twice and went to voice mail. It's Sunday now and I still haven't heard anything from him. He had mentioned before that sometimes he gets tired and just ignores all his calls and goes to sleep. He was also having a bad week and seemed frustrated and bummed out. The fact that he hasn't apologized or made any contact has pretty much thrown up a huge red flag and I'm not even sure if he eventually calls again if I'm willing to forgive. I'm not planning on calling him. The ball is in his court.

I'm questioning myself though.

Should I have not have asked him out in the first place and just let him come to me? The previous week he said he wanted to get together so I thought it was okay to ask. Maybe I pressured him.

Does he know he f'd up and is scared to call? Is he waiting for the dust to settle and hope I'll forget.

I just feel completely stupid but I refuse to call. I figure he can chase me if he wants.

Any thoughts?


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What Guys Said 1

  • No offense, but I would not jump to conclusions before hearing what he has to say. It's very easy to do that. Wait until you hear what he has to say and then take the time to make a decision before you do anything hasty. People sometimes have good reasons. However, I think that you need to communicate with him about it. You have only been talking to him for a month, so your relationship is very, very new for both of you. He may not know that you have an expectation of hearing from him every day. Also, he may be getting a bit more comfortable in the relationship and may not feel it necessary to call or text every day. This happens sometimes. It's important for you to not allow yourself to feel that just because he isn't texting or calling you every day that he doesn't like you or want to talk to you. I only talk to my girlfriend every few days and we are both comfortable doing that at this point. Sometimes guys need their space because it's how they think about and process things. (Read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.") If women are too needy and clingy, it can turn guys off because you're being insecure. At any rate, I am not sure if I said anything that helps you, but I hope so!

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