My guy best friend wants to be with me and father my daughter?

is he serious? he tells me he's serious and he wants to be my man even though he knows my life story. we have been friends for so long and he said he loved me for a long time. what will it take for you men to offer this very serious and tempting suggestion to the woman you love?

Updates:
updates: he just stopped talking to me and avoiding me now. :( like I have a plague. what happened? :(
okay so I talked to him today after almost a week of no contact. he hugged me and we talked. and things are clear again. :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • he seems serious...i mean he's been there for you thru thick and thin it seems like...he knows your life story and he's probably thought about this before bringing it up to you...id take him up on his offer but tell him you'd like to take things slowly because your friendship is the most important thing to you...

    and hey, when people get married it should be to their best friend, someone who they can tell anything to and not be judged, someone who knows everything, every dark secret you have...this guy seems serious, try taking him seriously and seeing how things go...hope this helps, good luck

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    • Yes I can tell him anything and he knows my dark past. not once did he judge me or left me broken. he tells me everyday and reminds me that no matter what happens, me and my baby girl will not be alone. I am still with someone right now and he knows how I get treated (like a prisoner) in my own home. :( but he's always there to cheer me up. he's waiting in the wings for me even tho he knows I won't leave my man for him. :( he told me if I do leave, we'll run away with baby and start anew. :)

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    • But wait, what did you write here:

      "I'm not leading him on because we were clear from the start. my baby is the most important and if things ended with me and my man, id wanna start fresh on my own which he respects. he said, he respects that and will be here as much"...

      I'm a bit confused now. Are you single? Or still with your man? Who treats you bad? You'll have to make a choice in the near future or you will break your friends heart!!

    • Im not single. I'm with someone who treats me like a possesion. my bff knew this from the start when we first met. he only told me his feelings just recently when he couldn't take the way my man treats me. but he said he loved me for a long time already... no matter what happens he will always be there for me and baby. whether we end up together or not. but he really wants to be my hubby he says

What Guys Said 9

  • Yeah he's probably serious and you should take pause to see if this is something you're interested in. Don't make a decision now. Continue to hang out and to see each other... see if there are some feelings there for him. Allow him to 'court' you to some extent. You may find the feelings are reciprocated. The thing you don't want to do is accept this relationship if there's no romantic feelings present. Don't do it cause it's "best" or any of that junk.

    Take it slow and tell him you're doing so. Make your decision in a matter of weeks or months, not a matter of hours or days. Also, don't see any other men until you've been up front and worked this thing out. If you're already seeing another guy, then all bets are off... mr great friend knew what he was getting himself into lol.

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    • He's not rushing me. he just reminds me he's always there for me no matter what. :) even when I was pregnant, HE WAS THE ONE driving me to work and home EVERYDAY (even winter) instead of my man. he surprises me and showers me with attention and love everyday. he sees me on my worse and still says I'm beautiful. :)

    • Well sounds like a "keeper" as they say lol

    • AWWWW I'm the luckiest bitch alive... :)

  • have you tried contacting him? maybe he's been busy...people usually odnt go from hey I want to take care of you and your children to screw you I'm not gonna talk to you...

    hes either very busy or sh*t something happened, ask him to call you and BREAK UP WITH YOUR CURRENT BOYFRIEND its not good to be dating someone and thinking of antoher guy this way,...its not fair to him

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    • I confronted him. he said he doesn't know what I'm talking about. he told me he's lost and confused. but he said he still loves me and he told me I said we can never be... he said his feelings will never change but I didn't reply anymore...to his email. but why avoid me I see him all the time

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    • I think you owe this guy more than friendship...afterall the person you marry should be your best friend that knows EVERYTHING about you...you should NEVER say NEVER, I really think that this guy is solid and would always be there for you...you shouldnt let go of that, esp if he's willing to bend over backwards for you....dont take him for granted, he'll eventually start slipping away....i personally think you should maybe sometime give him a chance, at least casually go on some dates..

    • I know...:( its crazy how we can tell each other everything good or bad without being judged. yea never say never if we are meant to be time will tell. we see each other a lot and talk about everything. thanks man..

  • Hes crazy serious. That is NOT something you say lightly. Just make sure he's doing it because he loves you romantically, and not because he thinks he's doing you a favor because he loves you as a friend.

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    • Not at all. at first he was only attracted to me physically then we became good friends then he fell hard... I didn't even have a baby yet when we first met... but he told me all these, and I can't believe it. he even said to me I'm dead serious, I wanna be a part of ur family if you let me... I want you to have my baby too and I hope well have a son so he can protect our daughter. wow. but I won't pressure u. I'm always here waitin and il be the happiest man on earth because I have a perfect woman.

  • What it takes? Guts! The huge amount of guts you only can bring up when you are really convinced. He has put himself in probably the most vulnerable situation he has been in his whole life, because when it turns out wrong (= you say no) he might lose all he cares for.

    Do you at least like him? Do you feel good around him? Is he at least somewhat attractive? Then go for it. Sounds like a good foundation for a long term relationship in which you will be fairly happy and at least be comfortable, loved and safe. A lot of women would like to have that and trade in their "prince on a white horse" for a loving husband.

    Why don't you believe him?

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    • I like him alot... :) I need him. I feel the bestest around him. he is very very attractive. :) he told me he will get 3 jobs just to support us including "OUR" baby. :) I just can't believe it that a young and who has so many other options in life would want to waste his life on a single mom like me. get it

  • It seems a logical thing to me.

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    • Explain...:)

    • If I were really be into a woman I'd like to be like a dad to her kid(s)

      If I like a woman as friend, I want to be like an uncle to her kid(s)

    • Awwwwwww. :) thanks its clear now

  • Update: updates:

    Maybe he changed his mind about you and is not very happy to discus why he changed his mood: something he knows or thinks about you or something he just feels (like not feeling ready for kids) and too good a friend to hurt you by expressing it in words. Maybe you showed so much enthusiasm he got afraid, maybe, maybe...

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    • So avoiding me is the best way to show how good of friend he is?

    • People aren't always straightforward.

    • But he may be very busy too, as suggested by themastaplan.

  • I'm in a similar situation. Only the woman's still married. She's not happy in the marriage, and has even threatened divorce. According to her, he's tolerable on some days, but she's no longer in love with him. They barely talk and even after getting new digs, things are the same. I told her that no matter what, I'd always love her and would treat her son like he was my own kid. She's my best friend and I am hers. We have so much history together and I've always wanted to be with her. I want her to be the mom of my kids someday. My advice is to give him a chance. That's all we want anyway. If we can have that shot to be what we always wanted to be, we can leave it all on the table and whatever happens, happens. Trust me. I see more best guy and girl friends marry and stay married than seeing male and females with no prior friendship. You should give him a shot. :-)

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    • I already stopped talking to him... because he was taken too. :( I gave him his chance. he blew it... :(

    • Wow. Yes he did blow it. Big time.

  • ...You Shouldnt Be Asking That Question...For Love Is Blind...And If He Truly Loves You...It'll Take All Of His Life To Be With You

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    • He doesnt. :( he never really did

  • Sound like he wants a realtionship with you, might be trying to turn you. You can decide what you want to do if the relatinship ends the friendship does to.

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    • Both ended long time ago now. :(

    • What happened?

    • Long story... but we did stop talking... I think he was faking it all along. :(

What Girls Said 3

  • He might be serious, just too shy or unwilling to tell you before because of what it might done to your relationship. Maybe he realizes he's running out of time. My suggestion? Go on a couple of date-dates. See if you feel the same way and if he really is serious.

    P.S. I personally made a pact with my best guy friend to have a kid if we were both single by the time I was 40. Not a bad idea I think.

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    • No more.. he's avoiding me :(

  • try dating first

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  • He's serious. He sounds like a great guy.(:

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    • He is. I don't know why he's putting up with me. :)

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