Should I date this older man?

OK I'm 19 and currently considering dating a 51 year old, we have tons in common, get along great, love each other very much, and I just have such strong feelings for him…. but he's been married before and has 3 kids, two of which are 18 and currently live with him. what should I do? I really like him but I'm not so sure how this will turn out, and the fact that he has kids kinda creeps me out.

p.s. and I know what your all going to say, he's not a pedophile, so get that notion out of your head :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would not do it. It isn't just the age difference but the fact that even if you like one another, think about your future. Look at his children and realize he has a past much longer than your own. I dated a guy with a child once. He was fourteen years older than me and at the time I told myself that it didn't matter.

    I didn't want to see that as creepy, but I did. I didn't want to look at his child and remind myself how old I was when he had that child, but I did. We had a lot in common, but it was too much for me. I was 19 at the time and to this day the thought creeps me out.

    Your situation is much different when it comes to ages. Don't consider dating him when you could and should be dating his children. Even if you think you'll get past it, think about what it would do to them. You may think otherwise, but you are still young and stupid at 18. I'm still young and stupid at 21. It goes away with experience.

    You don't want this potential relationship to hurt them or yourself. Think about it seriously. We are all serious, trying to help you. You wouldn't be asking this here looking for serious answers if you didn't already know how wrong it is.

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    • I mea I know its "wrong" but honestly how can you help who/what you love? I mean its not like I got into this "relationship" thinking id fall for a guy 3 decades older than me, I never would have thought that/or want that....until now.

    • Then give it time. Be around him for a year or so with the 'potential' of dating him. Talk to his children as their father's friend. If after about that time, everyone is okay with it, then start slowly dating. But just try to be careful. You are right that you can't help who you love. It gets us in trouble more times than any of us can count. Just be around his family without dating him for a long time. That will detrmine how you should proceed

What Guys Said 2

  • You've got to get used to the fact that he has kids your age; otherwise you're just setting yourself up for failure. You're very brave to consider a relationship that's almost 3 times your age.

    ~ ArtistBboy

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  • You shouldn't get emotionally involved with him, you won't have much of a future together.. If you want to use him for a while go ahead, but don't get it in your head that you two could live "happily ever after".

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't see the point in dating a much older man unless he's your sugar daddy and giving you a lot of money. In your situation, this guy is much older than you. He's probably been dating longer than you've been alive. He's gonna know how to manipulate a younger and less mature girl so he can get what he wants. His kids are around the same age as you. He sounds really weird and even you say you are kinda creeped out by that. Listen to your gut, if you feel something isn't right or you're creeped out there's a good reason for it!

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